Mollie

Are asexuals less concerned about their personal appearance?

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Raire

If I'm honest, I stopped caring about my personal appearance long before I realised that I was ace! 

That's not to say that I'm a gross pile of sweat and moth-eaten clothes (well, not all the time) - I do scrub up nicely when I put the effort into it. 

But I'm generally of two minds when it comes to appearances: 

1 ) What's the point? 

2 ) Do I feel comfortable? 

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Just Dani
3 hours ago, Mollie said:

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

 

Do you dress more casually?

 

How about now gender neutrally?

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

Hmm, good question. 

 

Like others have said, it's probably more a question of personal preference than sexual orientation, though I can see why there might be a correlation between the two. 

 

Uh, it doesn't matter what I wear. I'm not what people would describe as "sexy"! 😆 

 

Sometimes I dress more casually; other times I dress up more. It depends a lot on how I'm feeling and how much I care. I have body image issues, though, so that complicates things. That, and I have trouble finding clothes that fit me... 😞 

 

I try to dress as gender neutral as I can, but it's hard. Kids clothes tend to suck... And a lot of the stuff I wanna wear doesn't come in my size, grr! 😬 I do enjoy shopping in both the men's and women's sections, tho. 🙂

 

I WISH that I was more attractive! 🤣

 

1 hour ago, Camicon said:

T-shirts and jeans! T-shirts and jeans! T-shirts and jeans!

 

If I can't move freely in it then it has no place in my closet.

*nods in agreement*

 

1 hour ago, McKayla said:

Obviously everyone is different, but I personalty don't care as much about my appearance, I don't want to look like i don't care at all but i don't wear things unless they are comfortable, and most of my clothes are from the mens section. I haven't worn a skirt or dress since like grade 3 and when it comes to pants I really only wear sweatpants cause that is how little I care, I don't even have any womans bottoms. I do like nice shirts and sweaters though (50 50 mens and womans), I make sure everything goes well enough together but I don't dress fashionably by any means. I want to look nice in my eyes and I don't want people to think I don't try, but I don't care about fashion.

Like my little powerpuff self over there, I care about cats more than fashion and I usually wear all black (covered in orange cat fur).

I love your avatar! 💜 

 

1 hour ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

If it ain't comfy and full of deep pockets, I ain't wearing it.

*nods in agreement yet again*

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Coddiwomple

I can't speak for other asexuals, but for me, I am moderately concerned with my physical appearance--I tend to be self-conscious, and I also like looking nice just for myself. I have always been relatively modest, and wearing anything even moderately revealing like a tank top makes me very uncomfortable. Although, I am not sure how much of this is due to gender dysphoria rather than ace-ness.

 

I never really think about how to best attract people, because that's just not my motivation for taking care of my appearance. My motivation is to appear somewhat put-together, to fit the occasion, and to wear what I want to wear. Edit: And to be comfortable. That's it. Attracting people isn't even a factor in the equation.

 

I do dress gender neutrally when I can, because that's my preferred clothing style, although I also enjoy dressing more masculine/feminine from time to time (the latter sometimes makes me dysphoric, though).

 

I do actually enjoy dressing up, as long as I can choose what formalwear to don. I have always loved the idea of going to a grand ball or something similar.

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Koning

"Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?"


It truly depends on the individual, yet it should be true to some degree, especially to aromantic asexuals (though they can be concerned due to other ambitions; e.g. career). The desire to attract a potential partner is in any way a good motivation to start taking care of your appearance, I know this from personal experience and from friends. If this desire is gone, many of them would look unkempt. Nevertheless, a great amount of asexuals still experiences some form of attraction and wish to be viewed attractive because of this. This could be for validation, confidence, inner cheer or potentially even to attract someone.
 

 
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Overthehill

I normally dress somewhat modestly, but also presentable. I don't mind attracting some attention, but not of the sexual nature.

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lanxi

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

No. I don't think asexuality has anything to do with it, it depends on a person

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

I enjoy looking pretty but not necessarily sexy. I like to feel comfortable but sometimes when I look at other girls I think that I could wear skirts/tops more often so I would buy them but then I shy away from clothes that could make other people think of me as an sexual object because I simply find it disgusting... It's a bit messed up, because aesthetically I like looking at girls who wear sexy clothes (not provocative, just sexy) but I don't see myself wearing them, even though sometimes I would like to...

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thylacine

I like to look nice and wear makeup and do my hair nice, but I don't dress sexy.  I just have no need to dress sexy.  I like nice clothes and jewelry, but I never wear high-heels or short skirts.

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starweb

 

I'm a comfort first kind of person when it comes to clothes but I try to make sure they're clean and tidy but I try to not draw any attention to myself. No makeup, although I understand why some might like wearing it. I don't do anything with my hair except wash it and blow dry it. I have a weird genetic condition where it is constantly falling out and regrowing just as fast so no matter what I do, it always looks untidy.

 

I HATE dressing up. I go out of my way to avoid social occasions where that's required.  I always feel so fake when I can't get out of it. 

 

 

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kmarra

Like many comments stated before me, a lot of my clothes come from the men's section. I love quarter zips, and there is a surprising amount of them in men's golfing sections at sports/athletic stores. I also wear jeans or Adidas sweatpants (my favorite article of clothing on the planet). The rest of closet could easily be considered gender neutral. 

 

If I do have to dress up, you will find me wearing a suit-- never a dress. Make-up is not my thing either. I hate the cake feeling on my face. I also happened to just clear up my horrible and painful cystic acne (thank you accutane), so I only put light soaps and lotions on my skin. 

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KendraPM

I personally love to dress up. Make-up, high heels, dresses, skirts, power suits, etc. I love it all.

I also like to feel like I look good and sometimes I even want to look sexy. :)

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Rosendust

As for me, I do tend to dress more casually, but I do try to keep my skin healthy/have a good skincare regimen. I don't feel as if the way I dress links me to being asexual, I believe that I've always been the way I am regardless of dressing style.

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Norellia

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance than allosexuals?

I do not think so atleast for me. I try to keep up my hygiene and skincare. Along with this I enjoy wearing makeup and feminine clothing.

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

Not for me. I have a good figure and know I am attractive and enjoy wearing clothing that flatters me or may appear sexy. If someone finds me attractive and likes me I tend to treat it as a compliment not something I have to hide from.

 

Do you dress more casually?

Depends on the day. If I have to go to early morning classes then ill just throw on something comfy and fast, if I am going out with friends or family I put more effort into it. 

 

How about how gender neutral?

For me the most gender neutral clothing is a tshirt, jeans, and my vans. I definitely enjoy dressing more feminine, but also like a more tomboyish look from time to time.

 

Or, as an asexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

I do! I wish I had more opportunities to wear some of my nicer dresses, heels, and makeup looks. I really enjoy knowing that I look good and feel pretty. Rarely when I am bored at home I still play dress up XD...

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Sally

I like to look nice, and I also like to buy clothes at Goodwill, etc.  But then I get those clothes home and they don't look good on me so I don't wear them.  Then I go back to Goodwill, etc., and repeat the whole thing again.  So I have a closetfull of cheap used-but-nice clothes and only wear about 3 outfits.  I've been doing that all my life.  

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(Creative name)

I (personally) put comfort over looks. I usually just wear sweatpants, a long sleeve shirt, and a zip-up jacket. I've never really thought about how it relates to my asexuality, but everyone's different, reading through the comments some people do like dressing up nice and some don't.

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WynegardeMagifur

I prefer comfort with a little style for confidence. I usually dress in jeans with a t-shirt depicting either anime, pop culture, and Pride with my hair in small ponytail and headband. But sometimes I like to dress up a little with a nice semi-formal long sleeve dress shirt for a little boost of confidence. I mostly dress for myself, not to impress. 

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ElasticPlanet

I always wanted to be much more attractive, but it was out of reach.

 

Now I know what sexual attraction is, I can say that what I actually wanted was to be more aesthetically and romantically attractive. Now I know that it isn't the norm to resent being given a gender but even so there are quite a few of us feeling this way, I can see why I wanted to be more like the female people I knew, without ever quite wanting to be one of them. I'm finally able to start doing things that make me feel attractive in ways I never knew were possible before.

 

12 hours ago, Mollie said:

Do you dress more casually?

My problem with formal clothes is the whole telling-people-what-to-wear thing... and that the binary gendering is even stronger than it is for casual wear. I just try to make my casual stuff really good and really me.

 

12 hours ago, Mollie said:

How about now gender neutrally?

Thing is, the clothes that most people think of as gender neutral are almost the same as 'male' ones. As an amab person trying to be recognised as nonbinary, I need to deliberately push into femme territory before anyone will even notice. It's purely a matter of good luck that that's where I wanted to go anyway!

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Dreamsexual

If I had a magic wand I'd wave it and make myself super good looking and hyper fashionable and cool.

 

But looking good requires effort, motivation, money, time, youth, and good genetics - all of which I lack.  So I settle for comfort and functionality.

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Muir Caileag

I mean, I personally have little-to-no interest in my appearance. I used to wear a lot of makeup and do my hair nice, but that was just because.. well..

 

Actually I have no idea why I bothered :') Interesting question though! 

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natural blue

i only tend to wear things that are loose-fitting and black. the best way i can describe it: my clothes are like those large, black trashbags you see on the side of the road, and i'm the trash inside.

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AspieAlly613
2 hours ago, natural blue said:

i only tend to wear things that are loose-fitting and black. the best way i can describe it: my clothes are like those large, black trashbags you see on the side of the road, and i'm the trash inside.

I literally LOL'ed at this.

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AspieAlly613

And if it means anything, you're worth more to me than trash is.

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Kia Hiraeth

I like looking put together but I go for a practical look over sexy or girly. I feel like wearing a skirt and heels just leaves me too vulnerable to attack, if I can't defend myself from some pervert its not worth looking cute for. I do spend a little bit of time on make up and pull a brush through my hair so I don't scare off small children. My uniform is usually a dark wash pair of jeans or dress slacks and then I try to find tops in nice fabrics and colors but it all has to be something I can move easily in or its a no go.

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amat96
On 12/21/2018 at 9:04 PM, Mollie said:

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

 

Do you dress more casually?

 

How about now gender neutrally?

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

I'm the sort of person that just puts my hand in the wardrobe and picks up whatever t-shirt  and jumper I see first, I also always wear jeans. People saying that "you look handsome in this" or "you look nice with a beard" or whatever has exactly zero effect on what I wear and how I look, I don't dress to impress, I wear stuff that I feel comfortable in. Only time I wear other stuff is when there's a formal dress code and I have no choice.

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Evenstar

I'm also on the "I love to dress up" side of the boat. I'm really interested in fashion and have developed my own sort of unique style. I enjoy being able to express myself, "looking good" (for whatever it means to me,) and feeling good. I do it for me, not to solicit a reaction out of others.

Sometimes I think it might get me into unwanted trouble, however - meaning, as an asexual, I don't really interpret certain styles of types of clothes as "sexy" or being sexually provacative. (That is, unless, someone is wearing an extremely revealing/tight piece of clothing that intentionally draws attention to otherwise "sexual" areas of the body, such as to the genitals.)

Some people wear bold makeup and tight clothes and feel or intend to be "sexy," because that's what it is them. I do wear bold makeup and sometimes tight or partially revealing clothes, but I don't view it as or feel about it in a sexual way. I don't feel sexual at all. I don't think a partially revealed or naked body is necessarily always sexual, unless intentionally presented in an obvious and overwhelming sexual way. I look at style/fashion/the human body the same way I'd look at and study art or statues in a museum.

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Jules.2P

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

Depends on the situation. Sometimes I do dress up "sexy", but that depends on my mood and it's not because I want to catch someones eye. I am dressing up, beause I want to feel good and I think the look is pretty that moment. 

On the other side, when someone approaches me, it's another story, I get distant and shy and mostly flee out of the situation..

 

 

 

Do you dress more casually?

I do like comfy or pretty. I do like skirts or short pants, as long as my whole butt is covered. I like over-knee socks and hoodies or comfy pullovers. I don't do make up, so I would call my look casual. 

 

 

How about now gender neutrally?

my style changes every year.. some years ago I had an side cut and only wore pants and wide t-shirts...

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

As I said before, I do like to dress up, but just for myself. I dress myself different everyday and it depends on my mood what I want to wear. 

 

 

 

Edit: I do like to wear masculine deodorant tho. I think it smells nice, so I'm using it.

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blueyoshi

I can't speak for anyone else but I don't care about my appearance much. Obviously I'm hygienic but I usually dress casual and never wear makeup. I guess it's because I don't care if people find me physically attractive (and honestly I'd rather they not!)

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AussieIsAce

I think the fact I’m asexual has kept me younger in my appearance than other girls. 

I don’t wear makeup or slutty clothes. 

My female cousins have started dressing sexual and wearing makeup and I haven’t and have no interest in doing it. 

I think the fact that I’m not “sexual mature” has made me dress and look a certain way. 

I dress like a 14 year old boy.

 

i wear adidas tracksuit pants and Nike T-shirt’s with runners. If I go clubbing I’m in jeans and a T-shirt with some runners. Church I’ll wear a nice shirt, jeans and runners. 

 

I’m not ugly so it’s ok that I don’t wear makeup, but if I was ugly then I’d probably feel pretty shitty about looking and dressingnthe way I do. 

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MLJ
On 12/21/2018 at 2:04 PM, Mollie said:

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

 

Do you dress more casually?

 

How about now gender neutrally?

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

I don't like "dressing up" - I usually dress casually when I'm not working - but I do like feeling like I look "pretty." I always wear make-up, fix my hair, and try to dress nicely.

 

I don't like to look "sexy," and I imagine that is probably partly because I have no interest in attracting sexual or romantic attention. But I'm extremely introverted and generally don't like attracting attention period, so I don't think I'd dress in a sexy way even if I was a "normal" sexual.

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Madao

I don't know about others, but I am personally less concerned. I just pick up whatever is comfortable for me, and covers most of my skin, to avoid attention. I wish I could put more work in my appearance, but I am lazy and I don't want to spend my time on it. 

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Janus DarkFox

I don't have too much particular concern about personal appearances, as long as I have my hygiene and being somewhat presentable on the day to day.

 

Much more casual in a way and I'd like to dress more neutrally of more femininely as a male sex.  Even if it's just in private, I do enjoy wearing a dress or a skirt. :P

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