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Is it ok be be asexual and still masturbate?


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Masturbation is completely natural - it's totes okay. It can do a lot beyond just serving as an outlet for sexual gratification, and I think a lot of ace people still find themselves masturbating even though they have no desire for sex with another individual/never experience sexual attraction/whatever the running definition of "asexual" is, these days. =D

 

Also remember - labels are useful, but don't let them constrain you. Unsure if this is the case, but don't feel guilty or poorly or somehow like you're a fraud for identifying as ace and also wanting to masturbate.

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firewallflower

In a word: Yes.

 

Of course, as with anything, there's going to be disagreement/controversy in the wider world. At least going by the definition of asexuality adopted by AVEN, however, whether or not you masturbate and/or experience sexual arousal is a separate question from your a/sexual orientation. According to this definition (see https://www.asexuality.org/?q=overview.html):

 

Quote

An asexual person is a person who does not experience sexual attraction.

Sweet and simple. Drop the mic.

 

... *picks up the mic again because I have a little bit more to say* :P

 

Sexual attraction to other people and physical arousal (AKA libido), while often interrelated, can also be differentiated—plus, some people masturbate for plenty of other reasons, even without really being aroused in the first place. Just as there are sexual people who don't masturbate, there are also asexual people who do masturbate. Regardless, it's definitely "okay," and doesn't invalidate whether or not one experiences sexual attraction—which is after all, at its core, the aspect which defines one's a/sexuality, tricky as definitions can be. :)

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no-longer-in-use

Yep! You can have a libido and masturbate and still be asexual, just as long as you don't want to partake in sex with other people, i.e. experience sexual attraction.

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2 minutes ago, Vincent Van Schmo said:

Nope.  You're fired.  Leave your gun and badge on Snao's desk.

I highly doubt Snao wants to be the masturbation police.

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3 hours ago, Let_them_eat_cake said:

Depends on what you masturbate to.

... is that an inappropriate question or just a jokey throwaway statement?

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4 hours ago, Let_them_eat_cake said:

Depends on what you masturbate to.

No, it doesn't. Being asexual is about a desire for partnered sex which masturbation distinctly is not.

 

Quote

Collective Identity Model, an asexual is one who identifies as asexual
This is a model of asexual identity put forth by David Jay. Rather than trying to define a common sexual classification for all asexual people, this model frames asexuality in terms of collective identity. Asexual people have something in common because they have all chosen to actively disidentify with sexuality, a socially dominant framework for thinking about everything from pleasure to attractiveness to intimacy.

Under this model an asexual person is anyone who uses the term "asexual" to describe themselves. The label can only be applied internally, no one has the power to create a set of criteria which determine who "is" and "is not" asexual. The desire to identify as asexual comes from occupying a particular social position relative to culturally dominant ideas about sexuality. This common social position is the one thing which unifies all asexual people.
http://wiki.asexuality.org/Collective_identity_model 

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Masturbation
Masturbation is not exclusively an act of sexuals. Many asexuals, although lacking in sexual attraction, do masturbate. Asexuals that do engage in masturbation are generally motivated to do so for physical/physiological reasons (libido) and may consider it to be a bodily activity unconnected with sex.
http://wiki.asexuality.org/Masturbation 

 

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7 hours ago, Let_them_eat_cake said:

Depends on what you masturbate to.

I mean I guess technically there are things people ought not masturbate to (yknow, like... Child porn), but that makes it universally not ok, not just asexual not okay. =]

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10 hours ago, Let_them_eat_cake said:

Depends on what you masturbate to.

Care to clarify? Some asexuals do get off porn just because it's quicker to relieve libido.

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Winged Whisperer
10 hours ago, Coddiwomple said:

Yep! You can have a libido and masturbate and still be asexual, just as long as you don't want to partake in sex with other people, i.e. experience sexual attraction. 

I'll go one step further, it's totally ok for someone identifying as asexual to want to partake in sex with other people. Woot woot! There's no need for someone to go against their nature to appease a label they have. Perhaps they're not actually asexual! That's ok too. If you want to masturbate, cool. If you want to not have sex, cool. If you want to have sex one day, that's also cool. Asexual just means not wanting to have sex because of a lack of sexual desire, and there's nothing sacred about it. It's a label to quickly communicate emotional states and preferences.

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5 hours ago, Phoenix the II said:

No, I do... Not often... 

 

But, I'll do it somewhere, alone. I'm not really proud of it either... But meh... 

It's totally okay to masturbate, there's absolutely nothing shameful about it.

 

If it's any consolation, even animals masturbate - the desire for release isn't a strictly human affliction, and it's natural to have it and to do it and still not want sex.

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everywhere and nowhere
13 hours ago, Chimeric said:

It's totally okay to masturbate, there's absolutely nothing shameful about it.

Still, it's also okay to not like pleasuring oneself.

I do pleasure myself, but I'll keep defending the dignity of those who don't and even their existence is usually being outright denied...

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2 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

Still, it's also okay to not like pleasuring oneself.

I do pleasure myself, but I'll keep defending the dignity of those who don't and even their existence is usually being outright denied...

Of course.. saying that doing a thing is not shameful gives no opinion on not doing the thing.

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1 hour ago, œddy said:
3 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:
17 hours ago, Chimeric said:

It's totally okay to masturbate, there's absolutely nothing shameful about it.

 

If it's any consolation, even animals masturbate - the desire for release isn't a strictly human affliction, and it's natural to have it and to do it and still not want sex.

Still, it's also okay to not like pleasuring oneself.

I do pleasure myself, but I'll keep defending the dignity of those who don't and even their existence is usually being outright denied...

Of course.. saying that doing a thing is not shameful gives no opinion on not doing the thing.

Nowhere Girl - thank you for the support

 

(letter I cannot type)ddy

"sex positive" people do in fact shame people, they say that I need to do it to be healthy and not doing it is evidence of a mental illness/some serious problem.

I actually lived with someone who was putting hard pressure on me to both have sex with him and to masturbate both of which were seriously hurtful to me.

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4 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

Still, it's also okay to not like pleasuring oneself.

I do pleasure myself, but I'll keep defending the dignity of those who don't and even their existence is usually being outright denied...

Of course! I in no way meant to insinuate that not doing it is somehow shameful; either way is absolutely fine. =]

 

34 minutes ago, MakeLoveNotWar said:

"sex positive" people do in fact shame people, they say that I need to do it to be healthy and not doing it is evidence of a mental illness/some serious problem.

I actually lived with someone who was putting hard pressure on me to both have sex with him and to masturbate both of which were seriously hurtful to me.

I'd argue that this isn't a "sex positive" person so much as a "sex crazed" person. I'm sorry you had to go through this; he sounds like he was putting you in a toxic situation. Nobody ought to be so invested in somebody else's sexual health, imo.

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