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Prom


A.Medli

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So prom is in a few months. I am a senior and at my school Juniors and seniors r allowed to go to prom. Last year I didn't go because I hateeee wearing dresses but this year I kinda wanna go. I still hate dresses and definitely dancing but I don't wanna miss out this year and I think it could be fun. However... two of my friends recently started talking to some guys and might go out with them. If this lasts till prom idk what's gonna happen. Instead of going as a group like they did last year they might wanna get dates and idk where that leaves me. I wanna go this year and don't wanna be left out but idk if I'm comfortable with going with a guy, even if nothing happens afterwards. Also, I'm afraid, if I tried, I wouldn't be able to get a date. I don't think I'm someone guys swoon over and I don't wanna be the only one going without someone. What should I do?

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TheSunshineKid

I didn’t have a date to prom. What I did was go with a group with friends (and their dates if they had them) for dinner and photos. At prom I found everyone also wanted to talk to and take photos with their friends, not just their dates. So I rarely felt left out. Maybe you could do something similar? 

 

Side note: if you don’t like dresses, don’t feel pressured to wear one! People often think pantsuits are super cool. 

 

Good luck!

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I didn't have a date for prom so I went with my best friend at the time thinking "it doesn't matter, I can stick with her!" Well she ditched me for other friends so I was alone the whole time and honestly it wasn't fun. I don't want to discourage you from going - it *is* a once in a lifetime thing - buuuut just sharing what happened to me.

 

However I also don't think it would be fun if you went with a guy you weren't necessarily comfortable with. Maybe you could still hang out with your friends and their dates - they might not want to talk solely to their dates the whole time - or find some other people that don't have dates to hang with? You surely won't be the only one. Good luck whatever you decide to do!

 

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I highly doubt you would be the only person at the prom without a date. I went with a date both as a junior and as a senior, but I still spent a lot of time talking and hanging out with my friends, so even if your friends get dates, you could still hang out with them.

 

Dresses aren't an issue for me, but I can't wear heels. And even flats aren't the most comfortable after a couple hours on my feet. So senior year, I bought white Converse high tops, glued sparkly seed beads on the toes, switched the regular laces for white ribbons, and tada! Cute, comfy, if unconventional, prom shoes that matched my dress! I also wore those same shoes at graduation, but with blue (my college's color) ribbons for the laces.

 

Another thing to consider is where your prom is held and what kind of activities there will be. My high school had junior prom and senior ball. My junior prom was at some sort of event center mansion place (not sure what that building was, but it was big and fancy). There was a dessert bar with cookies and fruit and stuff and a silly photo booth, but not much to do other than dancing. My senior ball, on the other hand, was at a cool science museum, and some of the exhibits were open to us. Plus, they had a crepe bar, karaoke, and people doing caricature sketches (apparently, my class was really good at fundraising, and had raised/saved up quite a bit of money for senior ball. From what I've heard, senior ball the year before ours wasn't nearly as nice). I danced very little at my senior ball, because there were just so many other things to do! So if you can find information about that kind of thing, that might help you decide if you want to go.

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I took my best male friend to prom, because I didn't have a date, and neither did he.  He knew beforehand that I wasn't straight, and that things between us were strictly platonic.

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I never went to prom.

Way too damn expensive and petty.

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When I went to prom I didn't have a date and still had fun. I just went with my friends and only one friend had a date. The rest of us just sat at a table and ate the food. When I think back on it, there were actually quite a few people at my prom that didn't have dates, and we all just talked to one another and danced to different songs. I don't think you have to feel pressured to find a date to go though... I understand how you feel about going alone or worse maybe your friends ditch you for the guys (I hope not though! Hopefully they show you and their dates equal attention), but maybe there will be other people there without dates you could hang out with? I feel like prom is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and if you really want to go I think you should whether you have a date or not.

 

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Didn't go to the prom and I regret nothing.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I went to both proms at my high school. The second one was better than the first, but both had some pretty bad song selections in my opinion.

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My prom was pretty different so this might not apply, but I went with a friend, another girl. She was wearing pants, a shirt and a vest. there were many pairs that were made of two girls and often one or both had some kind of pant outfit instead of a dress. Some pairs had both in dresses too. It wasn't unusual. Going with a friend is 100% okay. 

My prom required you to have a pair as it was the kind of thing where we performed formal ballroom dances in front of our friends and families. After that we had a fancy dinner and I think most of my friends ditched their dance partners and we sat just our group of friends together and I suppose the guys went to find their friends. I didn't go to the afterparty so no idea what happened there, other than the stories which sound like too much alcohol.

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Janus the Fox
15 hours ago, Dreamsexual said:

I'm very glad that my UK school didn't have any sort of thing like this, it would have been just another reason for me to get bullied and destroy my self-esteem even more.

There where something similar when I was at school, school discos where a thing in the UK in 90's primary schools for what I can remember.  Had it's own issues not necessary focused taking a special someone to dance.  Probably don't do it now for Health and Safety reasons maybe.

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On ‎1‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 1:14 AM, Janus DarkFox said:

Probably don't do it now for Health and Safety reasons maybe.

.

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FatherCockrel
10 hours ago, Dreamsexual said:

I think they do it more now than ever, from what little I hear.  Loads of secondary schools have adopted the American institution of the prom, it seems.  Poor kids!

I can vouch for this, we've got our y11 prom this year after GCSEs and because I go to an all girls school most people don't have dates and are just going with friends.

Also dresses are overrated, wear whatever you want, you paid for your ticket.

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I went to prom my junior year with my best friend and had the time of my life. Going with a date seems like it would make things too complicated. Like many others have said - go with your friend group and tell them that you don't need no man! :)

If you do go, I hope you have an amazing time.

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LadyGagaIsMyGod

I'm still debating whether or not to go to my Yr11 prom. I mean I don't like dresses, but I don't really have the figure to look good in a pantsuit. Our tickets are £25 each, which I think is a bit pricey since that's only the entry price for the venue, we have to pay for all our food and drink separately.

However, If I do go, I'm definitely tagging along with a group of friends and their dates.

I know several people did that at last years prom and I know they had fun.

So I hope you don't let going alone put you off if you really want to go, It's the kinda thing you only get to do once (in the UK at least).

Good Luck

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Oh goodness, the prom... ;)

 

Personally, I did not go. However, my sister and friends all went as a group as you described your friends doing. What I remember they did was, as there were friends of both males and females, the males asked the females to go as "dates" (but weren't really dates). I even know friends of mine for my year of prom was the situation as well (male friends asked females who were friends). I even knew females who went as dates, just to go and experience it because they wanted to and couldn't find a guy to go with.  I don't know if this situation would even be applicable to your situation, but this could be something to consider if so. Because I do know that being not interested in these things or people in this way makes it the more difficult.

 

Good luck, and I hope I was helpful (even though I don't consider myself helpful with these things!) ;) .

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On 1/5/2019 at 12:57 PM, ColeHW said:

I never went to prom.

Way too damn expensive and petty.

In full agreement (even though I had no interest in the prom myself!).

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Hermit Advocate

I went to prom with my friend. We were (still are) both single and decided that we wanted to go to prom so we might as well go. It was fun, we met up with some other friends there and had a great time. I din not feel at all bad about not having a "date." I went for me and no one else. 

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In my high school it was couples ONLY so if you didn't have a partner (of the opposite gender) then bad luck you could not go. And because it was outside of school time, the school had nothing to say about it.  And the prom committee wanted things to stay traditional. 

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Hermit Advocate
18 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

In my high school it was couples ONLY so if you didn't have a partner (of the opposite gender) then bad luck you could not go. And because it was outside of school time, the school had nothing to say about it.  And the prom committee wanted things to stay traditional. 

Wow, that's just mean. 

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34 minutes ago, Hermit Advocate said:

Wow, that's just mean. 

Yeah and it somewhat changed the year after when one girl got pissed because she could not bring her girlfriend. So she fought for it, so they changde it to just couples, but still no singels. I don´t know how it is now. But everything is based around the couples with the table plasment and everything like that.

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Hermit Advocate
On 1/21/2019 at 3:52 AM, Kimmie. said:

Yeah and it somewhat changed the year after when one girl got pissed because she could not bring her girlfriend. So she fought for it, so they changde it to just couples, but still no singels. I don´t know how it is now. But everything is based around the couples with the table plasment and everything like that.

WTF? Technically, that's discrimination against single people. 

 

If that had been the rules at my school I probably wouldn't have gone, but would have gladly been my friends pretend lesbian lover just to say we were a couple to get in. 

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4 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

WTF? Technically, that's discrimination against single people. 

 

If that had been the rules at my school I probably wouldn't have gone, but would have gladly been my friends pretend lesbian lover just to say we were a couple to get in. 

I have read that some schools puts everyones names in to 2 jars and then raffle the couples. But because there often more girls signed up for it some become alone. They get 3 options bring someone from outside of school, share with someone else or not go.

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Proms... I went to my schools one in my last year because my parents insisted I had to go to one.
They allowed singles but I went "with" a friend (who everyone seemed to think I was dating).
It was alright, but not my kind of thing.

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abandoned-account
On 1/5/2019 at 11:57 AM, ColeHW said:

I never went to prom.

Way too damn expensive and petty.

Lol, wut’s a prom?

Yeah, the only thing I was interested in in highschool was making it to graduation and high-tailing it outta there.

 

I feel sorry for any folks who have been pressured by relatives/schoolmates/whatever to go had a lot of money thrown away on some dress or something.

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Life With Masks

In my country prom is not important. There might be one, but almost no one cares 😁

 

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On 1/24/2019 at 2:15 AM, Vee. said:

I feel sorry for any folks who have been pressured by relatives/schoolmates/whatever to go had a lot of money thrown away on some dress or something.

Completely correct (not like there is pressure to find someone to go with! 🙄).

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