Gay, but confused.

[spokenthunder]

Hello,

So, I have a bit of a conundrum. I have always been attracted to men, both aesthetically and romantically. I have gone on dates with guys, which has led to perhaps arousal, kissing, cuddling. But, when it comes to actually having sex, I lose any arousal or interest, so I've never had sex.  I learned to be more up front with guys about it, and usually it led to disappointment, disinterest, or disappearance.  At the very worst, it lead to guys trying very hard to "prove me wrong", or horrific circumstances.  So, despite my feelings, I have kind of given up on dating.

I definitely am gay, but it's my asexuality that I'm unsure about. Questions begin to emerge: if I've never truly had sex, or acted upon my impulses, how do I really know I'm asexual? Am I just deceiving myself? Is it even possible to being attracted, maybe even aroused by a guy, but not feel any desire for sex? And, what does all of this even mean?

I apologize if none of this makes any sense, but I felt like this was the right place to write.  Has anyone ever felt this way before?

Thanks for listening.

[andreas1033]

I would say your a sensitive male.

 

Being asexual, i cannot really comment on why people are gay or hetero. If you understand what asexual is, how do you relate to that?

 

Only you know.

[LeChat]

Hi. It's possible to be gay (e.g., homoromantic) and asexual at the same time.

 

If you haven't already read it, perhaps you'd like to read the homoromantic guys thread to see whether their feelings and past experiences with other guys resonate with your own feelings and experiences with other guys, or you can chat and ask other homoromantic guys in the thread, too.