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Januarygirl

Having a hard day

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Januarygirl

Hi all, thought I would post over here, I suppose I am "older", I'm in my early forties. I'm just feeling sad today because I feel that since I'm not interested in sex, I'll never have a longterm male companion. I've never wanted to get married and have kids, but I see other friends my age settleing into relationships and I wonder if I'm missing out on anything. I enjoy being alone and don't know if I could handle the demands of a male/female relationship. I guess I'm thinking about how I want to plan out the second half of my life..it's confusing and seems bleak sometimes. Can anyone relate? thanks, Trudy (Januarygirl)

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Tanwen

Having been married (and divorced for the better part of 24 years) I would not want to go back to the married state. A partner is fine (or even desirable for certain situations), but I prefer to be the sole occupant of my bed. Yes, it is lonely at times, but I try to remember all the reasons why singledom is preferable.

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pinkfizzie

Januarygirl. I wish I knew how to cheer you up because then I would cheer up too. It is hard not being with someone, esp when everyone seems to be. Makes parties,weedings, New Years eve a real pain. Chin up. It couyld be worse.

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thylacine

My friend is in a real ugly divorce right now, and when she gets upset, I tell her to be happy to free and have her life back and to be out of an abusive situation. There are so many women in abusive relationships -- be happy you're not one of them.

Truthfully, each day I thank God for my freedom. I work for a divorce attorney -- I see a lot in that paperwork. I'm always glad it's not me.

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artemisbrowndeer

There is a lot to be said about living alone-I was by myself for 4 years, and once I got used to it, it was really nice. Right now, I am in a relationship, but for how much longer I don't know. All the usual issues that I didn't have to concern myself with being single are rearing their ugly heads again-sex, money, how I spend my time, etc. I am so tired of having my heart ripped out. Life was so serene during those 4 years.

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cijay

I'm actually seeing it differently. I'm seeing my friends in messy divorces and having to split time with their kids with their ex and their ex's ex. They have the dreaded 'chore' of trying to make themselves look youthful again so they can go back out on the prowl and pick up someone new 'coz heaven forbid they don't have something on their arm. I see the same ones who were not wanting to have children, then hesitant to celebrate their kids' milestone birthdays and grads because it aged THEM now facing having grandchildren and some are even raising their grandchildren.

Envious? I think not.

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Tanwen

Good points cijay. Hadn't thought of it from that angle...but you're quite right.

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thylacine

Yeah... Cijay is right. They get married, then they just get old and out of shape...

Ever read the fairy tale about the mermaid... she was immortal, and could speak to all the fish in the sea and talk to the whales, and was forever young and beautiful and happy... but if she fell in love with a mortal man she would have to become a mortal woman, and grow old and die... question... Is it worth it?

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PollyB

Yes, but I don't even WANT to be forever young, and beautiful, and out on the prowl, and (referring to Ziffler's thread) getting hit on... and phew, I'm not, I'm fifty-four, fattish and have fun in gangs of women. I also love some of my friends' children and grandchildren and being an honorary aunty, but I realise I'm not stuck with the children, they always go home again. Sorry, I know that's no help when you're sad, and surrounded by people being couples and families. They just aren't all the people, you know?

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Frannie

(((hugs))) Trudy, I can totally relate, but remember to not to go by society's yardstick, as that's all it is (who said it's right anyway?) Hope you have friends who are there for you and whom you can hang with when you mutually so desire. :)

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