If You Could Tell Acephobic People Anything About Asexuality What Would It Be?

[SoItGoes]

Today I was thinking about all of the things that I would like to tell acephobic people and I was wondering if anyone else had anything they would say. 

My list is as follows: 

"Asexual people are real."

"Asexual people are not confused."

"If an asexual person has sex, they are still asexual."

"Being ace does not equate to being abused as a child."

[SmallBean]

Asexuality is a real thing and ace people are not wrong or robots or plants or whatever because they're ace

[purple-cat]

Asexuality is not a phase, it is a real sexuality.

[CaptainMarvel]

I would probably tell the haters that sex is like sour candy. Some people love it, and some people hate it, and some people are in between. Your candy preference doesn’t make you less human, and neither should your sexuality 

[babygyrl09]

I would say, and have said, that I'm complete as I am and dont need to be in a relationship to be complete. I am happily single and secure in my ace/aro-ness.

[ElasticPlanet]

If it were a specific individual person I think I'd start by asking, rather than telling... Try to find out what kind of a mind I'm up against.

 

Are they homophobic? Biphobic? Kink-phobic? Anythingelsephobic?

[StarWolf112]

Why does it matter if I don't want to have sex? Does it really matter to you? I'm happy with my cats and have plenty of friends that can be my family. 

[Coby Asola]

What do y'all even qualify as aphobia? Is that even a thing? And what are some real life examples of it, because I'd really like to know. 

[Sweet Potato]

On 1/23/2019 at 2:42 PM, purple-cat said:

Asexuality is not a phase, it is a real sexuality.

This

 

[Verb]

2 hours ago, Coby Asola said:

What do y'all even qualify as aphobia? Is that even a thing? And what are some real life examples of it, because I'd really like to know. 

It's generally an idea that asexuality isn't real, or that people who identify as asexual are "fooling themselves" in some way. The top hits are "late bloomer" and "closeted gay".

 

I'm no expert on the matter, though. Happy to be corrected by those wiser than myself.

[QueenOfTheRats]

This is really serious stuff. It's not fake. It's not for attention. You don't understand how much you take for granted when you experience sexual attraction. Take that away and most relationships look like some sort con run by people who have nothing meaningful to offer.

[Sally]

I've never met one, but if I did, I'd  probably tell them to f*ck off.  

[Joe the Stoic]

"Who are you?"

[SithAzathoth WinterDragon]

"It's psychologically normal to never want sex or masturbate, not everyone is sexually active and or experienced sexual attraction. It's not normal to force one to do something they never desired, or never want to experience."

 

[blueyoshi]

"Literally why do you care if other people don't want to have sex?"

[Dreamsexual]

.

[Winged Whisperer]

On 1/25/2019 at 11:18 PM, Coby Asola said:

What do y'all even qualify as aphobia? Is that even a thing? And what are some real life examples of it, because I'd really like to know.  

Any form of prejudice, discrimination, or hate for asexuals and asexuality. Real life example: When I told my wife that I think I'm asexual, she said that it meant that I didn't really love her and that she was only a friend in my mind (wtf?!). Marriages can be annulled based on if they're consummated or not. Asexuals can be victims of corrective rape (and it's not uncommon at all for people to tell asexuals that they just haven't had good sex yet and be pushed into sex based on that argument). Asexuals can have their sexual identity outright denied. Some people (on this very forum) believe asexuals shouldn't try to date non-asexuals. Asexuality is often excluded from discussions of sexuality and minority orientations. These are some of the obvious ones off the top of my head.

 

 

Anyway, what I would tell an acephobic person really depends on the degree and type of their prejudice. Probably the most important thing I'd want to tell them is that asexuals are just as equally capable of loving relationships as much as anyone else. Not having an innate desire for sex does not preclude my ability to deeply and selflessly love someone else.

[SeeYa]

As others have said it really depends on what that persons specific view on asexuality was. What misconceptions they have about asexuality is what should be addressed. Of course, if someone is really strong in their convictions talking to them may be entirely pointless. At that point it probably isn't worth your bother so just go on living.

[Dreamsexual]

.

[Chocolatastic AroAce]

I guess I would just try to remind them that my life is not theirs, and so my decisions really shouldn't be a problem for them. If they really care about me the way they pretend to then my happiness should be all that matters.

[Queer_Queen]

I am a person too.

 

[TrippleL]

“Asexuals are real; you’re looking at one.”

 

“How about you tell me what YOU think about when you masturbate? (Actually, I don’t care)”

[Karst]

We're leaving some p***y for the rest of you!

[Vala]

I would tell them that we're not missing out on anything, that our lives still have meaning without sexual or romantic relationships. 

[babygyrl09]

4 hours ago, TrippleL said:

“How about you tell me what YOU think about when you masturbate? (Actually, I don’t care)”

What. Someone has asked you what you think about when masturbating? Like, in casual conversation? Did they realize how far over the line that is? Talk about invasion of privacy. I mean, I just posted a topic on here asking a similar question, but that's in the interest of open communication, and with a disclaimer: if you feel offended, don't answer.

[TrippleL]

7 hours ago, babygyrl09 said:

What. Someone has asked you what you think about when masturbating? Like, in casual conversation? Did they realize how far over the line that is? Talk about invasion of privacy. I mean, I just posted a topic on here asking a similar question, but that's in the interest of open communication, and with a disclaimer: if you feel offended, don't answer.

Oh yes, several times!

 

I don’t actually mind answering, it’s more the context it is asked in. Disclaimer: Thinking back to before I knew about asexuality I probably would have asked the same question 🙂

 

I’ve been innocently asked that when coming out as Ace before, so I have to patiently explain that they must not confuse sexual attraction with sexual actions.

 

An alpha male once got wind of my asexuality and made a point of asking this loudly. Good times...

[Dreamsexual]

On ‎1‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 6:30 AM, TrippleL said:

An alpha male once got wind of my asexuality and made a point of asking this loudly.

.

[James121]

Are there acephobic people out there? 

[Winged Whisperer]

45 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Actually phobia means 'fear or hatred'.  

Actually, you're using etymological technicalities to make shit up. Here's a definition of Homophobia from Google: " dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people. " and here's the definition from Wikipedia: "Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality. It has been defined as contempt, prejudice, aversion, hatred or antipathy, may be based on irrational fear, and is often related to religious beliefs.". Here's the definitions for Transphobia: " dislike of or prejudice against transsexual or transgender people." and "Transphobia is a range of negative attitudes, feelings or actions toward transgender or transsexual people, or toward transsexuality. Transphobia can be emotional disgust, fear, violence, anger, or discomfort felt or expressed towards people who do not conform to society's gender expectation."

Here's a tweet explaining different forms of homophobia:

 

Here's a video on Transphobia:

 

And here's an article that explains some bit about acephobia: https://medium.com/@herbixarre/acephobia-allosexuality-and-what-it-means-to-be-queer-cc5b5329bfdd

 

Just because etymologically "phobia" means "fear or hatred", doesn't mean that's how it's used in new compound words (and that really goes with any compound word really). If you have a problem with the words just imagine hearing "discrimination against [insert group]" instead.

 

[GloryBax]

I'd tell them to do some research on asexuality and get back to me when they've educated themselves.

 

I'm so tired of aphobes, mam.