Mollie

Are asexuals less concerned about their personal appearance?

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MichaelTannock
On 12/21/2018 at 9:04 PM, Mollie said:

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

I think it might be likely, but I don't know.

 

On 12/21/2018 at 9:04 PM, Mollie said:

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

I don't think about it, as I don't know what other people find sexy.

 

On 12/21/2018 at 9:04 PM, Mollie said:

Do you dress more casually?

I wear whatever feels comfortable, and doesn't look bad to me. I suppose that's a yes.

 

On 12/21/2018 at 9:04 PM, Mollie said:

How about now gender neutrally?

I feel like a man, so I wear men's clothing.

 

On 12/21/2018 at 9:04 PM, Mollie said:

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

I don't think about my appearance, so I don't get enjoyment from dressing up.

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Sashanka
On 12/21/2018 at 3:04 PM, Mollie said:

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

I think asexuals' concerns about personal appearance isn't any different and just as varied as anyone else's and will stay the same or change according to their needs, comfort, how they feel, what they think, and want.

 

On 12/21/2018 at 3:04 PM, Mollie said:

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

I wouldn't know "sexy" if it bit me in the ass. I do know revealing and not revealing and I don't like revealing. I don't like wearing shorts and I don't like wearing anything above my calves. I live in tank tops and leggings, even now in winter. I'm a clothes layer-er....lol  Pull on a pair of jeans and a thermal top before bundling up to go outside. 

 

On 12/21/2018 at 3:04 PM, Mollie said:

Do you dress more casually?

I usually dress somewhere between casual and sloppy. I am always at home so it's not like anyone's going to see me so I'm not motivated to give a shit. That's pretty much it.

 

On 12/21/2018 at 3:04 PM, Mollie said:

How about now gender neutrally?

I never planned on dressing neutrally or mas. but it's happened all my life. I go into the women's section and I'm intimidated, I don't know what to buy, and feel out of my element. I go into the men's section for hubby and I KNOW this shit...lol  Those pants have REAL pockets, man, and the shirts are flannel. : )  I love flannel. So...my head wants one thing but knows something else. I hate it.

 

On 12/21/2018 at 3:04 PM, Mollie said:

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

I do like looking pretty but I have to have a reason to do it. Some things just don't make sense in my mind unless there is an obvious reason...like going to a funeral, a wedding, a party, a celebration of sorts, church...you know, occasions.  That's the reason I don't leave my house. Gimme a reason and I'll go. Otherwise, here I am.

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ryn2
On 12/22/2018 at 10:46 AM, Dreamsexual said:

If I had a magic wand I'd wave it and make myself super good looking and hyper fashionable and cool.

 

But looking good requires effort, motivation, money, time, youth, and good genetics - all of which I lack.  So I settle for comfort and functionality.

This.

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HeyTay

@Mollie

I am Biromantic Demisexual. 

I have had people comment that I wear unusually high-collared shirts at work. Where this seems very inappropriate... my coworkers have basically said that they want to see my cleavage lol

 

...I think I dress cute... Truthfully, I never dress up more than I need to. Sometimes, I do really pretty make-up then leave my hair kinda messy. And put some clips in to make it look purposeful.  I don’t like keeping tons of outfits around that I wear once or twice a year, so I have like... two dresses? And I wear my Van’s tennis shoes every chance I get. Haha 

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Smol Fox

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

- I wouldn't know. Asexuals are a very diverse group of people.

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

- I tend to find "sexiness" extremely unattractive, so yeah, I avoid it. I'd rather be aesthetic at best and especially comfortable. I really dress for myself, not others.

Do you dress more casually?

- Yeah. I don't know if that has much to do with asexuality though. I just enjoy being comfortable.

How about now gender neutrally?

- Yeah, but I'm a neutral enby so.

Or, as an asexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

- Not really, but I'd also attribute that to being a neutral-presenting enby with no interest in looking "pretty" or "handsome". In fact, ew.

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Yourbiggestfan

Regardless of what you identify as people will get a bad impression of you if you don't take care of yourself, that's just the way people are.

That was a light shining down from above moment for me when I was around 18. I spent a bit more on clothes that matched and fixed my hair and "Viola" more people wanted to talk to me. I felt much better about myself and I started to make more things happen.

The whole "You need to spend loads of time and money to look good" is a myth as most of it is what you should be doing naturally or as part of a routine.

Oh yeah think about this right. You spent £50 on a new game or £20 going out for pizza, well clothes last longer and change the way people interact with you, people will only be your friend until the pizza is gone. 

 

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TheGeekyNobody

I wear t-shirt and shorts most every day, jeans when its cold so uh...I personally don't put a lot of time into it, but I think it really depends on the person. I also have the fact I'm a stressed out college student going in my favor for not caring

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Lunala

I don't really care about my appearance, though I still like to pick out nice outfits, I just don't dress super-fancy or spend 3000 hours on my hair each day. I like to wear modest, comfy clothing and generally I look like a 10-12 year old kid despite turning 16 soon... I don't mind looking younger than my actual age because it repels all unwanted attention :) I identify as a female, but I still like to keep an androgynous appearance if that makes sense. I feel that an androgynous appearance "suits" me more and I feel more comfortable like that.

 

I don't do make-up - it feels weird on my face. It feels heavy and dehydrating on my face. Don't like the feel of it.

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ryn2

Wanting not to look sexy - to downplay things that might draw unwelcome attention - is caring about one’s appearance just as much as wanting to look sexy is.  Maybe it’s more that some ace folks care *differently* about their appearance.

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Winged Whisperer

I know I personally care about my looks, at least on an abstract level. Going bald has caused me distress numerous times over the past year or two. I've always wanted long hair and have been fond of gothic and punk imagery and styles. Also really loved man bracelets. All that said, I usually don't put enough effort really that I see friends and acquaintances put and have never really looked how I wanted to. Even a few years back when I did grow my hair long, I only rarely used the hair straightener to look good.

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Hayley

I don't feel that you can stereotyoe asexuals on this. Over the years I've interacted with countless people through AVEN (both online and offline) and they've all been so different. 

 

Personally I invest a lot of time and energy into my appearance, although not to be attractive per se. I have a certain aesthetic and love to stand out. I don't really do casual or own any clothing for it. I'm either dressed up to the nines or in my pajamas with my hair in a messy bun. 😂

I do tend to dress modestly though. Longer skirts, higher necklines. I don't tend to show much skin. 

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Kathychan96

I am asexual but i also like feeling beautiful and great just for me...so i dress for me the way i like...feeling sexy it's for me and only!!!

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Wandering Daydreamer

I wished I could just go out dressing the most comfortable clothing I have, like my pajamas. But there would be funny looks. I DO care about what other people think of my apperance constantly, but at the same time I don't care enough to make a real effort. I'd rather do something more interesting than buying meaningless peace of clothing to cover my body. I don't even get what is fashion these days anyway, I just dress whatever makes me feel confortable or like the clothing because it doesn't give too much attention to me.

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solunarEclipse

i'm new here and still sort of questioning, but the thought of anyone looking at my body and thinking i'm attractive sexually makes me feel horrible and kind of sick. i'm sort of female presenting, i think? but i wear hoodies, plaid flannel, and jeans (and my hair is relatively short) and definitely never anything skintight. i don't want to attract that kind of attention, ever. if anyone is interested in me i'd really rather it be because they like the things that i do or things about my personality, not how i look.

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Kersenne

I don't mind dressing up and putting on nice clothes that make me look good and sometimes even sexy.

 

What I don't like is the way men look at me afterwards... I have a talent for not noticing how men eye me up and down, but as soon as I wear something that shows a little leg or a little cleavage, well, stares become too obvious to ignore. I like feeling pretty and sexy but I don't like being eyed the way some men do, so it's often hard to decide on what to wear. Most of the time, I just wear comfortable and casual clothes, things I feel good in - and if sometimes my clothes are too sexy for men to ignore, well, I ignore them and pretend I don't see what's going on around me. 

 

In any case, I don't think what clothes choices have anything to do with me being asexual - to be honest, I realised that whatever I wear, men look at me (and probably at any other woman), and I can be attractive wearing a skirt or and old jogging. So I just wear things I like :) 

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Emily_Existiert

I care a lot about my appearance to be honest. But it is mostly just to feel good about myself than looking good for others. I wear mostly tight-fitting turtlenecks because I feel comfortable and look good at the same time,  in my opinion at least. I never intentionally dress "sexy", or rather, it isn't my goal to be seen as "sexy". But I do want to look beautiful or pretty. As for the gender-neutral thing, I don't know. I do have short hair, but I like wearing dresses and skirts and I wear make-up. 

But I think it varies from person to person.

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Zinerva

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?
-It's hard to say in general. I personally might be slightly less concerned currently, but it might be just my engineering side - at least around here engineers are quite unkempt and having a clean outfit on a regular is considered an achievement. I tend to be one of the better dressed ones.

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

-Yes. I used to be more aware of this when I was younger and got more unwanted attention. I also was less comfortable with expressing femininely back then. Now I enjoy dresses and skirts (hello, nothing tight around belly) as long as they have pockets and are of modest length and might even occasionally show the tiniest bit of cleavage. Just for myself to enjoy. I also like to joke that since I'm the only woman in most situation I'm going to be enough of a woman for everyone. 

 

Do you dress more casually?

-I usually go for casual when I'm cold. Which is often. This is a cold country. Winter leggings only get you so far.

 

How about now gender neutrally?

-My body is shaped very femininely. Gender neutral isn't really an option for me. Referring back to my second answer though, I used to wear t-shirts and jeans a lot more often five years ago.

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?
-Being pretty is fun! Working in customer service really got me to change my opinion on wearing makeup (before it was only for parties and such, now I do it for fun sometimes, back then it was everyday). Skirts are great but pockets are a must! Gotta find that balance between pretty and functional. In general I know enjoy being pretty in a sophisticated manner. Wouldn't get in a miniskirt and go to a rave. Something you can wear at an office job.

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Violet055

I never thought about my asexuality affecting the way I dress, but it is possible. The most obvious example I can recall is overhearing two girls talk about wearing yoga pants because it makes their backside look good, whereas I mostly stick to jeans because they're comfortable- never considered shopping for pants just to make myself more attractive. I buy clothes for comfort, quality and style, but never for purposes of looking attractive. I definitely don't purposely hide myself or make myself ugly or anything, but I don't go out of my way either. And average day for me is black jeans and a nice sweater at work, and jeans on the weekend. I was never into make up either, except for concealer when I was younger and had acne. I do stay thin, but that's more due to a love of running and high metabolism than wanting to look good. I really think my style has more to do with my personality than my asexuality, but i also wouldn't be shocked if my casualness had some connection to it.

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Acebooklove

I do get concerned about my appearance, I like to look good, mind you, that doesn´t mean i like ppl staring at me in a sexual way, but well, sometimes it happens. I´ve been stared at even in my most baggy pants and shirt, so I just don´t care anymore 😂 I just wear whatever i like and feel comfortable with.

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StomachGod

- Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?
I think that depends on the person really, each person has their own personal preference.

 

- If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?
More or less, I dress how I like however I don't tend to like "sexy" outfits anyway.

 

- Do you dress more casually?
Depends on the occasion, certainly in colder weather.

 

- How about gender neutrally?
If I can manage it, yes, but I am from the non-binary range so that is more likely why.

 

- Or, as an asexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?
I like to feel pretty or cute. It gives me confidence in myself.

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Gloomy

I care a lot about my appearance despite not desiring a romantic or sexual relationship, I guess I’m just vain like that. Once in a while when I’m home alone I wear “sexy” things just because, however I don’t like dressing like that out in public where people can see me. If the weather permits I’m fine with wearing shorts that show 90% of my legs, although I prefer to wear a t-shirt rather than a tank top with those shorts to kind of balance it out. However I’m not comfortable showing my mid-drift or wearing tops that are too low cut.

 

Most of my clothes are casual and comfortable, but they still look good on me. For example a dress with leggings and a cardigan is a really comfortable outfit for me yet still looks good on me.

 

I sometimes wear makeup, have long hair, and most of my clothes are women’s clothes. Some of my jeans are men’s jeans since I have long legs and most women’s jeans are too short for me, but I get those really skinny jeans that emo guys wear so they can still pass for women’s jeans lol. I have a few other articles of clothing that were from the men’s section but I don’t think they look bad on me.

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NordicNoir

I am interested in style and fashion in a theoretical sort of way. I love to hang out on Pinterest and look at stylish people and their outfits and I do that IRL as well. But I can’t seem to figure out how to find my own style, despite thinking about it a lot (and having worked in clothing shops for over a decade). I wish I was one of those people who have a clear recognisable style, almost a uniform. 

 

It’s january and I feel like change, and I feel like getting a whole new style (and this could very well be related to having recently understood that I am asexual).  But I have no idea how to go about it. Sigh. 

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Apollo11

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

I am concerned about my appearance because of my work. I work with people and the way I present myself matters. I need to be aware of the image I project. Otherwise no, I don't care about making myself look attractive as a potential mate.

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

I am certainly not actively looking to dress sexy, but I wouldn't necessarily avoid it if I liked a certain outfit. I do dislike it if people read me as "sexy" instead of "pretty".

 

Do you dress more casually?

Yes, I do, but it's probably related to my ADHD. I am way too disorganized to be able to pull off a very neat outfit.

 

How about gender neutrally?

I am non-binary, but I tend towards a femme presentation. However, in practice, my idea of "femme" seems to be more gender-neutral than most people's.

 

Or, as an asexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

Sometimes I do. It's always nice to receive a compliment, it's not sexual.

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James121
On 12/21/2018 at 9:04 PM, Mollie said:

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

 

Do you dress more casually?

 

How about now gender neutrally?

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

I would guess not. Looking good is as much about feeling good about yourself as it is attracting someone to you.

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@eddie

I care about myself and my appearance. It has nothing to do about anyone else. 

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