silverskyfullofstars

Asexuality and NLD

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silverskyfullofstars

Hello!

 

I am 16 years old and have identified as asexual for over a year now, but when reading a book about a learning disability I have, I came across something that made me doubt myself a bit. In the book NLD from the Inside Out by Michael Brian Murphy (which otherwise is great, don't think it's a bad book just because of this!), there is a section that talks about how people with Nonverbal Learning Disabilities mature emotionally at a different rate than neurotypical people - if I remember the values correctly, at about 75% the "normal" rate. If I'm not at the emotional maturity level of a neurotypical 16-year-old, is there a possibility that I incorrectly identify as asexual because I haven't reached the point at which most people would begin to experience sexual attraction?

 

I know this might be a little irrational, but I'm unsure and I'd appreciate an outside perspective.

 

Minor update: To anyone who offered advice about my NLD, I'm aware that I have it and so are my parents and my therapist. My mom recommended the book, which is written by a man with NLD, just as a way to inform myself about my learning disability. No issues there! :)

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Chimeric

It isn't irrational. 😃

 

16 for some people - NLD or no - may still be too early to have developed an interest in sex or sexual attraction. It's possible you're ace, but it's just as possible that you just haven't developed sexual interest and/or attractions yet. Either case is perfectly fine. 😃

 

If you do think you have an NLD, though, it may be worth talking to a medical professional or someone who can help guide you to a more definitive diagnosis; this will have implications for your life, and it may be helpful to know sooner than later so you can begin developing a toolkit to assist you with this sort of thing. 😃 

 

Also - welcome to AVEN! :cake:

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argar

Welcome to AVEN.

 

I remember people calling me immature when I was 6th grade I think.

 

One of the main reasons was that I was interested in all the kissing and other stuff kids where doing.

 

Heck, in eight grade I went to a dance and had to do all the confusing things that boys and girls do at a dance that I found confusing at the time.

 

This probably doesn't pertain to you at all, but I think you should do what you feel comfortable with, and don't worry about a label.

 

Worry about what feels right to you.

 

Have a beautiful night.

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StomachGod

Hello and welcome!

Chimeric has covered the advice pretty well I think.
I would just like to add that you don't have to rush to find labels to fit you, and there is nothing to stop you from identifying as asexual for now and rethinking it later in the event something does change!

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Philip027

I'm just posting to express my opinion that I think NLD is a terrible acronym for this.  Specifically, that I think it's bad to use the N to mean Nonverbal.  There's probably other sorts of Non____ Learning Disabilities that NLD could also stand for.

 

It's basically the same sort of problem we have with using MI as a postal code.  Are we talking about Minnesota, Michigan, Mississippi, or Missouri?

 

As far as actually addressing the OP's question, though, I wouldn't place too much stock in statistics and figures like this.

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TrippleL

I can’t answer your question but I can tell you my story, in case it helps.

 

I first thought I was asexual at around age 18. Decided I wasn’t, as I liked women. Fast forward 10 years, I realised I’d been a biromantic asexual all along.

 

The signs were there from early on. I remember around age 13 when other people started showing a sexual interest in the opposite sex I just wanted a girlfriend to cuddle. It’s still the same to this day, although happy with boyfriend or girlfriend to cuddle 🙂

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gisiebob

the internet does not have a degree in mental and/or physical health. is NLD caused by tenis courts? maybe, probably not, but for certain we would not be the ones to ask.

 

but the other side of the coin, sexual orientation...well it's just words. all it is is packaging up an explanation of part of how you walk through this world in a small box so that it is easy to give to others if you need to. it ain't the end of the world if you screw that up.

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MichaelTannock

Welcome to AVEN!

 

That is a possibility for everyone, I think, even late in life, so I don't have a clear answer for you.

 

I agree with @Chimeric's advice.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake,

ZWughhv.jpg

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