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What do you think when people say "People can't be friends with the opposite sex"?

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cbc
Just now, Skullery Maid said:

Just trade cute pics with me. 😘😘😘 I literally have "left avian Tumblr" (sorry, love that autocorrect)... "lesbian Tumblr"... saved to my phone. 

Oh god, am I in a relationship with someone who has anything remotely pertaining to Tumblr saved to their phone?! Do we need to talk? (Please dear god no, please, there's been SO MUCH TALKING. 😅)

 

And I'm fine with that. Cute... explicit... whatever.

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Skullery Maid

Honestly lesbian Tumblr should just be pictures of lesbians talkcrying and drinking tea together. 

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cbc

Well now that they have a policy about no adult content, anyway. <_< 

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Skullery Maid

Lol I don't have safe search on my phone so google images works just fine. 

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catra

i think it’s stupid, but i can see why people’s think it i guess. one of my best friends is a boy (i’m a girl) and although i’ve never once thought about him romantically (i mean, 99% sure it’s because im gay but that’s not the point) and i’m pretty sure he doesn’t think of me that way either. almost all of my other guy friends, though, have had feelings for me, so i know why people think that opposite sexes can’t be friends. but, some people catch feelings easily (i know i sure do), and if they catch it for the opposite sex then so be it.

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cbc
9 minutes ago, Skullery Maid said:

Lol I don't have safe search on my phone so google images works just fine. 

Oh I know, I utilise it often enough.

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ryn2
16 minutes ago, CBC said:

Well now that they have a policy about no adult content, anyway. <_< 

Darn those female-presenting nipples!

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cbc
2 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

Darn those female-presenting nipples!

I'm pretty sure tumblr used to get more explicit than just nipples.

 

I mean, just a guess. Obviously. 😇

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ryn2
Just now, CBC said:

I'm pretty sure tumblr used to get more explicit than just nipples.

 

I mean, just a guess. Obviously. 😇

Oh, it did.  And does, although not like before.  That was just one of the phrases describing the newly-banned images, when they changed their ToS, that took a lot of heat and became a snarky in-joke of its own.  Lots of people drawing moustaches on their boobs and posting pictures of their “male-presenting” nipples, lol.

 

Old as I am and embarrassing as it may be, as a (on-hiatus?  retired?) fanfic author tumblr is one of my fandom homes.

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cbc

"Male-presenting nipples"... lol.

 

I don't know much about fanfic on Tumblr, I've just used it to browse photos of aesthetically pleasing things like forests and mugs of coffee and weed and cute puppies and naked girls.

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cbc

Mildly embarrassing Ceebs fun fact: I have a Tumblr account that I use to post photographs I take related to one of my vices.

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ryn2
3 minutes ago, CBC said:

Mildly embarrassing Ceebs fun fact: I have a Tumblr account that I use to post photographs I take related to one of my vices.

I mostly use my tumblr to post links to my fic, occasional reblogs of cute animals and pretty scenery, and lots of reblogs of my fandom ships and faves.  I am in no position whatsoever to judge!  😂  That and I suppose most of this qualifies as one of *my* vices too.

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ryn2

Whoops, what was the topic again?

 

*embarrassed*

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cbc
Just now, ryn2 said:

I mostly use my tumblr to post links to my fic, occasional reblogs of cute animals and pretty scenery, and lots of reblogs of my fandom ships and faves.  I am in no position whatsoever to judge!  😂  That and I suppose most of this qualifies as one of *my* vices too.

Oh, well, those things sound healthier than cigarettes, so. 

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General
1 hour ago, Snao Cone said:

Do these things not apply to romantic feelings as well? If someone said "I'm completely in love with this other person, but I'm not having sex with them so don't worry" I would imagine that their partner would be distraught over it. Complex emotions are tied into the reasons somebody would to go the lengths of offering access to their body, just like they're tied into opening up about a lot of internal thoughts and feelings. People can be emotionally used without any sex involved. Asexual people are capable of doing this kind of damage in many ways, just like sexual people.

Yes this can happen, but from the looks of things in the asexual population it's rare considering that it's comprised of many aromantics and demiromantics.  Besides that the discussion was about allosexuals seemingly not being able to control their behavior, not their attraction.  Attraction can't be controlled, and it certainly isn't considered infidelity if it's not acted upon.

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ryn2
5 minutes ago, CBC said:

Oh, well, those things sound healthier than cigarettes, so. 

As long as you have thick skin, maybe.  :)

 

Photos related your vice sound like a cool use of tumblr.

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Skullery Maid
8 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

allosexuals seemingly not being able to control their behavior

Yeah because there's never been an asexual with bad debt. You angels! 

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ryn2
19 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

the discussion was about allosexuals seemingly not being able to control their behavior

Infidelity (sexual or ace, emotional or physical) is about choosing not to control one’s behavior, not about being unable to do so.

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ryn2

(“control” in this sense meaning “restrict to what the primary partner agrees is acceptable”)

 

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IronHamster

There are two types of infidelity.   The spouse that refuses intimacy is breaking the marriage vows no less than if they were fucking the mail carrier every day.  

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ryn2
5 minutes ago, IronHamster said:

There are two types of infidelity.   The spouse that refuses intimacy is breaking the marriage vows no less than if they were fucking the mail carrier every day.  

Regardless of what comprises the marriage vows, refusing to have sex and having an extramarital affair aren’t the same thing,

 

If you subscribe to the idea of “an eye for an eye” justice you could argue that (either) one deserves the other but that still doesn’t make them both infidelity.

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Skullery Maid
1 minute ago, ryn2 said:

that still doesn’t make them both infidelity.

Agreed. Hurtful, yes, infidelity, no. Words have meaning. 

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cbc

Yeah not quite the same. Perhaps more than just hurtful... like, mindfucky and psychologically damaging... but different from infidelity.

 

Not saying one is necessarily worse, though. At first glance, an affair sounds obviously worse. Not always the case though, I don't think. Depends on the specifics of the relationship.

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humantoafault

Honestly it's rare for me to develop feelings for someone, so. I can be friends with the opposite sex easily.

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ryn2
11 minutes ago, CBC said:

Not saying one is necessarily worse, though. At first glance, an affair sounds obviously worse. Not always the case though, I don't think. Depends on the specifics of the relationship.

Yeah, not passing judgment on the degree of pain or the intent or anything... it’s just that saying both are infidelity is like saying both money-laundering and assault are theft.

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General
1 hour ago, Skullery Maid said:

Yeah because there's never been an asexual with bad debt. You angels! 

Well I personally don't have any bad debt so....👼🙏

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cbc

God I hate being blocked. So many wasted opportunities.

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Skullery Maid
4 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

Well I personally don't have any bad debt so....👼🙏

I don't care about you personally, I know many an asexual with many a vice. Though since we're on the subject... You could just leave people alone, but you're compelled to pick at the things that matter most to people for the purpose of causing strife. Imma go ahead and call that a behavior control issue. 

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ByeYall!

I'm far more comfortable around women. I've only had four friends and three were women. So yeah it can happen. I'm not as sad as I sound I hope! 😂

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General
4 minutes ago, Skullery Maid said:

I don't care about you personally, I know many an asexual with many a vice. Though since we're on the subject... You could just leave people alone, but you're compelled to pick at the things that matter most to people for the purpose of causing strife. Imma go ahead and call that a behavior control issue. 

Great.👍  Your concern for me personally isn't desired nor required.  And I don't pick on anyone or anything whatsoever.  Not sure how you arrived at that conclusion but you're incorrect.

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