natural blue Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 so this is for all the aromantics/homoromantics but when i was little i knew i was supposed to crush on guys. so the thing is, i'd pick out a guy and DECIDE to crush on him. like, i'd look around, and be like "hey this kid is slightly attractive, i'm gonna giggle around him because i wanna be like the other girls" so i was wondering. was this just me, or did any of you guys also do this? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 Well, I guess. In "real games" (such as: who would you rather, when I was 13) I would usually pick between the guys I knew were more popular because that's what everyone else did. I never acted like I had a crush on them, I just said their names. However, I have a diary from that age. I was playing online games, and every male I knew well became a "potential partner". I never actually said anything to them about that (good, because I didn't have any crushes on them) I just covered my diary with their names in different fonts. Honestly, that diary is embarrassing. Adding: there were like 5 at the same time, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
4108bn Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 I'm romantic (in some way or another), but I've experienced this for sure. I also projected sexual ideas onto people in similar ways (like my idea of what I thought sexual attraction even was, based on living with misogynistic, hypermasculine, shitty people) (as an awkward, autistic, asexual kid). Obviously, I've grown and learned since, but I also didn't realize that that was at all different from how other people felt. I don't remember exactly when or where, but months ago, I heard another story very similar to these. It's the first time I heard something like that from someone else, and it gave me a lot of reassurance and comfort knowing that I experienced it, too. Link to post Share on other sites
mexicanpotato Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 I did the same, my first "crush" was Louis Tomlinson and I was like "ok, let's pick this guy and tell everyone I like him because that's what girls do" Then I repated the process with other guys from school because that was what it's supposed to be "normal" Two years ago I decided to stop faking and making up crushes because that's not who I am, and I'm happy and comfortable with my decision eventhough my friends are like "But it's impossible to not have a crush, it's something you need to do, you're faking all your "i don't have a crush thing"" and I know it's hard to cope with all this comments but once I found out I was ace I was like "I don't care, this is me, thanks" and eventhough I'm still in the ace closet, eversince finding out I'm ace this comments don't affect me as they used to Link to post Share on other sites
Niamhh Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 1 hour ago, natural blue said: so this is for all the aromantics/homoromantics but when i was little i knew i was supposed to crush on guys. so the thing is, i'd pick out a guy and DECIDE to crush on him. like, i'd look around, and be like "hey this kid is slightly attractive, i'm gonna giggle around him because i wanna be like the other girls" so i was wondering. was this just me, or did any of you guys also do this? Omg I used to do this all the time 😂😂 I love finding relatable things on AVEN ~ I still do it sometimes, I don't actually know why I still have those childish insecurities I should just be like nobody in or around here floats my boat at all 😅😅 Sometimes a guy comes along who I really want to be best friends with though aaaand I suppose I'd class that as a crush? Link to post Share on other sites
iam135 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 Yeah I've definately done similar stuff a couple times before discovering aromanticism. I'd always get tired of it quite quickly though, and I've had friends tell me it was never terribly convincing anyways 😆. Link to post Share on other sites
Wednesday Addams Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 I remember when everyone my age started having crushes, and making me very confused. At the time, I thought that you just selected your crush, or that you chose the person you liked the most. I had no interest in it. In 6th grade there was this girl in my class who i did not like and had a crush on some boy in our class. I told everyone that he was my crush to piss her off on purpose, and then later said I didn't like him anymore (I was a brat sometimes). Later on in middle school I would sometimes make up imaginary crushes who happened to go to another school and conjure up some bs story when I was asked, because no one would believe me otherwise, and then they would try to figure out who it was. Most people still can't comprehend that I have not had romantic feelings for anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
ButterflyBlues Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 When we played kiss, kill, or marry I always ended up choosing the guy that I was closest too (like friendship wise). Link to post Share on other sites
natural blue Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 27 minutes ago, ButterflyBlues said: When we played kiss, kill, or marry I always ended up choosing the guy that I was closest too (like friendship wise). oh, i had a strategy for that. basically, you know how u can take half a person's money when u divorce them? therefore, marry the nerdiest kid so you get the most profit. then kiss the person you can put up with more, and kill whoevers left Link to post Share on other sites
McKayla Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 Whenever the other girls would ask who I had a crush on and didn't believe me when I said I didn't have a crush, I would just pick a boy that seemed nice. Link to post Share on other sites
NotADragon_Sadly Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 On 1/18/2019 at 4:49 PM, natural blue said: so this is for all the aromantics/homoromantics but when i was little i knew i was supposed to crush on guys. so the thing is, i'd pick out a guy and DECIDE to crush on him. like, i'd look around, and be like "hey this kid is slightly attractive, i'm gonna giggle around him because i wanna be like the other girls" so i was wondering. was this just me, or did any of you guys also do this? Omg, I literally just asked the same question when I found your forum!!!! Same!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Zhuangzi Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Yeah, I've done this many times before, especially in middle school before I knew about asexuality and aromanticism. Link to post Share on other sites
BonesNotBoning Posted February 5, 2019 Share Posted February 5, 2019 Oh man, so many times. First time I actively remember it happening was in like first grade, where my mom found a doodle I'd done and teased me about it, and I'd literally only done it because I felt like I was supposed to. It happened a couple of times up until I was fifteen or so and decided that was enough of that, but I remember giving presents, the doodling, etc to guys who I realize now I just wanted to be friends with??? Because they were halfway decent??? I may not be 100% sure now that I'm into girls, but I know that whatever I was forcing myself to do then was- oof. Distinctly not great. Link to post Share on other sites
GloomyGhost Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Yes, the first one was when I was such a little kid that I did not even understand what it was. I saw it on TV and I assumed everyone was supposed to have one. I always determined the person and then did nothing about it. I specifically remember one time when I moved and changed schools at age 7, thought "I need a new crush now", then chose who it was going to be. Some other kids at the new school told me one of the boys wanted to "give me a kiss", so that's whom I decided on. Then I proceeded to completely forget about it and hang out as friends with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 Full disclosure: I used to choose AVENites to squish on (or to 'crush' on when I was id'ing as romantic) But now that I know examples of folks who're perfectly comfortable alone, I feel no pressure to do that anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.