MiraMeyneth Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 So, I consider myself aro/ace, but there are times where i wonder if I really am. I do develop platonic, sensual and aesthetic attraction to people; while it doesn't happen often, when it does it hits hard. I consider them squishes simply because I never saw myself in a romantic relationship, just having an emotional connection, just like two platonic partners. With this kind of attraction, I'd daydream about getting to meet them in real life, and they just couldn't get out of my head. It was just as powerful as a supposed crush, but felt intrinsically different. That squish is long gone though, after the person in question said some slightly ignorant things, along with me realizing we wouldn't be compatible at all. All of the feelings, the inevitable pain felt after I flubbed the frendship; it was so powerful it took me nearly a few months to recover and even now I still feel the aftereffects. Do any other aros experience platonic attraction like this? I still firmly believe it's platonic attraction, but i'm curious if anybody else has experienced it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Yes, it happened like that a few years ago. She was a hippie chick, which couldn't have been further from my type but it worked for a little while and then the inevitable explosion happened and she disappeared. I still think about how great it was to just sit and talk to her. Man it still gets me and its been nearly 7 years. It was one of those things where two people understand each other without words yet still could talk all night. Link to post Share on other sites
Barbio Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 That OP is my "romantic" life in a nutshell, tbh. (Only replace some of those "people" with fictional characters, and then you're 100% spot-on) Link to post Share on other sites
MiraMeyneth Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 Getting squishes on fictional characters is a big mood. I've had one nearly for two years now and it's not stopping soon 😓 Not that i'm complaining at all, because sometimes it's one of the few things that keeps me going lol Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 No but I do assume that when someone desires a personal partnership (whether that be romantic or platonic), the story is quite similar in terms of the preliminary longing for closeness and the heartbreak after the fact. I figure this is so because personal partnerships require a great deal of trust and emotional reliance. Removing that person is bound to create some time period of instability. Link to post Share on other sites
anzu2snow Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 Platonic attraction is the strongest attraction I feel. I'm also aro ace. I've had quite a few squishes. I was tricked into a romantic relationship, but felt very attracted to him platonically and emotionally. The romantic/sexual part of it felt suffocating. When he broke up with me (after 2 years), I felt devastated. Took me a long time to get over it. Later, it was a bit confusing when I realized I was aro ace. I had heard many aro aces are happy when their romantic relationships end. Why did I feel the way I did, then? I later realized I still want a life partner, and thought (still think) that a queerplatonic relationship would be perfect. He probably would not have gone for that, though. Link to post Share on other sites
blueheroness Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Yes, although I was super confused about what I was feeling. I remember thinking super hard about it when I had the biggest squish on a guy. I remember thinking "I want to keep him but I don't know in what way". I just knew I liked being around him and connecting with him but I knew that a real romantic relationship wouldn't work. I just didn't know about being aro/Ace. I wanted to keep being his friends and keep doing the fun things we did. But I also felt like he wanted the next step to be dating. And I kept avoiding that but I didn't want to avoid him. So it was super frustrating because we both knew I was attracted to him.. But we both knew it wasn't enough for a romantic relationship. And I think his friends thought I was leading him on. But I honestly had no clue what I was feeling or doing. I just didn't want to lose our friendship and I didn't want it to end. Link to post Share on other sites
m1101 Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 i’ve definitely felt that before. i used to think i couldn’t be aromantic because i’d been in love, but now that i know more about what “romantic” means, i know it wasn’t love in that sense because i didn’t want a romantic relationship. i wanted to be really close friends, and to be around the other person a lot and get to know them and all that. so i guess it was platonic love, but different than the love i have for friends or family. does anyone know if there’s a word for people who have a drive to pursue relationships like that, in the way that romantic people have a drive to pursue romantic relationships? i’m sure not all aromantics want to form a close platonic bond with someone, so “aromantic” isn’t specific enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Yeah, I know it well. A squish is basically a crush minus romance/sexual feelings. 1 hour ago, m1101 said: does anyone know if there’s a word for people who have a drive to pursue relationships like that, in the way that romantic people have a drive to pursue romantic relationships? i’m sure not all aromantics want to form a close platonic bond with someone, so “aromantic” isn’t specific enough. 'Queerplatonic' relationships exist, so why not queerplatonic people? http://aromantic.wikia.com/wiki/Queerplatonic Link to post Share on other sites
m1101 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 On 1/27/2019 at 8:16 PM, Fluffy Femme Guy said: 'Queerplatonic' relationships exist, so why not queerplatonic people? yeah, that's true. if people who want romantic relationships are romantic, then people who want queerplatonic relationships should be queerplatonic. it sounds weird to use that for a person, but it ought to make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
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