Jump to content
(Creative name)

What do you think when people say "People can't be friends with the opposite sex"?

Recommended Posts

Sally
8 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

This is more of the kind of thing I’ve seen most often on the Baby Agenda... people have a sense that it they are not X by Y age they are failures.   There is a lot of general pressure in the US (not on everyone, from everyone, but it’s not rare) to get and stay on the Appropriate Life Path... and that means degree by age X, good job before Y, kids before Z, and so on.  Some of that requires a partner, and people who subscribe to that mindset feel like time is running out.

 

It’s not so much dating culture as it is “successful adulting” culture.

I've  noticed that this "do it now/soon or be a failure" seems to hit people at around age 30.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC
Just now, Telecaster68 said:
3 minutes ago, CBC said:

a photo of a couple of celebrities who are dating and being all cutesy or something.

 *vom*

Oh yeah, my reaction too. I literally never see that stuff and think "awwww".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ryn2
1 minute ago, Telecaster68 said:

Fair enough. I don't stick around long enough when it crops up to find out what it means. It's bad enough having annual targets at work, let alone in a relationship.

Yeah, it’s not that kind of thing.  It’s a couple sharing wine in a cutesy way in a hot tub, a guy who made his girlfriend breakfast in bed, two puppies cuddling, (more snarkily) a celeb who got a huuuuge engagement ring, that sort of thing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ryn2
Just now, Sally said:

I've  noticed that this "do it now/soon or be a failure" seems to hit people at around age 30.  

Yep, because there’s been a big push to reverse the “kids after 35” trend again... and if you want two kids (even one!) before 35 and are not on the relationship train by 30.... tick tock.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ryn2
2 minutes ago, CBC said:

Oh yeah, my reaction too. I literally never see that stuff and think "awwww".

Not into it either (as you can probably tell by my repeated use of “cutesy,” lol) but it’s that kind of stuff.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
General
4 minutes ago, Snao Cone said:

If it's not about romance, then why would people be broken hearted over sexual infidelity? Why would people's feelings get hurt if they're rejected? 

I've heard allos say they were heartbroken over the fact that their partner found someone else sexually attractive, and by that they were made to feel as though they weren't enough.  I've also heard them say rejection hurts because they either gave someone their body, or offered access to their body, and it was just not desirable to said person.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68

Access to their body signifies emotional intimacy. Most people would be less hurt by a meaningless drunken shag than sex with an emotional involvement.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Traveler40

It’s 2:50pm here and instead of being productive, I find myself reading you all to no actual end.  I’m waiting for the fireworks that so often come along...😂

 

Nothing much to add here as it’s all swaying in the wind, but yeah, meaningless sex would likely be less painful emotionally.  👍🏻

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
1 minute ago, Traveler40 said:

It’s 2:50pm here and instead of being productive, I find myself reading you all to no actual end.  I’m waiting for the fireworks that so often come along...😂

 

Nothing much to add here as it’s all swaying in the wind, but yeah, meaningless sex would likely be less painful emotionally.  👍🏻

I do hope you're not implying I can sometimes be deliberately provocative. Nothing could be further from the truth.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Traveler40

Yeah - I’m totally saying it outright. No implication there at all...😬 haha

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC
14 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:
30 minutes ago, Snao Cone said:

If it's not about romance, then why would people be broken hearted over sexual infidelity? Why would people's feelings get hurt if they're rejected? 

I've heard allos say they were heartbroken over the fact that their partner found someone else sexually attractive, and by that they were made to feel as though they weren't enough.  I've also heard them say rejection hurts because they either gave someone their body, or offered access to their body, and it was just not desirable to said person.

Because sexual faithfulness in a relationship is predicated upon emotional connection and commitment to that relationship. It makes you feel really icky to think about your partner sharing that experience with another person.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
1 minute ago, Traveler40 said:

Yeah - I’m totally saying it outright. No implication there at all...😬 haha

giphy.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Traveler40

I find myself mimicking that motion.  More graphically 🤮

 

I have to say though, you held your own against what seemed like 50 females the other day. Not bad.  I’d have thrown in the towel as it was a losing battle.  You simply didn’t know it.

 

Edit: 😁 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
3 minutes ago, Traveler40 said:

I find myself mimicking that motion.  More graphically 🤮

 

I have to say though, you held your own against what seemed like 50 females the other day. Not bad.  I’d have thrown in the towel as it was a losing battle.  You simply didn’t know it.

I've noticed a tendency to do that, IRL as well as online. I get pissed off and seem so oblivious to how much other people are pissed off at me that they think I have some ninja power, or, I dunno, a gun or something and back off.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skullery Maid
32 minutes ago, CBC said:

Oh yeah, my reaction too. I literally never see that stuff and think "awwww".

tenor.gif?itemid=5591682

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Traveler40

Awwww, she knows you CBC.....😉 hahaha

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
2 minutes ago, Skullery Maid said:

tenor.gif?itemid=5591682

Hmmm. Ladeez.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skullery Maid

Awww or stupid? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68

Naked ladeez in bed.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Traveler40

As a Mom - Awwww.  Romantically - Nawwww 🙃

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skullery Maid

I think that's a couch. They're also not naked. 😂😂

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
1 minute ago, Skullery Maid said:

I think that's a couch. They're also not naked. 😂😂

They are. I haz ninja skillz.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Snao Cone
32 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

I've heard allos say they were heartbroken over the fact that their partner found someone else sexually attractive, and by that they were made to feel as though they weren't enough.  I've also heard them say rejection hurts because they either gave someone their body, or offered access to their body, and it was just not desirable to said person.

 

Do these things not apply to romantic feelings as well? If someone said "I'm completely in love with this other person, but I'm not having sex with them so don't worry" I would imagine that their partner would be distraught over it. Complex emotions are tied into the reasons somebody would to go the lengths of offering access to their body, just like they're tied into opening up about a lot of internal thoughts and feelings. People can be emotionally used without any sex involved. Asexual people are capable of doing this kind of damage in many ways, just like sexual people.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC
13 minutes ago, Skullery Maid said:

tenor.gif?itemid=5591682

Ok ok fiiiiiine, we just discussed this, you know I don't mean that. :rolleyes:

 

Send me a pic of the Biebs being cute with some chick and I'll vomit on my phone, though.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC

Also just #relationshipgoals as a hashtag is stupid. Plus I associate it with squealing teenage girls, who I can't stand almost more than anything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
2 minutes ago, Snao Cone said:

Do these things not apply to romantic feelings as well? If someone said "I'm completely in love with this other person, but I'm not having sex with them so don't worry" I would imagine that their partner would be distraught over it. Complex emotions are tied into the reasons somebody would to go the lengths of offering access to their body, just like they're tied into opening up about a lot of internal thoughts and feelings. People can be emotionally used without any sex involved. Asexual people are capable of doing this kind of damage in many ways, just like sexual people.

Yes, all that applies, then add the visceral power of sex into all that intimacy on top.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skullery Maid

Being cheated on feels like having your heart torn out of your chest. There are a lot of angles... there's the realization you've been living a lie, that the person you trusted has been lying to your face and pretending to feel the things you actually feel... there's the psychic loss of exclusivity, of sharing something only with each other... and of course the heartbreak that goes along with knowing that the emotional connection isn't what you thought it was. The sex is just a signal of everything else. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
General
18 hours ago, Sally said:

1.  Sexuals on AVEN have said they prefer to be called sexuals.  "Allos" makes no sense.

2.  I don't see it and I've been out in the open for many years.  

3.  Sexual infidelity is a matter of personality and prime relationship situation, not self-control.  

1. Allo is not a derogatory term in any way whatsoever, nor did any one of them complain to me specifically about using it.  Allo means "other/different," so yes allosexual does make sense.  They are in fact the "other," the opposite of aces.  If someone is offended by a non-derogatory word they should probably speak to a mental health professional about that.

 

2. Just because you don't see something doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

 

3. If you're saying one's personality and relationship status are a cause for cheating, that is a huge copout.  You're also making it sound like infidelity is an acceptable action.  It isn't under any circumstances.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC

I want to bother responding but I sort of don't as well. And given that I'm blocked... that seals the deal, I guess.

 

Plus Sally can hold her own.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skullery Maid
Just now, CBC said:

I want to bother responding but I sort of don't as well. And given that I'm blocked... that seals the deal, I guess.

 

Plus Sally can hold her own.

Just trade cute pics with me. 😘😘😘 I literally have "left avian Tumblr" (sorry, love that autocorrect)... "lesbian Tumblr"... saved to my phone. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...