Dara_Effe'

What Makes Panromantic Asexuals Tick?

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Dara_Effe'

Where are all my panromantic asexuals? I see a lot about aros, but not so much about romantics. Perhaps I'm just feeling left out. I'd like to know what you are attracted to in an individual and what does romantic mean to you? I'm just curious.

 

I'd like to meet some individuals where I'm located here in Seattle or just to chat with online. Should this be in the meet up thread instead?

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GoneForGood

I am romantic but I am still wondering exactly how to describe it. I have a personal preference for being around other women and my longest (though not that great) relationships have been with women. In looking back though two of my most pleasant relationships were both with men, without sex which was why for so long I left them out of the calculations.

 

What draws me to a person is openness and an empathetic attitude. Someone who is kind and will communicate with me.

 

Being romantic is to be with someone and take time to get close and be supportive and caring. Without the sex some people might think it is just a close friendship but I won't cuddle with friends, though I will hug and I will with someone who I am romantic with.

 

I am not at all close to you, sorry about that.

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ColeHW

Honestly I'm not sure why my brain chosen panromantic but I just like personalities and intelligence in certain topics in anyone.

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Light02

Hm, for me I always become attracted to men that are really polite and have good manners, lol. Literally, if a guy says "please, thank you, you're welcome" I'll be like "pls marry me" in my head, haha. With girls, I get crushes on them when they laugh at my jokes. 😂 I don't really know with non-binary people because I haven't met that many that I knew were nb but I will say I'm super attracted to an androgynous appearance that leans masculine.

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Bloc
Posted (edited)

Androgynous expression is definitely attractive. I also get crushes on femme and masc presenting people. However extremely femme or macho expression is a turn off for me. More important than their clothes/hairstyle/makeup are their behavior, which should show kindness, and the way people move. However I can't tell what exactly is attractive in the way one moves, I only know when I am attracted to the way someone moves.

Edited by Bloc
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Dara_Effe'
On 1/6/2019 at 6:52 PM, ColeHW said:

Honestly I'm not sure why my brain chosen panromantic but I just like personalities and intelligence in certain topics in anyone.

I am attracted to intelligence. I guess I am a sapioasexual. I just want to talk about interests. I just love learning and want to meet someone similar. I want a communicator, but also someone who understands independence. I feel like I'm asking too much in regards to my wants. 

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ColeHW
3 minutes ago, Dara_Effe' said:

 I feel like I'm asking too much in regards to my wants. 

Not at all!

All looks but no truely honorable intelligence am I right?

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TrippleL

I see myself as a biromantic asexual as I am romantically attracted to men & women. I have not yet been attracted to any other genders, so not sure if panromantic describes me or not.

 

As for what romantic attraction means to me, I’m not sure, but here is what it feels like:

 

For me romantic attraction normally starts with a crush, which makes me feel a bit tingly, like I want to spend as much time as possible with the person and produces heat in my chest around my heart. If I act on the crush I tend to fall in love, which can range from more heat and loving feelings all over to getting so wobbly I almost feel I’m in fight or flight mode! 🙂

 

It’s exactly the same for men & women, although I have a preference for women.

 

As to what attracts me in a person, kindness/gentleness/intelligence/wisdom does a lot for me 🙂

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Coddiwomple
On 1/6/2019 at 6:38 PM, Dara_Effe' said:

Where are all my panromantic asexuals? I see a lot about aros, but not so much about romantics. Perhaps I'm just feeling left out. I'd like to know what you are attracted to in an individual and what does romantic mean to you? I'm just curious.

 

I'd like to meet some individuals where I'm located here in Seattle or just to chat with online. Should this be in the meet up thread instead?

I'm a panromantic asexual. My panromantic asexual friend said something a while ago that rings true for me too: "I'm attracted to gender expression more than gender identity". I can be attracted to anyone regardless of how they identify, because I'm more attracted to people's outer appearance and personality than anything else. Gender doesn't matter to me much when it comes to attraction. That's why I identify as panromantic.

 

I will say that, in general, I am much more attracted to women and nonbinary people than to men, but my attraction to men still exists. I would say I'm about 60% attracted to women, 25% attracted to nonbinary people, and 15% attracted to men.

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AceAndAnxious |-/

romantic to me means im not attracted sexually, anything else is in the realm of that i guess basically XD

im attracted to any gender or gender identity or lack there of romantically

more attracted to woman and other identities than men tho but not by much XD 

 

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kiaroskuro

(I probably shouldn't answer here because it looks as if I'm far more aromantic than pan/bi.)

 

I used to think that I have a 'type' - different for each gender - but I realised how wrong I was. On the very rare occasions that I experienced something that resembled romantic feelings, the person had something about them that touched me. It's hard to explain.

 

In general: kind, intelligent, unconventional people. A deep emotional and intellectual bond means a lot to me; I can do without romance, I guess.

Edited by kiaroskuro
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CustardCream

I think of myself as panromantic. I have come to accept asexuality later in life than most, although I always knew I wasn't straight. As far as I am concerned, gender identification is supremely unimportant. What matters is simply finding that special bond with another person, someone to cuddle up with and share whatever intimacy works best for us both.

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Miss Who

Wait, so if you're attracted to someone romantically purely on personality, then you're panromantic? Even if you haven't liked a nonbinary person yet?

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LauraGarnham

Compatible personalities, similar (but not the same) interests, if I admire/respect them for something, if they are easy to talk to (...also on a shallower level if they are attractive). I define myself as panromantic as I can get all the things I listed in any gender. I will probably end up with a guy as I am more likely to date guys (there are more guys dating girls than girls, or any other gender, dating girls) but I honestly don't mind. 

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Miss Who
1 hour ago, LauraGarnham said:

Compatible personalities, similar (but not the same) interests, if I admire/respect them for something, if they are easy to talk to (...also on a shallower level if they are attractive). I define myself as panromantic as I can get all the things I listed in any gender. I will probably end up with a guy as I am more likely to date guys (there are more guys dating girls than girls, or any other gender, dating girls) but I honestly don't mind. 

Ah. And so I discover I too am a panromantic asexual!

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StomachGod

I have a bunch of weird preferences that determine if I like a person. But gender isn't one of them.

So I guess I am technically panromantic... but I am also Quoiromantic which throws a spanner in the works! XP

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Miss Who
2 hours ago, StomachGod said:

Quoiromantic

What's that? If you don't mind me asking. 

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CustardCream

I thought I was bisexual. Now I just think- If I'm not going to have sex with someone, just find that one special person who I truly connect with, why would their gender matter?

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StomachGod
7 minutes ago, Miss Who said:

What's that? If you don't mind me asking. 

http://wiki.asexuality.org/WTFromantic
 

It means slightly different things to different people, I mainly fit the "have emotions between platonic and romantic attraction" part, but the other descriptors do ring true to some extent for me too. I see my attraction to people I "like" as in-between truly romantic and truly platonic, which kind of makes things very difficult...

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Miss Who
Just now, StomachGod said:

http://wiki.asexuality.org/WTFromantic
 

It means slightly different things to different people, I mainly fit the "have emotions between platonic and romantic attraction" part, but the other descriptors do ring true to some extent for me too. I see my attraction to people I "like" as in-between truly romantic and truly platonic, which kind of makes things very difficult...

Thanks!

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Vee.

I'm not quite sure where I identify romantically. I don't think gender would matter for me... so maaaybee I'm pan? Thing is, as far as I can recall I think there's only one person I've "liked" as of yet. I know there's grey and demi but I don't think they count here since it seems this discussion is based about gender. I do kinda have a thing for androgynous people though, I find them interesting and feel I identify with them. I guess the term "quoiromantic" fits for me too.

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DuskFire
42 minutes ago, Vee. said:

I do kinda have a thing for androgynous people though, I find them interesting and feel I identify with them.

Me too! I feel that genderless looks are the epitome of beauty. I wish I was androgynous looking sometimes. But it's kinda difficult for a guy to look like that.

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StomachGod
2 hours ago, Lonely Leafeon said:

Me too! I feel that genderless looks are the epitome of beauty. I wish I was androgynous looking sometimes. But it's kinda difficult for a guy to look like that.

I assure you, I have met AMAB people who have managed, and are of course, super cute XP

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DuskFire
13 hours ago, StomachGod said:

I assure you, I have met AMAB people who have managed, and are of course, super cute XP

Yeah but how? Makeup? I mean it seems certain ethnicities have an easier time. Especially Asians because they naturally don't USUALLY have such a hairy dude look.

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StomachGod
3 hours ago, Lonely Leafeon said:

Yeah but how? Makeup? I mean it seems certain ethnicities have an easier time. Especially Asians because they naturally don't USUALLY have such a hairy dude look.

hair-style, make up, and practice I guess?
Various ethnicities, tho I do suspect being non-hairy would make it easier XP

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DuskFire
4 hours ago, StomachGod said:

hair-style, make up, and practice I guess?
Various ethnicities, tho I do suspect being non-hairy would make it easier XP

Yeah... 

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