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What do you think when people say "People can't be friends with the opposite sex"?

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Vincent Van Schmo

I don't think it's impossible, but it is definitely a lot more difficult to make friends with the opposite sex, especially these days.

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Barbio

I think, "well, then I guess I'm in trouble".

 

Edit: Or I think, "Who let Mike Pence in here?"

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Wandering Daydreamer

I think it depends on the persons involved. There's no rule.

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Duke Memphis

If you don't hate someone, that particular person has he potential to be your friend. Simple.

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Demi Dad

 if the people around me say that then they don't really know me ,i welcome the challenge

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MLJ
On 1/4/2019 at 3:34 PM, AceOfHearts_85 said:

In my observation over the past 33 years, it seems that males and females can only be "just friends" if they are different sexual orientations such as gay male/straight female, gay female/ace male, ace female (homoromantic)/ straight male, etc.

 

I have yet to see an "opposite sex" pair with opposite sex attraction not get into each other's pants at some point, or at least try.

This. I realize that it is certainly possible to be friends with anyone. And I'm not surprised that all the asexuals in this thread have no problem being friends with the opposite sex - there's no sexual attraction to interfere with the friendship. But I think a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman in a close friendship would likely have one or both develop romantic/sexual feelings over time - and it may be the reason the friendship started in the first place.

 

Like someone else said, it's pretty easy to be casual friends with the opposite sex - I have a number of male acquaintances I'm "friends" with. But pretty much any man I can think of who wanted to spend time with me and get to know me as "friends" really just wanted to date me. The one exception was a gay male friend of mine. And I have other female friends who also feel like if a man's really friendly, even if he says he's fine being just "friends," he really is hoping to date them.

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AceOfHearts_85
3 hours ago, MLJ said:

This. I realize that it is certainly possible to be friends with anyone. And I'm not surprised that all the asexuals in this thread have no problem being friends with the opposite sex - there's no sexual attraction to interfere with the friendship. But I think a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman in a close friendship would likely have one or both develop romantic/sexual feelings over time - and it may be the reason the friendship started in the first place.

 

Like someone else said, it's pretty easy to be casual friends with the opposite sex - I have a number of male acquaintances I'm "friends" with. But pretty much any man I can think of who wanted to spend time with me and get to know me as "friends" really just wanted to date me. The one exception was a gay male friend of mine. And I have other female friends who also feel like if a man's really friendly, even if he says he's fine being just "friends," he really is hoping to date them.

Exactly.  A lot of aces aren't considering the fact that there's no sexual/romantic feelings on their part to get in the way of their friendships.  OF COURSE they can be just friends if feelings are only one sided.

 

I use to think I was straight and thought it was ridiculous that people were saying guys and girls can't be only friends.  Then I finally realized I was asexual, and now I know WHY I had plenty of purely platonic friendships with males all this time and nothing ever happened beyond that.

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blueheroness

I think its total bullshit and get so mad about it. Growing up i just always thought it was normal. My brother is only 2 years older than me and i hung out with him a lot as a kid. It was fun and i just figured hanging out with boys would carry over into school and life. I had guy friends in middle school, high school, and college. But i think that others around me always assumed i'd end up dating one of them. that really irritated me. Because i felt like this idea of "romance" totally overruled everything they knew about me and my guy friends. Since they knew me and my guy friends I thought they would easily see that we were great friends but anything more would be totally stupid and out of the question because it would never work. But it didn't stop some people from assuming. And now that I am out of college having guy friends has totally tanked. Its so hard because as an adult all interaction has to be really intentional because people are so busy. So I feel like there are no casual opportunities for me to just hang out with guys. And then as a single adult people triple assume I'm on the prowl for a partner. So its super awkward to even have a conversation with a guy. This turned into a long rant so..yeah..those are my thoughts.

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AceOfHearts_85
2 hours ago, blueheroness said:

I think its total bullshit and get so mad about it. Growing up i just always thought it was normal. My brother is only 2 years older than me and i hung out with him a lot as a kid. It was fun and i just figured hanging out with boys would carry over into school and life. I had guy friends in middle school, high school, and college. But i think that others around me always assumed i'd end up dating one of them. that really irritated me. Because i felt like this idea of "romance" totally overruled everything they knew about me and my guy friends. Since they knew me and my guy friends I thought they would easily see that we were great friends but anything more would be totally stupid and out of the question because it would never work. But it didn't stop some people from assuming. And now that I am out of college having guy friends has totally tanked. Its so hard because as an adult all interaction has to be really intentional because people are so busy. So I feel like there are no casual opportunities for me to just hang out with guys. And then as a single adult people triple assume I'm on the prowl for a partner. So its super awkward to even have a conversation with a guy. This turned into a long rant so..yeah..those are my thoughts.

I hear you.  These assumptions plague me from time to time, even though I look like a straight up dude.  You would think the fact that I present as masculine would deter people from asking about boyfriend's and such.  But no.  Usually I'm assumed to be a butch lesbian, but there are times when people think I like my guy friend's "that way."  It's the wildest thing ever.  I guess they figure I must be in to SOMEONE sexually so they must inquire about both.  LOL

 

Jokes on them.  I'm a nonbinary asexual. 😂

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Romanca

Its easily possible. 

However the waters can get muddied a lot of the time.

I can depend on the feelings of one or both individuals.

Ive had issues with this. I have looked for Romanian friends as Im from there by birth and take great pride in preserving what I can of the national identity and adore the action of speaking Romanian and adore the accent. the feelings of how right this is, is absolute bliss. However the number of persistent men who are either looking for a relationship or some kind of sexual encounter is quite high and is mentally taxing. Having to repeat that your not looking for a relationship or a sexually charged conversation gets mentally tiring. I speak from my own personal experiences and wold not want to sound like im slating an entire gender and and entire nation.

If the two people in question have no attraction for each other then I say, yes it can work out as a great freindship. Ive heard that if one has an attraction (even if they dont act on it) it can be harder to keep the freindship, but this is what ive been told and I admit I dont speak from experience

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