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How do you stay positive with all the negativity around


Gone Boy

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I think its possible to have an opinion on something without it becoming a personal thing between people. Unfortunately, there are a lot of trolls around who feel the need to bash people with their opinions. How do you stay true to your course without being negatively impacted especially as someone who does not conform to the stereotypes?

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On ‎1‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 2:14 PM, Foo Dog said:

How do you stay true to your course without being negatively impacted especially as someone who does not conform to the stereotypes?

.

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In regards to the online world, I think the most important things is to know when to step back and let go.

 

We all have our own deep-set opinions, anecdotal evidence, and hot-button issues. When something is personal to us, we want to defend it, especially when someone openly attacks or mocks it. Especially when it's a troll; we know we're in the right, that we're the one being reasonable here, that our opinion is unquestionably better than whatever strawman argument the troll is coming up with. They needle away at us, and we feel like a failure if we can't defend our personal beliefs or opinions.

 

But you have to realize that very rarely do people come to the internet to have their minds changed.

 

If someone says something you find absurd, try scrolling past it. Take some deep breaths. Laugh about it with a close friend, even. Many a time, directly challenging somebody else's belief makes you both unhappier.

 

That's not to say that it's a bad thing to debate or engage with people over controversial topics or what have you. But the second you get too worked up about converting people to your viewpoint, that's where all the negativity comes from. Work on convincing people in your regular life rather than on the internet. It's much more rewarding.

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15 minutes ago, Dreamsexual said:

use plenty of emoticons, because it's super easy to misread tone on the net

🙂👍🍰😜😁

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With great difficulty sometimes. I’ll maybe state my thoughts one more time and then I tend to walk away. It’s so easy to get drawn into an argument that escalates into a flame war that it’s best I find not to go there in the first place and just brush it off.

 

Others have given great advice already.

 

This Forum has an ignore user functionality which means you can ignore someone if you want and you won’t see anything they post.

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32 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

In regards to the online world, I think the most important things is to know when to step back and let go.

 

We all have our own deep-set opinions, anecdotal evidence, and hot-button issues. When something is personal to us, we want to defend it, especially when someone openly attacks or mocks it. Especially when it's a troll; we know we're in the right, that we're the one being reasonable here, that our opinion is unquestionably better than whatever strawman argument the troll is coming up with. They needle away at us, and we feel like a failure if we can't defend our personal beliefs or opinions.

 

But you have to realize that very rarely do people come to the internet to have their minds changed.

 

If someone says something you find absurd, try scrolling past it. Take some deep breaths. Laugh about it with a close friend, even. Many a time, directly challenging somebody else's belief makes you both unhappier.

 

That's not to say that it's a bad thing to debate or engage with people over controversial topics or what have you. But the second you get too worked up about converting people to your viewpoint, that's where all the negativity comes from. Work on convincing people in your regular life rather than on the internet. It's much more rewarding.

Well said Grimalkin. I try to not take it personally when they attack me. I just find it hard to fathom that others like us see it necessary to undercut us. It's hard enough being different than having those we are similar to find it necessary to be hurtful for whatever reason. Let go and let it be I say.

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21 minutes ago, Slice of Ace said:

🙂👍🍰😜😁

Never thought about that. I always wondered why some people use so many Emoticons. Now i know why 

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7 minutes ago, sh1965 said:

With great difficulty sometimes. I’ll maybe state my thoughts one more time and then I tend to walk away. It’s so easy to get drawn into an argument that escalates into a flame war that it’s best I find not to go there in the first place and just brush it off.

 

Others have given great advice already.

 

This Forum has an ignore user functionality which means you can ignore someone if you want and you won’t see anything they post.

I got caught out one time when I tried to infer that the person was not a nice person for attacking and they just went off at me and others joined in. it was unpleasant, to say the least. Since then I try to ignore them. I only found the ignore button on this forum today and so blocked a few people unfortunately but that's life.

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Neutral Charge

i close my eyes to all the bullshit and go " the sun is yelow, the grass is green, breath in, breath out" and try to take my mind to my grandma's empty open hills with no ppl, just pure beauty and peace :x that helps me

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1 minute ago, Foo Dog said:

Never thought about that. I always wondered why some people use so many Emoticons. Now i know why 

To expand on my emojisplosion, I never used to use emoji, but after many a misunderstanding, I thought it better to submit to the yellow decapitated heads 😂 After all, communication is all about getting a message across clearly. If I have to use emoji or emoticons to do so, so be it

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2 minutes ago, Slice of Ace said:

To expand on my emojisplosion, I never used to use emoji, but after many a misunderstanding, I thought it better to submit to the yellow decapitated heads 😂 After all, communication is all about getting a message across clearly. If I have to use emoji or emoticons to do so, so be it

I am a bit blonde unfortunately and half the time am trying to interpret what the other person is saying. My brother uses a lot of emoticons and half the time I haven't a cooking clue what he is on about.

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I stay positive by thinking about the hopeful possibilities the future might have in store.

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I do not.

 

Positive thinking is only really important if you have a future. Its important when your young.

 

So my answer, is i do not. The world is a cruel place, and the internet is a magnification 10x of that. So trolling on the net, is something to be accepted as normal, as many people enjoy cruelty, and sadistic behaviour, in many forms. The internet emboldened bully types, and made victim types life worse. If you do not appreciate this as the latter, you are going to have problems, as people can be very cruel, and sadistic, in targeting.

 

When you have a future, thats when positive thinking is important.

 

Being cynical, and negative, has seen me this far, as its a way to just accept, what you have to live with.

 

I see the internet, as a place, where people metaphorically constantly want to spit in your face. The internet, really brings that out in people, as they can post with anonymity.

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On ‎1‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 4:24 PM, andreas1033 said:

I see the internet, as a place, where people metaphorically constantly want to spit in your face. The internet, really brings that out in people, as they can post with anonymity.

.

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3 hours ago, Foo Dog said:

I think its possible to have an opinion on something without it becoming a personal thing between people. Unfortunately, there are a lot of trolls around who feel the need to bash people with their opinions. How do you stay true to your course without being negatively impacted especially as someone who does not conform to the stereotypes?

Depends on the subject...

 

But facts are always a useful way to settle disagreements

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On ‎1‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 5:22 PM, AndrewT said:

But facts are always a useful way to settle disagreements

.

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17 minutes ago, Dreamsexual said:

Facts help, but ...

It's hard enough to find data everyone agrees upon (one person's evidence is another's biased report), let alone interpretations of that data.  And it's easy to fall into confirmation bias or cherry-picking.

the good thing about facts, they don't care if you believe them or not.

But if it is opinionated stuff, if someone provides evidence and quotes one source, they can be ignored. If they quote a range of sources then their opinion should be listened too.

 

Also all opinions are not equal and shouldn't get equal time

 

If i have tooth ache i got to a dentist for his opinion, not Barry from down the road who removes his own teeth with a string and door

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Great advice from Dreamsexual, Grimalkin, sh1965, and 1 or 2 others.

 

When I feel things are getting too negative somewhere I try to look for positives even if it means looking somewhere else. Yep, "here be trolls" can certainly be true in the internet, but I have found plenty of good people, too. I think it's best to ignore the former and embrace the latter (metaphorically). I also try to look for humor (although I may keep it to myself so as not to "feed the trolls" as it were). Taking a step back as needed/warranted is often a good practice, too. And it's good to have people you can vent to a bit, as opposed to just steaming and trying to hold it in.

 

I only have control over my words and actions (to the extent I have any control :P ) and I am not responsible for other people. If someone is being too negative or unreasonable I think it's okay to stay away from them.

 

p.s. also some threads like the following are good:

 

(if you like animals)

 

And a couple of "cats" threads if you like cats, or other threads in places like the "Just for Fun" and "Celebrations" forums.

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On ‎1‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 6:03 PM, AndrewT said:

the good thing about facts, they don't care if you believe them or not.

.

 

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

I just hop on my bike and fly down the cycle path next to the river...it's impossible to feel negative after looking at all that natural beauty...and it isn't even the most beautiful place I've seen.

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I try to follow what RuPaul says, "What other people think is none of my business."

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