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What do you think when people say "People can't be friends with the opposite sex"?

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(Creative name)

I'm a boy but literally all of my friends are girls and I've never even thought about feeling sexually attracted to anyone of them, but apparently people dont think being friends with the opposite sex is okay. Like I'll see ads online called, "why people can't, "just be friends" with the opposite sex." And I'm just like what why not. Also I will constantly hear my sister talk about how her boyfriend has a new friend who's a girl and my sister always gets mad over it but I dont understand why she wont let him be friends with her. What do you guys think about this? Do you think ace people are okay with bring friends with the opposite sex but heterosexual people arent? Like what are your opinions?

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Marian the Herbalist

I feel like it might look like I'm stalking you when I reply to two of your threads this early, but hey, you posted them close in time! Don't blame me.

 

Short answer: I find them ridiculous.

I've only had one person tell me that, one that I remember. He liked me, I kept a healthy distance because he was a gloomy person, but we talked a lot.

I have this childhood friend that I've known for over 14 years now, and when this gloomy guy would find out that we met or talked or whatever it was always "oh, he likes you, why else would he talk to you, a girl and boy can't be friends, there's always something between them, you like him more than me".

 

I laughed at him then and I laugh at him now. So stupid.

 

 

Adding: I think sexual people generally think that little saying is stupid as well.

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(Creative name)
2 minutes ago, Raindancer said:

I feel like it might look like I'm stalking you when I reply to two of your threads this early, but hey, you posted them close in time! Don't blame me.

 

Short answer: I find them ridiculous.

I've only had one person tell me that, one that I remember. He liked me, I kept a healthy distance because he was a gloomy person, but we talked a lot.

I have this childhood friend that I've known for over 14 years now, and when this gloomy guy would find out that we met or talked or whatever it was always "oh, he likes you, why else would he talk to you, a girl and boy can't be friends, there's always something between them, you like him more than me".

 

I laughed at him then and I laugh at him now. So stupid.

Yeah, I did post this like 5 minutes after the last one, so it's fine. This just came to my mind and I feel like I'd forget about it if I saved it till tomorrow.

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Emma M

Honestly, I think only super horny and/or insecure people think that. Average sexual people are not attracted to every person of their preferred sex. Some people are just weird!

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Philip027

I recognize that people might certainly have their reasons for thinking THEY can't be friends without the opposite sex (and it isn't necessarily because they're horny buggers that can't resist their heterosexual urges -- a lot of them, particularly females I would think, may have TRIED to be friends with the opposite sex only for it to turn out badly because the other people couldn't keep it friendly, and they may have just given up on trying)

 

But it's hardly a universal rule, as the majority of my friends are of the opposite sex >_>

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Marian the Herbalist
9 minutes ago, (Creative name) said:

Yeah, I did post this like 5 minutes after the last one, so it's fine. This just came to my mind and I feel like I'd forget about it if I saved it till tomorrow.

No worries :P

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(Creative name)
1 minute ago, Emma M said:

Honestly, I think only super horny and/or insecure people think that. Average sexual people are not attracted to every person of their preferred sex. Some people are just weird!

Yeah, that makes sense. But at the same time I feel like it's just the social norm in like tv shows or movies and even books that the one friend of the opposite sex will, "fall in love" with the main character, and at one point or another in your friendship someone will ask if you like them or something. Idk, theres an amount of people that think they can be friends and an even bigger amount thinking they cant, especially if they are in a romantic relationship at the time.

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(Creative name)
6 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

I recognize that people might certainly have their reasons for thinking THEY can't be friends without the opposite sex (and it isn't necessarily because they're horny buggers that can't resist their heterosexual urges -- a lot of them, particularly females I would think, may have TRIED to be friends with the opposite sex only for it to turn out badly because the other people couldn't keep it friendly, and they may have just given up on trying)

 

But it's hardly a universal rule, as the majority of my friends are of the opposite sex >_>

Yes, I really dont like when you're friends with someone and they take it the wrong way, like I was barely even friends with this one person, we saw eachother maybe 6 times over the course of 2 months, and turned out she had a crush on me, told like 50 people, and those people pressured me into dating her, so that was a great experience *visible sarcasm*

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Agentr9154

I think as a universal rule,anyone should be able to be friends with anyone.

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Winged Whisperer

My wife generally has more male friends than female ones. I on the other hand struggle to make any female friends due to my generally conservative/respectful attitude towards them, but I've always wanted to have female friends too, and I'd agree that social conditioning has placed a barrier in that way and ideally people should be able to communicate and form positive relationships much easier.

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Nowhere Girl

For me it's a part of heteronormativity. And, to a lesser extent, sexual normativity. This way the stereotype naturalises different-sex* romantic-sexual attraction by making it seem so strong that it always will prevail.

*Btw, I hate the phrase "opposite sex". Why are two different objects always understood as opposites? Women are not the opposite of men or "anti-men", they are just different that men! And the other way around. "After all, a woman is more similar to a man than to anything else."

For me treating these two genders as opposites is simply wrong, even without mentioning that "male" and "female" are not the only possible genders, not even on the purely biological level.

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Lunala

I think it's sexist. In real life I tend to get along better with males than females, and I'm a girl. In 4th grade, 99% of the girls in my grade got crushes on One Direction and I remember me being basically the only girl who thought they were stupid. All the girls thought I was "weird" and excluded me but all the guys were more friendly towards me.

 

You can be friends with anyone regardless of their gender. Anyone who says otherwise is sexist. Just my thoughts.

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Homer
1 hour ago, (Creative name) said:

but apparently people dont think being friends with the opposite sex is okay. Like I'll see ads online called, "why people can't, "just be friends" with the opposite sex."

That's clickbait. Stop taking this seriously :)

 

What I think: It's a pile of horse dung. I also think that if your sister gets mad about things like that, their relationship probably won't last long...

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Dreamsexual

.

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Tintinfan

I find it annoying.

A couple of time when climbing with the squish I have been asked weather I'm his sister or girlfriend.

Apparently friend who is a different gender isn't considered.

 

Next time I get asked Sister or girlfriend I will say 'both' and watch the horror on their face.

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Philip027
Quote

*Btw, I hate the phrase "opposite sex". Why are two different objects always understood as opposites? Women are not the opposite of men or "anti-men", they are just different that men! And the other way around. "After all, a woman is more similar to a man than to anything else."

For me treating these two genders as opposites is simply wrong, even without mentioning that "male" and "female" are not the only possible genders, not even on the purely biological level.

Bellisario's Maxim applies here, I think.

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Doodler98

How many people actually believe this? I think they're just an immature minority.

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wood_pots

I actuallly started a discussion on the same thing a while back. People gave mixed views and different people had different experiences. I think you should be able to have opposite sex friends, but I do know that it can cause problems as some people have said. There will be no right or wrong answer!

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GoneForGood

I think that it is a generalization and that for many people it is not true. In my life however I have found that it is a rare man who would ever be interested in me as a friend. The vast majority have only been interested in me sexually (and for much of my life I thought of myself as a lesbian).

 

Several problems of course

Generalizations are usually bad ways of living your life or deciding things

Neither sex nor gender are really a binary and that seriously messes up the generalization

Many of my lesbians friends actually have more male friends than female and they are sexual but still don't run into the problems that I have (I don't know why)

Some of my best friends and even dating relationships have been with men, this disproves the generalization

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Little Bear

I actually only have friends that are the opposite sex. I grew up just wanting to find people that I felt comfortable being with (it took a loooooong time) and unlike other people (sexual people) I didn't ever think how some people view it in just an animalistic way (as in sexual intentions when there are none). We're all here just trying to enjoy friendships with whomever we fit in with best, right? I suppose some people are just paranoid that their partner will cheat so don't like the idea of them making friends with someone of the opposite sex.

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Snao Cone
5 hours ago, Raindancer said:

Adding: I think sexual people generally think that little saying is stupid as well.

Reasonable ones, at least. 

 

Honestly I think if people do have recurring problems with opposite gender friends, they're too hetero. I've seen this more in sexual people, but I guess it can apply to some asexual heteroromantic folks as well. It shows that their orientation dictates every part of relating to another person. These are the people who cry about being friendzoned, and expect sympathy for having friends (that they probably don't deserve, to be honest). 

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Serran

If sexual people couldnt be friends with people of the gender they were attracted to, then pan and bi people would be awfully lonely. 

 

It is a silly old fashioned thought and your sister needs to stop being controlling and jealous. 

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Just Dani

I think that it's a huge load of crap. (T_T) 

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cucaruchis

I've definitely heard it before, but I don't think it's true at all. I've talked about it with my sexual friends as well and none of them consider it true either.

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Coddiwomple

It's BS. I have plenty of male, female, and nonbinary friends.

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Strifed

I don't think it's 100% true since I've always had more guy friends > women. Sometimes I had guy friends that ended up having crushes on me and it made the relationship somewhat awkward after that, but I think that just happens sometimes. Anyway, I think it is totally possible to have completely platonic relationships with any gender though! I think your sister is kinda overreacting tbh... just because he has a friend that's a girl doesn't mean he's got any hidden motives. He just likes her as a friend, and that's OK.

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Gloomy

I think it’s like saying gay people can’t be friends with the same sex and bisexuals can’t be friends with anyone.

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blueyoshi

I think, "what are you, a second grader?"

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Dreamsexual

.

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