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Impartiality


James121

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I haven't noticed any bias in the moderation, or any attempt to block conversations that were polite.  Was there some incident I'm not aware of where a moderator tried to bias an otherwise polite conversation?

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Tasha the demi squirrel
34 minutes ago, uhtred said:

I haven't noticed any bias in the moderation, or any attempt to block conversations that were polite.  Was there some incident I'm not aware of where a moderator tried to bias an otherwise polite conversation?

I've not noticed a bias either 

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SPFA used to be moderated by AshenPhoenix, who I believe is sexual. I think it's great to have diversity in perspectives on the moderating team, and I get the impression that the moderating team generally agrees with that. 

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Tasha the demi squirrel
5 minutes ago, Snao Cone said:

it's great to have diversity

Definitely true

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2 hours ago, James121 said:

...Well take a look at the thread “I knew I was asexual when”.

It is lost after post of people knowing when they were young. It completely supports what I was saying and what you were all shouting me down about.

I've read that thread. The thing is, it's not completely representative of all asexuals or even most asexuals because not all asexuals in the world are on AVEN (it's a small amount, compared to researchers' estimation of possibly being around 1% or 74 million asexuals around the world); some asexuals on the forum might've chosen not to reply to that thread; some asexuals listed when they first felt a slight hunch (but weren't able to completely feel confident that they were asexual to themselves or confirm it, due to asexuality not being taught in their schools at the time; due to being a kid and feeling confused--like other kids of all sexual orientations--uneducated about sexual orientations and that there might be other explanations of their lack of sexual attraction, such as entering puberty later than other peers, etc.)

 

I'm sorry for sexuals who found out their partner was asexual, after so many years; however, it's not fair for them to take their anger or judgements and assumptions out on all asexuals because of it. Some of us have already experienced couples arguing and deciding to unfairly make unfair judgements and accusations about groups of people, according to gender, etc., just because they're mad at their spouse or ex, and are aware that misplacing their pain and anger towards entire groups isn't right.

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24 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

I've read that thread. The thing is, it's not completely representative of all asexuals or even most asexuals because not all asexuals in the world are on AVEN

I absolutely understand this but surely you can see my point. Coincidentally a large percentage of the people who have commented have made it clear they knew or suspected very early in life. Are we saying that aven asexuals are not representative of the asexual community?

 

24 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Some asexuals on the forum might've chosen not to reply to that thread;

I understand this too. Which of course also means that many more who share that same experience may not have commented and thus the divide could be even larger than I had believed.

 

24 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

I'm sorry for sexuals who found out their partner was asexual, after so many years; however, it's not fair for them to take their anger or judgements and assumptions out on all asexuals because of it. 

I agree. I certainly don’t have anger for all asexuals. I am however annoyed at the ones who appear to have married someone when they knew or suspected. 

 

When i I post I tend to upset some people. It isn’t intentional but sometimes I believe a different perspective has to be heard purely in the interest of fairness.

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Tasha the demi squirrel

I'm not sure if I have read that thread or not however I know there's no set age for figuring out orientation especially since as @InquisitivePhilosopher said Asexuality (and anything other than hetrosexual) isn't taught about in schools and people can't control when they will hear a term they can identify with......if we could I would have known way before 27 

 

49 minutes ago, James121 said:

I certainly don’t have anger for all asexuals. I am however annoyed at the ones who appear to have married someone when they knew or suspected. 

They may not have known or suspected though which is important to consider it's never helpful to generalise and assume a whole group of people all act the same

 

49 minutes ago, James121 said:

When I post I tend to upset some people. It isn’t intentional but sometimes I believe a different perspective has to be heard purely in the interest of fairness.

In all fairness it is the way the different perspectives are phrased that will be the difference between people listening vs people getting offended for example if a Christian (like myself) simply says I believe in God but respect people's right to believe in what they believe in but another Christian tries to push others to believe the same as them claiming they'll "go to hell" if they don't who do you think people are more likely to be offended by? It's obvious which one is more offensive which is why I get annoyed when people assume all Christians are judgemental but can't exactly blame them since unfortunately those who are tend to be more vocal about it than those of us who don't judge 

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as others have said, there are sexuals who are on the moderators too. they are there to consult and we have threads in our section for where we can post issues as they arise. for all warnings, it is by vote of the moderators.

 

i see my role as moderator of SPFA as being more an observer than active participant in the discussions. i will add posts to the conversation and replies to the threads if i have something to add but mostly i am watching SPFA, monitoring and reading the posts made. I think this helps in terms of neutrality that i am not usually participator in the discussions and not taking sides in the arguments as they break out.i'm reading and looking over the posts but keeping a distance from joining arguments.  (it's like ireland's role on the un peacekeeping forces)

 

I tend not to participate to maintain a neutrality for issues arising.

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8 minutes ago, iff said:

 for all warnings, it is by vote of the moderators.

 

Unless you guys voted to remove solo modding since I quit, that isnt correct. A solo moderator can issue a warning without a vote, they just need to post it and wait the time period needed in case the team wants to attempt a block in the case of a very unfair warning. 

 

Just most moderators do not opt to solo mod. 

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2 minutes ago, Serran said:

Unless you guys voted to remove solo modding since I quit, that isnt correct. A solo moderator can issue a warning without a vote, they just need to post it and wait the time period needed in case the team wants to attempt a block in the case of a very unfair warning. 

 

Just most moderators do not opt to solo mod. 

i meant in relation to the forums i mod, which i haven't opted to solo mod

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3 hours ago, James121 said:

I absolutely understand this but surely you can see my point. Coincidentally a large percentage of the people who have commented have made it clear they knew or suspected very early in life. Are we saying that aven asexuals are not representative of the asexual community?

 

And there are also plenty who commented in that thread who later realised they were sexual because they either identified as ace far too young (before their natural desire developed) or they got more relationship experience like me and Serran, which made us realise we actually can desire mutually pleasurable sex. And we're certainly not the only people who have commented in that thread over the years who experienced that.

 

And again, plenty of gay people know they are gay from a young age. But there are also those who go for years or even decades thinking they're hetero without even realising something is missing. It's not until they finally have gay sex with the right person that they realise they were gay all along. It's exactly the same for some aces in that they can think they're hetero for years or decades without ever understanding how much is missing from sex for them. But I explained this in so much detail in the other thread and it just went over your head every time Y_Y

 

It's your dismissal of long-term unidentified aces, and of people who thought they were ace but weren't, that everyone is upset about. You literally refuse to acknowledge the validity of people who just didn't know, or who thought they knew but were wrong.

 

If myself or Serran or Ceebs took your advice and had sworn off sexual relationships we never would have found out we weren't asexual at all. But we were still honest about our perceived asexuality and our confusion, and so are the vast majority of other asexuals once they realise they're different. But not everyone realises that straight away. It took me a 5 year long relationship of unhappy, very painful, undesired sex before I realised I was possibly asexual. Then another 6 years before I finally found out I wasn't actually ace at all. You though deny everyone who goes through experiences like that on their journey of understanding themselves and it's that which everyone finds so aggravating. This isn't like believing in Jesus or not, you're denying the actual experience of real people who are trying to explain their sexual journeys to you.

 

It's just not that black and white, no matter how much you seem to wish it would be.

 

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1 hour ago, Serran said:

Just most moderators do not opt to solo mod. 

Ok, I know that I could solo mod the forums I have. But I want to share opinion through the team, and  by having a team decision/discussion. It feels better. I generally don't like to wield power, and I rather keep it to the most severe cases that would need immediate action.  

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2 minutes ago, Phoenix the II said:

Ok, I know that I could solo mod the forums I have. But I want to share opinion through the team, and  by having a team decision/discussion. It feels better. I generally don't like to wield power, and I rather keep it to the most severe cases that would need immediate action.  

Wasnt criticizing non-solos, just mods often forget its a thing when replying to users. So, it gives the impression all warnings ever are a team decision, when its a mod-by-mod basis. 

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1 minute ago, Serran said:

Wasnt criticizing non-solos, just mods often forget its a thing when replying to users. So, it gives the impression all warnings ever are a team decision, when its a mod-by-mod basis. 

Oh no, no criticism taken, Just sharing my thoughts :)

 

But, for the 3 months I've been in the backroom... There's been afaik no warnings that haven't gone through discussion/voting first.

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Just now, Phoenix the II said:

Oh no, no criticism taken, Just sharing my thoughts :)

 

But, for the 3 months I've been in the backroom... There's been afaik no warnings that haven't gone through discussion/voting first.

Last moderator I know of that was solo was Lia and she is now admin, so probably not. 

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I don't know if anyone solo mods these days. I don't and wouldn't want to, especially not in Hot Box. I prefer to get input from the admod team, many of whom have a good amount of experience to draw from, not to mention different perspectives. Just because a particular mod's name is on a message that doesn't necessarily mean they made a decision without consulting, especially in the case of warnings and nudges and other disciplinary measures.

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10 hours ago, James121 said:

That must be very hard!

I doubt that.  From reading the Declassified threads, mods almost uniformly (they are human, after all...) consider each case with AVEN's principles and the ToS in mind,  not their own likes or dislikes.  

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1 minute ago, Sally said:

I doubt that.  From reading the Declassified threads, mods almost uniformly (they are human, after all...) consider each case with AVEN's principles and the ToS in mind,  not their own likes or dislikes.  

Hmm 🤔 

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12 minutes ago, James121 said:

Hmm 🤔 

In fact, when they feel that they are invested too much in the issue (for whatever reason), mods tend to recuse themselves from any voting.

 

But re your wondering if you could be elected a mod, James, from observing elections on AVEN for 10+ years, my memory tells me that those candidates who had made it clear in their posts pre-candidacy or their campaign posts that they were running for mod because they wanted to change things, or they wanted to redress some perceived unfairness, did NOT win.  Because people understood what they were doing. 

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1 minute ago, Sally said:

In fact, when they feel that they are invested too much in the issue (for whatever reason), mods tend to recuse themselves from any voting.

 

But re your wondering if you could be elected a mod, James, from observing elections on AVEN for 10+ years, my memory tells me that those candidates who had made it clear in their posts pre-candidacy or their campaign posts that they were running for mod because they wanted to change things, or they wanted to redress some perceived unfairness did NOT win.  Because people understood what they were doing. 

I’m not sure I would want to be a mod in all honesty. I could think of others who would make a good mod though.

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22 minutes ago, Sally said:

 

10 hours ago, James121 said:

That must be very hard!

I doubt that.  From reading the Declassified threads, mods almost uniformly (they are human, after all...) consider each case with AVEN's principles and the ToS in mind,  not their own likes or dislikes.  

 

Yeah, it really isn't that difficult if you don't let your own biases and past experiences drastically influence everything you do, James. :rolleyes: 

 

(You've got mail again btw, Sally. :P)

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27 minutes ago, Sally said:

I doubt that.  From reading the Declassified threads, mods almost uniformly (they are human, after all...) consider each case with AVEN's principles and the ToS in mind,  not their own likes or dislikes.  

26 minutes ago, James121 said:

Hmm 🤔 

 

In addition to mods having various sexual orientations, some are transgender and also are different ages, with different political beliefs, experiences, etc. They were elected by members of the forum.

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Just now, Ceebs. said:

Yeah, it really isn't that difficult if you don't let your own biases and past experiences drastically influence everything you do, James. :rolleyes: 

 

(You've got mail again btw, Sally. :P)

I thought you didn’t want to engage me ceebs. I’m confused. You literally just said on another thread that you like to keep our communication to a minimum.

Sally - you do have mail. It’s called a reply.

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2 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

In addition to mods having various sexual orientations, some are transgender and also are different ages, with different political beliefs, experiences, etc.

That’s excellent. A real mixed bag then

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3 minutes ago, James121 said:

I thought you didn’t want to engage me ceebs. I’m confused. You literally just said on another thread that you like to keep our communication to a minimum.

Sally - you do have mail. It’s called a reply.

I'd prefer not to... yet here you are, making it difficult not to reply to your nonsense.

 

More importantly though tbh, no need to be a smartass to Sally. Grow up.

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Just now, Ceebs. said:

I'd prefer not to... yet here you are, making it difficult not to reply to your nonsense.

 

More importantly though tbh, no need to be a smartass to Sally. Grow up.

I wouldn’t have had it not have been the smarty pants comment that led me to mention Sally. 

 

You prefer not to but here you are indeed. It’s like you’re infatuated with me. Is this love?

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Ok James, seriously. Stop. I'm not even interested in joking around with you. No I'm not infatuated, quite the opposite.

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Please do not make personal attacks towards other members

 

iff,

moderator, sexual partners, friends & allies 

 

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Nobody's taking my third place spot in AVEN members Ceebs loves the most. 

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