Jump to content

I'm a 22 years old female,I've never been kissed or dated anyone. Is it weird?


karen564

Recommended Posts

Lucy in the sky

Reading your post, like many people here, I too felt as if you were describing my own life.

 

I'm 21, never dated, never kissed, never cared for all that (or anything more).

I was always fine with this, but lately I've been feeling more and more anxious about the future. I dread loneliness but I also fear commitment (not to mention that I don't really want it at this point). It's a paradox. I feel like time is slipping through my fingers, I feel like now, more than ever, I'm at a point where I should be dating, and loving and living... I have hobbies, I'm a full-time student, I have family and a few friends - life ain't bad 🙂 but at the same time... i feel like i'm missing out on what most people my age are experiencing. I'm dreadfully afraid that I'll wake up one day, look into the mirror and see a lonely old woman, who has no one beside her to remember the happy and beautiful youth, all the fun and crazy times, and the way we were once two silly young people in love. A good chance is, I won't have anyone to build a life with, and that has never bothered me until recently. I haven't given up, but it'll have to be a pretty different life than the "conventional" one.

 

I wish my rant had a happy ending or a silver lining to it, but at least for now, I can't provide that.

All i can say is, I find some comfort in knowing that I'm not alone, surrounded by all you here and probably many more. I suppose if you know what you want and keep trying to get it, even happiness can't evade you forever. 🙂

 

There's a quote from the movie Enigma, it has nothing to do with asexuality, but it stuck with me... two people, scientists, let's say, are discussing marriage, but the man is a homosexual and the woman doesn't care because they're friends and understand each other on a different level, so she's prepared to go through with it:

But we're not like other people. We love each other in our own way, and we can have the life together that we want. You won't be the perfect husband? I can promise you I harboured no intention of being the perfect wife. I'll work. You'll work. And we'll have each other's company. We'll have each other's minds.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Life With Masks

Same for me in some aspects.

I don't know if it is normal or not because there are no statistics for that that I know of.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Neutral Charge
On 1/1/2019 at 3:50 AM, Helo421 said:

 

 

i think i'm more interested in a partner who's more like a very close friend. someone who knows all of my faults and still decides to stick around. somebody to eat with.. talk to.. complain with lol. not interested in all that other ooey gooey stuff. 

I was virgin, no kiss no touch till 20.

Then i followed social norms not knowing who and how i am, that caused me a lot of suffering in life and relations, after all of that i came to the same conslusion as Helo421, i think i would add a friend that never lets you run off in the night and cry by yourself.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear that you're feeling some anxiety and a lack of fulfillment over not having been kissed at your current age. I hope you can take heart from everyone who has replied. I didn't get my first kiss until I was 24, and it was a real surprise - a drunk woman took a sudden liking to me at an airport, threw her arms around me and planted her whiskey-breathing mouth over mine. I remember thinking OMG, my first kiss and it had to be THIS?! 😲

Anyway, I hope yours is better!

Link to post
Share on other sites
LadyGagaIsMyGod

I’m a nearly 16 years old female and I’ve never had a crush or been interested in anyone. And quite frankly, I really have no motivation or want for any of that. It’s not weird, it’s just how I am and anyone who calls me weird or broken can go shag a rusty spork in my opinion.

 

Sorry for the small rant, but no it’s not weird and I hope no one feels that way ,but I’m sure they’re are plenty of people who do.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 5 months later...
chaotic lemon

Just wanted to share and add to this thread ;-; I can really empathize with you!

21, never kissed anyone, never dated, never had sex. Nothing proud, nothing shameful -- I somehow am defensive of this though, and have an answer prepared for when anyone ever attacks me or makes me feel bad for this: I just haven't met someone who makes me want to do all these things yet. (I'm not against any of these perse, but I do not particularly crave nor seek it at the moment.. or have ever?)

I'm still on my way in trying to both understand and appreciate my friends who are budding into their youthful twenties with me. While at times it seems like a whirlwind of constant (and dare I say...redundant) conversation topics of love, dating, and sex around me, it's hard sometimes--It's hard to stand my ground and feel confident in my greyness, and especially when everyone is going around teasing/fishing out juicy "firsts" stories from everyone else. Sure my close friends politely don't bother to ask me, but that doesn't make me feel any less awkward at these hot and heavy conversations. I don't know what to do sometimes when everyone's all riled up talking about things. But, from all of this, if anything, I am quite very sure now more than ever in my greyness and my disinterest for romantic and sexual relations.

Link to post
Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere

I'm 38 years old and have never had a kiss other than the "familial" kind (which I, by the way, dislike, my family now knows that they shouldn't kiss me).

I'm relatively touch-averse, intensely sex-averse, but I would be open to some sensual acts such as hugging and gentle kisses. And yet it doesn't happen...

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/26/2018 at 9:26 PM, karen564 said:

I consider myself an asexual,not an aromantic. The thing is that I've been feeling quite lonely this year. I've really never worried about relationships or having your first kiss before,I never cared about not dating and stuff like that. I just wasn't interested and never really liked someone as much as to get into a relationship. I don't know if all this feeling is due to aging (haha) but,yeah...I've been feeling lonely about the romantic aspect of my life. I have friends and a family (just my mum and my sister sometimes) that love me and I'm fine with that,but I just dont know why I want to feel what it is like to be loved or liked by someone (romantically talking) . Almost all my friends are in a relationship and seem really happy,I'm happy for them and then I remember how lonely I am and I may be for the rest of my life. It gets really awkard when I get asked by my colleagues who I like or if I have ever dated or been kissed,before I didn't mind answering that I have zero experience with that matters but now I kinda feel uncomfortable and I don't feel related when they talk about their boyfriends or people they dated. I just don't want to go to a club and kiss someone just because (it is not like people hit on me very often either and I've been feeling kind of unattractive for that reason as well). I've had people who was interested in me like 2,1 years ago but I didn't feel anything towards them and I don't want to force myself to try out something with someone I don't feel even attracted to. I know I'm a mess and I may be the problem for having high expectations about what a relationship may be. Sorry for beating too much around the bush and thank you for reading! (If you did haha)

Different, yes! Weird? Not necessary!

Link to post
Share on other sites
rainbowocollie

Hey, I'm about to turn 26 and I've never kissed or dated either. In my case I'm simply uninterested, but still.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
helana12_03

As someone who had very little interest in dating and tried it anyway I can tell you that you're not missing much. Relationships can really suck sometimes, especially when you don't actually want to be in one and it doesn't feel right. If it's not your thing, it's not your thing. Being in a relationship that doesn't work for you can make you more lonely than not dating at all. I think it's better to wait until it feels right (if it ever does) rather than be peer pressured into it. Some aromantics feel more comfortable in queerplatonic relationships. Others prefer close friendships. Being aromantic doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be alone.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Taradactyl

I’m in the same boat! I’m 20 and I’ve never even held hands with a guy I’m definitely not aromantic it’s just really hard for me to find guys that want a ace girl!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I was 20 when I had my first kiss and sex and I'm now 38 and married. Relationships can be very difficult but you never know who is out there if you want to be in a relationship

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...