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Mollie

Are asexuals less concerned about their personal appearance?

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Mollie

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

 

Do you dress more casually?

 

How about now gender neutrally?

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

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Shieldmaiden WinterDragon

I cover as much skin as possible and bind my chest, I also cut my hair short so that it's hard to tell if I'm female or male. I don't wear anything feminine as it is so I don't get unwanted attention.

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Maya the Composer

I'm not sure if one could generalize that asexuals are less concerned, but I personally am less concerned.

 

I don't enjoy wearing "sexy" things, and I dress more conservatively than peers, and yes, I do dress more casually.

 

As a result, of not wearing short dresses or skirts or shorts or whatever girls these days wear, I do think I dress more neutrally gender-wise, and I do consider myself "gender neutral" in that I don't identify with male or female.

 

But I do enjoy dressing up on occasion and creating outfits that are "stylish" and "pretty." I just don't go for "attractive" or "hot."j

 

But yeah, those are very interesting questions, and I'm interested to hear what others think.

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Mollie

@Maya the Composer me too! I asked because I find myself just wearing pants and a button-down shirt everyday -- gravitating toward the practical aspects of a more "masculine" wardrobe. I definitely I identify as a woman, but "feminine" clothing tends to prioritize pretty over practical / comfortable.

 

Oh, and also I don't want anyone--especially at my office--thinking of me sexually. I just want people to think of me professionally or as a friend. And value my qualities other than sexiness.

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Galactic Turtle

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

 

Depends. Everyone has their own style. Most asexual people, regardless of how they feel about sex, do experience romantic attraction. On some level I imagine they wish to be seen as attractive to other people. Many people, regardless of sexuality, also enjoy a certain aesthetic typically influenced by what they do for a living, popular culture, or their personality. Some people want to look sexy even if they aren't interested in having sex that day or ever. They just want to look that way because that's what makes them feel good.

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

 

I do, personally, however I have a friend who isn't interested in having sex but still goes out in sparkly mini skirts and crop tops daily. She detests the attention she gets from men but that's the type of style she likes and she feels that changing her style purely to get boys to stop looking at her would be "losing to the patriarchy." Society should change, she insists, not her. I also share this sentiment. The only difference is that while society is slowly changing I'm far more inclined to do whatever I can to cover up from head to toe. 

 

Do you dress more casually?

 

No. I wear very good quality but muted clothes that just happen to cover my skin. It's a uniform of sorts.

 

How about now gender neutrally?

 

Yes. I am a woman but most of my clothes are made for men and come from places like Brooks Brothers, J Crew, or Jos. A Bank. I consider polo shirts, dress shirts, and turtlenecks to be gender neutral particularly because I buy them so they're not form fitting. 

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

 

I don't mind dressing up but I don't enjoy it just because if it's fancy odds are it's not very comfortable. Nevertheless, everything I wear provides maximum coverage so I'm fine going out in it.

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GoneForGood

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

I am not that concerned but I doubt it is related to my sexuality.

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

I dress for comfort and don't really care what others like or dislike about it.

 

Do you dress more casually?

I am very casual, I don't really own anything formal or fancy.

 

How about now gender neutrally?

No, I am very feminine

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

No, casual

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Guest

Like @Maya the Composer said, I can't generalize for all asexuals but personally I'm less concerned too. I cover as much of my body as I can. I wear a frick ton of layers. I love oversized clothing that makes me feel formless. Transparent, tight, short, etc clothing is out. Not a chance. The thought of someone finding me "sexy" makes me sick. I'll dress up when I must. Being aesthetically pleasing is nice but being found "sexy" and "hot" will make me want to die. I've never really been into my appearance. I've always been more concerned with my health. My hair products? To keep my hair healthy. My skin care routine? To keep my skin healthy. My slightly extra dental routine? You guessed it, to keep my teeth healthy. Not for appearance at all.

3 minutes ago, Mollie said:

gravitating toward the practical aspects of a more "masculine" wardrobe. I definitely I identify as a woman, but "feminine" clothing tends to prioritize pretty over practical / comfortable.

 

This describes my whole look to be honest. I just bought a pair of boys shoes (I has smol feet. I shop children's shoes.) and honestly, they are the best shoes I have ever owned. Girls shoes aren't as practical and aren't made as well.

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Knight of Cydonia

I don't think so. That would imply that people only dress up or try to look nice so that they're more sexually appealing. I think most people do it because it feels good to look nice.

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cucaruchis

I personally tend to dress nicely all of the time. I also enjoy wearing stuff that is considered sexy when I'm going out, because I love the way that it makes me feel confident and beautiful, even though I'm not interested in sex. My style is fairly feminine, but not overly so.

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PrismaticDream

I dress casually because many clothes are uncomfortable to me, and I don't want to look sexy.

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The Dryad

My vanity takes insult to that, lol.

 

seriously though, I'm not vain. (*Crosses fingers)

 

I just have a certain aesthetic and I follow fashion- not trends.

 

I know most people think when you dress up- you're dressing to impress in hopes of getting a date or a spouse, but I think when people dress up, they do it for different reasons- a job, or personal style. I enjoy gender neutral fashion- which is really popular these days with asymmetrical cuts or fits, or even oversized hoodies. But personally, when I dress up, I'm leaning towards "pretty" because it's my preference.

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Star Lion

Me personally, I care a whole lot about about my appearance. I like for people to appreciate my looks, so I wear outfits that I think are going to look really good. I honestly wished I looked better in general, but I seriously don’t take very good care of my face and it’s a mess with acne. One thing I don’t really care about these days though is whether I look “gay” or not. I think those are straight people problems. I only care whether the outfit actually looks good and I’m trying to move more and more out of what used to be my comfort zone.

 

As far as “sexy” clothing, I don’t know if that’s what I wear because I’m a guy. I like to wear Henley’s and v-necks so that might be considered along that category.

 

As a guy, I don’t really know how to dress gender neutrally without just looking like a straight up mess. I think I’ll try to dabble a little bit in the art of femininity the next time I’m replacing my wardrobe

 

But in the end, the goal is to look as “handsome” as possible :)

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Skycaptain

I don't "dress to impress", I dress to what I'm comfortable in, thus bare arms and no tie. 

Whilst I maintain appropriate hygiene standards (showers, deodorant, clean clothes twice daily etc), my hair is a touch wild, as @Snaodolph, posted in Iceland, and I'm not over-fussed about body weight.

 

As a whole I think that the asexual community take care to be presentable, clean and responsible. Maybe we show less flesh than non-aces looking for a partner, but otherwise we take the same care as everyone else 

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Vee.

I guess it depends on one's own personal tastes. I personally prefer looking more masculine and/or androgynous, mostly casual but sometimes I may find more "elaborate" (for lack of better terms) stuff interesting such as different goth/punk styles. 

I do not care for "sexy" stuff at all though and like others have said it would also make me feel sick to even be thought of in that way. Bleh.

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Camicon

T-shirts and jeans! T-shirts and jeans! T-shirts and jeans!

 

If I can't move freely in it then it has no place in my closet.

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andreas1033

I am more interested in wearing clothes that make me feel comfortable.

 

People may look at me, and think trampish, but i am not interested in there views on my clothes, my only interest in clothes, is what make me feel comfortable.

 

I do not dress down because i am asexual, its just that i do not wear the clothes i wear, for others. Maybe others whom are mostly sexual, assume, that everyone dressing up, assuming its something others want. Not me, i wear clothes, that make me feel comfortable.

 

Thats my only criteria for clothes, and some of my fav clothes, look like rubbish, but i keep wearing them, as its about being comfortable in them, for me.

 

So i do not dress intentionally down as i am asexual, to put people off liking me, i just wear clothes that make me feel comfortable.

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Lichley

The only thing I don’t really wear is revealing clothing, but that’s more to do with self-consciousness and the clothes feeling like they don’t fit the occasion...

 

Also, @Camicon T-shirt and jeans! T-shirt and jeans! T-shirt and jeans!

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Captain Jay

I generally don't put too much thought into how I look. Most of the time, I just make sure my hair is combed and my clothes fit. Mind you, this is probably due to how I try to avoid standing out in general, as opposed to not thinking about sexual attraction.

 

(Ironically, as I've mentioned before, it feels like I'm approached by people more often than usual. Usually it's just to ask for directions, but still.)

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McKayla

Obviously everyone is different, but I personalty don't care as much about my appearance, I don't want to look like i don't care at all but i don't wear things unless they are comfortable, and most of my clothes are from the mens section. I haven't worn a skirt or dress since like grade 3 and when it comes to pants I really only wear sweatpants cause that is how little I care, I don't even have any womans bottoms. I do like nice shirts and sweaters though (50 50 mens and womans), I make sure everything goes well enough together but I don't dress fashionably by any means. I want to look nice in my eyes and I don't want people to think I don't try, but I don't care about fashion.

Like my little powerpuff self over there, I care about cats more than fashion and I usually wear all black (covered in orange cat fur).

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Jona Rhys
21 minutes ago, Camicon said:

T-shirts and jeans! T-shirts and jeans! T-shirts and jeans!

Is this a song? If not, it should be.

 

45 minutes ago, Sleighcaptain said:

As a whole I think that the asexual community take care to be presentable, clean and responsible. Maybe we show less flesh than non-aces looking for a partner, but otherwise we take the same care as everyone else.

I second that. I don't think there's any scientific research but I believe asexuals tend to care a bit less about their appearance in the sense that many of us not all, don't try to look sexy (for obvious reasons). We're also more likely to opt for comfortable and functional clothing. That doesn't mean, however, that we look like we've never taken a shower in our lives!

 

It is important to note that clothing style is a behaviour. It is not an inherent part of asexuality as an orientation but a reaction to societal perceptions of clothing.

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Anthracite_Impreza

I am the least fashionable person in the world. If it ain't comfy and full of deep pockets, I ain't wearing it.

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ben8884

I don't really care about my appearance. I dunno if that has anything to do with my asexuality mind, I just don't really care.  

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Homer
1 hour ago, Sleighcaptain said:

my hair is a touch wild

Which one? :P

 

11 minutes ago, ben8884 said:

I don't really care about my appearance. I dunno if that has anything to do with my asexuality mind, I just don't really care.  

+1.

 

Also, I look like a pound of ground beef so no need to bother in the first place. If I fits, I wears. You can't turn spaghetti into tinsel :D

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Skycaptain

@Homer, IMO you fit the presentable, clean tidy normal person image 

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
2 hours ago, SithMaster WinterDragon said:

I cover as much skin as possible and bind my chest, I also cut my hair short so that it's hard to tell if I'm female or male. I don't wear anything feminine as it is so I don't get unwanted attention.

I think you look super cool so you're failing at not attracting attention in that sense, haha. You look like a badass who would be fun to go on a daring and dangerous adventure into a volcano with :P

 

2 hours ago, Mollie said:

Do you think asexuals are less concerned about their personal appearance that allosexuals?

 

If you don't want sex, do you shy away from dressing in ways others find sexy?

 

Do you dress more casually?

 

How about now gender neutrally?

 

Or, as an assexual, do you enjoy dressing up? Do you enjoy looking pretty or handsome?

I don't think there's any correlation between asexuality and being less concerned about personal appearance just from what I've seen around here. I've met many very attractive aces who obviously care about they look, but honestly the majority of sexual people who I meet clearly care very little about their appearance. Most of the people I meet in real life look exactly like every other person you'd meet..greasy hairy, no makeup, dirty clothes. People who give a toss about how they look are in the minority (around where I live I mean). So I think it's more a personality thing than a sexual orientation thing. Just my observation though. :)

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Polygon

I dunno, I've always just stuck with the style (clothes, hair, etc.) that I like. And I'm not special at all: If there are things I like there's often a whole bunch of other people that like those things, too. I don't imagine my asexuality plays a role in my aesthetic preferences at all. I try to look nice, but "nice" means different things to different people. I guess I care about how I look, insofar as it meets my personal standards? There's a difference between "carelessness" and "not necessarily tending to the norm". 

 

Also, where do I sign up for the "T-shirt and jeans" super squad? :D

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Alejandrogynous

My style could be described as both casual and gender-neutral, but that doesn't mean I'm sloppy or don't care about my appearance. I look good and I like it when people find me attractive. It has nothing to do with my asexuality. 

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Yeast

I don't use clothing to impress people. If I impress them ts going to be because of something inside me, not outside me.  I do know that I seem to attract a lot of feminine attention if I dress in a business suit and act assertive. However I wasn't after a date. I was trying to get a job. I got neither. Too bad. About the job. I couldn't care less about the date.  I wore whatever my parents provided me as a child but when I became an adult I settled into a wardrobe style that hasn't changed in decades. Old second hand shirts, an ancient sweater and jeans during the winter. Then I cut off the legs and wear shorts and t shirts all summer. I suppose I view my gender as masculine so I don't think I could ever be comfortable in a dress. A kilt maybe, but I would need the rest of the attire to match. That would be dressing up to me. In fact I detest this activity so much I really minded it when my coworkers were given those little identification tags to wear around their necks. The director asked me where mine was. It was in my pocket, thank you. You can look at it as much as you like. I keep myself clean enough to avoid offending anyone but I'm not fanatical about it. The country I exist in leaves me feeling it has a neurotic obsession with being spotlessly clean. Frankly I cherish my dirt. I'm just careful to keep it to myself.   

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Snao Cone

I put a lot of effort into looking as ugly as possible so people don't think I'm shallow or vain. It's really important to me to have people think highly of my modesty. 

 

Spoiler

(yes I'm kidding) 

 

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Philip027

I certainly am, and for me I do believe it is linked to me being asexual.  I don't *want* people to find me physically attractive.  If people are going to be attracted to me, I'd rather it be for other reasons.  I feel that if I weren't asexual, it would be a lot less likely that I would feel this way.

 

All I want is to feel comfy in what I'm wearing; I couldn't really care less how it looks.

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