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Getting hit on?


Ziffler

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Now that we are older asexuals do you still get hit on by sexuals? If so are you surprised that sexuals still find you interesting? If you don't get hit on, is that what you expected as you got older and does it bother you that you might not be interesting to sexuals any longer?

When I was young, I got hit on many times from girls and a few boys and then later women and a couple men who considered me a good catch. lol. And we have many threads dealing with the sexual/asexual nature of these relationships. But what interests me is that i'm still getting hit on. I never considered that after my prime, so to speak, that sexuals would be interested in me. I thought I could outgrow them. lol.

So I thought of this thread. Especially for the younger asexuals that come here to read about our expereiences, if they think that as they get older that sexuals will loose interest in them and they can lead a non-eventful life in the relationship department. lol.

Just another thread to get us thinking.

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I always figure if some guy is hitting on me he's struck out with everyone else in the world.

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Last year i met up with someone off the 'Friends reunited' dating website. Now given that he was 65 and I am a very fat, never was pretty and have lost what few looks I had, I was totally gobsmacked that he wanted, well, you can imagine.

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I'm pretty & look 20 years younger than I am (really, I'm telling the truth) so yeah, I get hit on. It's kind of annoying if the guy is ugly, slightly amusing if he is cute.

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Yes!

Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water .... :roll:

I met a man who shared a LOT of common interests with me and has had 3 bad marriages with women who didn't like his birds/animals/menagerie, rural location, etc.

It totally freaked me out. I mean, he's a nice guy as far as I can tell, but the entire idea just scared the beejeebers out of me. He expected that I would be perfectly willing to leave my home and move out to his hundred+ acre estate and his huge custom-built home (he is very wealthy, especially by my standards) I don't think he could grasp that this is MY house on it's puny little 3 acres, and, humble or not, I value it quite a bit.

He was so obviously desperate .. I really felt sorry for him, but there was no way I wanted to become an honorary Catholic (again) as well as an instant mom to a bunch of grown kids. *shudders to remember*

However, I decided that it was a really good time to openly talk about being asexual and, strangely enough, he left.

I haven't heard from him since.

At my age, I am of no interest whatsoever for most men, but the older divorced or widowed ones are still a threat, I guess.

*hides*

-GB

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That's actually one of the things that makes me not even want to have a relationship. Pretty much anyone my age is already toting two kids and pending grandkids.

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Of course all women will suddenly drop everything, disrupt their life, move out to God knows where, to happily be of service to any man who notices them... Reminds me of the guy who asked me to marry him and move to a trailer park in Alabama, 1 week after meeting me... he could not figure out why I didn't jump for joy when he asked me to quit my job, quit college, dump all my friends & family, just to be with him in a trailer park in Alabama, "And you're gonna do what you're told and stay home and have babies!" That's right, I'd be over-joyed to do what I was told and have his babies in a trailer park in rural Alabama.... Oh boy, the excitement and anticipation! After much thought, (yeah, right) I said, "Gary, I'm sorry, but I'm just not good enough to be the kind of wife you want." "Don't be ridiculous! You're fine! Now just marry me!" "I'm not really what you want in a wife, Gary. Anyway, I wanna finish college first." "No wife a mine gonna go to no college!" So college was a good excuse to get rid of him. I could not qualify as a wife for Gary -- after all -- I already knew how to read. And I'm not attracted to Neanderthals.

(Warning to readers -- thylacines are sarcastic little beasts.)

The above story is in fact, true. Even though it is written with a small amount of vicious humor... ah the wonderful memories... too bad the word "asexual" did not have any meaning then. It would have scared him off a lot quicker, huh?

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GB, know what you mean about how they take flight when you tell them you're asexual.. I had a similar reaction (for which I was incredibly grateful).

Thyl, I picked myself up off the floor after about ten mins, breathing was difficult I was laughing so much! Thanks, i needed that. :lol: :lol:

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GB, know what you mean about how they take flight when you tell them you're asexual.. I had a similar reaction (for which I was incredibly grateful).

Thyl, I picked myself up off the floor after about ten mins, breathing was difficult I was laughing so much! Thanks, i needed that. :lol: :lol:

Now what if they still are interested after you tell them you're asexual? I let them know we could be platonic friends and if that is acceptable to them, I think they'll make good friends, no? :)

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GB, know what you mean about how they take flight when you tell them you're asexual.. I had a similar reaction (for which I was incredibly grateful).

Thyl, I picked myself up off the floor after about ten mins, breathing was difficult I was laughing so much! Thanks, i needed that. :lol: :lol:

Now what if they still are interested after you tell them you're asexual? I let them know we could be platonic friends and if that is acceptable to them, I think they'll make good friends, no? :)

They might make good friends, or they might think you will change your mind if they are patient. Some people only hear what they want to hear.

The only way to find out is to ... find out! :D

-GB

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GB, know what you mean about how they take flight when you tell them you're asexual.. I had a similar reaction (for which I was incredibly grateful).

Thyl, I picked myself up off the floor after about ten mins, breathing was difficult I was laughing so much! Thanks, i needed that. :lol: :lol:

Now what if they still are interested after you tell them you're asexual? I let them know we could be platonic friends and if that is acceptable to them, I think they'll make good friends, no? :)

They might make good friends, or they might think you will change your mind if they are patient. Some people only hear what they want to hear.

The only way to find out is to ... find out! :D

-GB

Those are very good points, GB. Amen. :D

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Small,ill behaved children drive me nuts.

So guess what types hit on me? Single mothers, with small, ill behaved children. I just tell them I'm married to my business, and don't have time.

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Re: Platonic Friends... Sadly, I have discovered that most men are not interested in intelligent conversation. They are interested in things that we are by our nature NOT interested in... "Hi. I'm asexual." "Hi. I'm outta here!"

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I've found that some are interested in intellectual conversation but they're also counting on the sexual part.

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I get hit on a lot, but I look a lot younger than I am and am apparently quite attractive. In fact, I get hit on by younger guys a lot.

I usually just act friendly. If they get persistant, I just tell them I'm not interested.

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I do seem to have more women friends than men friends. Perhaps it's because I am currently renting a room from my ex-wife of 30 years, and some of the women are friends that we shared in common while married.

Men friends, I have very few living nearby. Many have died or moved for away. I have had two 'girl friends' sence the divorce, but both finally married.

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  • 1 month later...

I'm not that surprised I get hit on still. I act overly shy around men, I hate that, I don't want to deal with rejected feelings when I tell them that I don't date. I assume the men I do met are sexual that's where the discomfort comes in.

Diane

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I've really put my response in another thread when Aeriel said that no-one is going to hit on a 57 year old woman - oh yes they are!!!

A friend of mine (long, long time married and she is really more my friend) was trying to hit on me (49 but looking younger and apparently attractive), so I thought I would put him off the scent by telling him I am a-. A couple of weeks later when the sexual innuendo was still going on, I reminded him of what I'd told him, and he said "oh, I forgot". How convenient is that?!! It seems some sexual guys never give up, but I have got very bored with it all, and try to not see him alone. Of course, when his wife is there is he not at all like that. I HATE being viewed as a piece of eye candy, and if it is because I wear short shorts, then I as hell am still going to go on wearing what I like, because I darn well will!!

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Heck, when guys act like that, I feel like I wanna wear a burka!

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