Sadsea

I wish I could make a decision!

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Sadsea

Today I don't feel very positive at all - maybe I'm tired and have the post Christmas blues.  I have posted before about my situation and sadly, it doesn't appear to

be improving!  I feel that the only way that I can go on in this situation is to completely ignore my feelings and become more like my husband - very quiet and very detached.

 

It is easy to say - "If you are so unhappy, just leave!" but there are so many issues to consider.

 

Tomorrow - I might be able to be more positive but today is not good.

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GoneForGood

I am sorry this is causing you problems.

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ryn2

I’m sorry you’re sad today.

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Telecaster68

Sorry you're feeling down. Sitting with your feelings is probably the right thing to do. They'll settle and eventually pass.

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Sadsea

Thank you for your replies - I was going to delete the post (too much self pity!) but I couldn't work out how to do it!

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ryn2

Eh, it’s okay to feel bad!  Most everyone on both sides of the sexuality fence understands what it’s like to feel down and miserable.

 

I’m not sure you can delete a post here - you may have to ask an admod to do it.  What you can do is edit your post and replace the original text with (deleted) or . or - or similar.

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anisotrophic

Yeah, I'm afraid the most you can do is modify text!

 

Did you ever look into therapy - or is it not something practically feasible for you? It's hard to live with these things and not be able to talk to someone about it.

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chandrakirti

Hope things change for you in the new year. Hang in there!

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Sadsea
3 hours ago, anisotropic said:

Yeah, I'm afraid the most you can do is modify text!

 

Did you ever look into therapy - or is it not something practically feasible for you? It's hard to live with these things and not be able to talk to someone about it.

I've previously had a large number of CBT sessions on my own but haven't looked into therapy again since I first posted in September.  I really wish I could be more understanding about my husbands situation but I find it hard that we are so distant with each other at the moment.

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uhtred

I'm sorry you are feeling down.  I think it happens a lot in mixed relationships. Sometimes its OK, and sometimes is just hurts.  I don't think there is a solution. 

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anisotrophic

@Sadsea it feels like you should try seeing a counselor for yourself, if not as a couple. Someone that advises for couples/relationships, even if it's just you that talks to them. It might help get you some perspective on whether you should be trying to separate, seek joint therapy, etc.

 

Because from what you've written, it sounds like you feel a lot of distance and lack of connection/communication with your partner. And it sounds like things won't change without taking some sort of action.

 

You could try to find someone ace-aware if your partner self-identifies as such. But if not, I'm not sure how helpful that is.

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SCPDX

I’m sorry that you are going through a difficult time. As others have said above, there are times when we’re better able to handle the situation and other times when we can’t. 

 

I hope that the new year brings you more of what you need. 

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IronHamster
On 12/31/2018 at 8:32 AM, SCPDX said:

I’m sorry that you are going through a difficult time. As others have said above, there are times when we’re better able to handle the situation and other times when we can’t. 

 

I hope that the new year brings you more of what you need. 

It will.  

 

In the movie, The Matrix, a man who has lived his life in a computer generated world is given an opportunity to see the world as it really is, or not.  He can take the blue pill and go back to the alternate reality he is comfortable with, or take the red pill and see things the way they really are.  Truth is uncomfortable, but it is necessary to move forward.   

 

Take the red pill.  

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Telecaster68

Really? Red Pilling now?

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IronHamster
1 hour ago, Telecaster68 said:

Really? Red Pilling now?

Metaphorically, yes.  

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Telecaster68

In the sense of the PUA stuff?

 

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Skycaptain

Can you please stay on topic. Thank you. Skycaptain 

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