beaneating Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 So I am probably repeating the topic of many posts here and if it sounds likea broken record I apologise. I am looking for assistance, opinioms and ideas in regard to improving my relationship with my now wife. We have been together for almost 8 years now and what in the beginning seemed trivial now seems rather more life or death. Essentially when we began our relationship we had very little sex. I was hurt from a previous relationship and so the time and pacience was welcome for both of us. However as time has moved on oir sex life remains a disparate wasteland. My wife it transpired is asexual. As a couple we looked at ways of "spicing things up" and irregularly had sex at my own insistance. It should be clear that, the obvious sexual frsutration aside, I love my wife. I have always said that any problem we have we can work through, and there have been many. The only issue we have never been able to deal with is in the bedroom. We have always worked well as a couple, and an open relationship is not on the table. Unfortunately ad with many things that which is put aside eventually comes back bigger and badde than before. The empty sex life we have is now a millstone for me and something which needs to be addressed. Any advice on how this situation may be overcoms is very welcome. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 If you've communicated openly and honestly and thoroughly, and are unable to reach a compromise that's comfortable for and readily acceptable to both of you, the truth is that it may not be something that can be overcome. Sometimes mixed relationships ultimately just don't work no matter how badly you might wish them to. Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamsexual Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 . Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 5 hours ago, beaneating said: My wife it transpired is asexual. As a couple we looked at ways of "spicing things up" and irregularly had sex at my own insistance. It should be clear that, the obvious sexual frsutration aside, I love my wife. I have always said that any problem we have we can work through, and there have been many. The only issue we have never been able to deal with is in the bedroom. Can I ask why you went forward with marriage if you knew your wife was asexual? This is a very difficult scenario to overcome and I sympathise with you. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 @beaneating Welcome to AVEN! I've never had or desired either sex or a relationship, so I can't give you any experience-based advice. However, two pieces of advice that I've read were to have a sex schedule and get one of those packs of cards with romantic and sexual acts on them, keeping the ones you both feel comfortable with, and picking them at random on the day. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Wanderer Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 Ive been in your wife's position. It's no fun from that side either knowing what the other wants is something your uncomfortable supplying Is she willing to compromise and do the deed every so often. Sometimes knowing when it's coming can make it easier for aces to prepare... But conversely it can become a thing to dread... Link to post Share on other sites
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