Asexual Preferences (Quiz/Vote)

December 21, 2018

Quiz/vote to see asexual preferences, poll will never close.

December 21, 2018

Can you add a: have not but want to option?

December 21, 2018

1 hour ago, Kimmie. said:

Can you add a: have not but want to option?

Same for me.

I have never had a kiss other than the familial kind. Actually, I don't like kissing in such circumstances. In my family I'm just "the one who doesn't kiss". But I do feel a desire to kiss the woman I have a crush on. It still doesn't lead to other desires - I feel that I could never be OK with having sex, I will with all likelihood always remain sex-averse and nudity-averse and, in fact, I'm also averse to the very idea of not being sex-averse. But, anyway, I just can't answer the first question.

PS. The M word in question 2 (I dislike it and always use "self-pleasuring" / "samozaspokojenie" (POL) / "Selbstbefriedigung" (GER) instead) is spelled "masturbate". Please don't perpetuate incorrect spelling.

December 21, 2018

1 hour ago, Kimmie. said:

Can you add a: have not but want to option?

For which question?

Also, I don't get the sexual fantasies question. Why would an asexual person fantasise about something they don't want?

December 21, 2018

4 minutes ago, œddy said:

Also, I don't get the sexual fantasies question. Why would an asexual person fantasise about something they don't want?

I do fantasise. In third person. I enjoy it and at the same time I absolutely wouldn't want to have sex myself.

December 21, 2018

Most of my answers are much more complicated than yes or no

1. Do you like kissing?
Yes for mild kisses. Deep kissing etc only if I was talked into sexual activity, something I actively avoid now (I was raised to take care of other peoples wants even if it violated my needs)

2. Do you masterbate?(Sic)
Not really. Maybe 3-4 times a year. More frequently when I was younger due to a rare health condition where my body lied to me.

3. Do you have sexual fantasies?
Not really. Again in the past due to the odd physical disorder the thoughts were there but I actively avoid such things now.

4. Do you enjoy cuddling/non-sexual physical contact?
With people I trust absolutely.

5. Have you dated before?
Yes, even been in long term relationships

6. Have you ever had sex?
Yes, in a long term committed relationship and even casual (see above about doing what others want). I regret having any of those people in my life now. If I could go back and redo it I would stop setting myself on fire to keep other people warm.

December 21, 2018

28 minutes ago, œddy said:

For which question?

Also, I don't get the sexual fantasies question. Why would an asexual person fantasise about something they don't want?

1,4 and 5

And you can have fansies as long as you dont want to do it in real life.

December 21, 2018

.

December 21, 2018

1. Not really, never kissed anyone outside the family before. But it in general sounds gross. [Maybe lighter kisses are fine, but the stuff where people kiss with tongues sounds weird and disgusting! I don't want someone else's saliva in my mouth, eww!]

2. No, it is boring and doesn't give me any pleasure.

3. Nope, none at all. I do however have cake fantasies - fantasies about me eating cake. Mmm... cake... 🍰

4. Yes, if I'm imagining giving hugs to my OCs and favourite fictional characters (Friendly hugs, nothing romantic/sexual unless I have a romantic crush on them?) but in real life, generally nah it's awkward and i hate people in my personal space.

5. Nope, I can barely even make friends, because my social skills are just terrible. I don't really care for dating though, since I'm basically ace/aro to real life people, but ace/panromantic to fictional characters - (and I can just imagine the date/relationship between me + fictional character in my head, my imagination is pretty good 😂). Ever since I was little I did experience romantic "desires" (like the desire to hold hands and hug someone, but never anything past light non-sexual kissing on the lips/cheek) but just didn't feel any actual attraction to anyone in real life - I've only ever got romantically attracted to characters I made up or fictional characters.

6. Nope, never will, I would rather walk down a long hallway of lego bricks than ever have sex.

December 21, 2018

1. No, never done it romantically and don't really want to.

2. No

3. Not very often, but I have. They don't usually involve me, and never involve actually wanting sex.

4. Sometimes

5. No

6. No

December 22, 2018

1. Do you like kissing?

Never really kissed anyone, once on the cheek between close friends but never had my first kiss but someday I would like to.

2. Do you masturbate?

Yes, but only for relief purposes or urges 2-3X a week or less, not at all for pleasure.

3. Do you have sexual fantasies?

No, but I do visualize while masturbating something I am aesthetically attracted to about someone whether it be their smile, eyes, cleavage etc.

4. Do you enjoy cuddling/non-sexual physical contact?

Yes, immensely. I am a very affectionate person, really into hugs. Cuddling has to be with someone I truly trust.

5. Have you dated before?

Yes, regrettably it ended before it began due to the relationship being mentally abusive and very toxic. Been single happily for nearly 2 months.

6. Have you ever had sex?

No, I am curious about it but have no desire for myself to do it. But I would do it for someone I love as long as I have a strong emotional connection with said someone.

December 22, 2018

14 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

I do fantasise. In third person. I enjoy it and at the same time I absolutely wouldn't want to have sex myself.

I understand this. The fantasies are never about me but usually fictional characters in a book or movie.

December 22, 2018

18 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

1,4 and 5

And you can have fansies as long as you dont want to do it in real life.

I'll make some changes to those questions, and if anyone else has any suggestions for questions/edits be sure to tell me.

December 22, 2018

To be honest, these edits are rather imperfect. "No, but I want to sometime in the future" - it's not even a good, logically correct answer to a question about enjoying and not having done. The correct answer would be something like (which could be simplified and shortened): "I have no idea because I've never done it, but I believe that I could enjoy it and would like to try".

OK, my answers, as other people too are specifying them in their replies to the topic.

Ad 1. Here option C is the most correct. How can I know if I like kissing if I have never ever done it? At least when referring to romantic kisses only. OK - I explicitly don't like familial kisses. But I also have a desire to kiss a certain woman I know.

Ad 2. I do. For pleasure, not relief - I never feel "urges", but I may feel a willingness. Though I don't know why, because an orgasm is so weak that it's frustrating and, with my very slow tempo of arousal, it's really a waste of time - self-pleasuring is for those who can get it done in 15 minutes, not for those who need an hour...

PS. I hate the M word, for me it's brutal. I call it "self-pleasuring". But still, the M word is spelled with a U, not E.

Ad 3. Yes, in third person only.

Ad 4. Actually, here the incorrect understanding of the "No, but I want to sometime in the future" could apply. Usually, I don't. My social contacts are almost entirely devoid of physical contact - I only need to talk to my friends and family, I have no desire to touch them. But in the presence of romantic feelings I could be OK with hugging, I think so. Perhaps I'm "demisensual" - I may enjoy some physical contact after a bond has formed. But I still can't imagine not being terrified of sex and I wouldn't even want to be sex-capable and nudity-indifferent, it would make me no longer feel like myself.

Ad 5. I think I've clicked "no", but rather "...but I want to sometime in the future" would apply.

Ad 6. No. And I never ever want to.

December 22, 2018

1 - No, I've never kissed in a romantic context, and it doesn't appeal to me.

2 - Yes, mostly for relief, though it can be pleasurable.

3 - Yes, but I'm not involved in these fantasies. They're in the 3rd person.

4 - No, I dislike physical contact in general.

5 - No, though I would like to at some point; however, it is not a high priority.

6 - No.

December 22, 2018

1. No but I would like to someday if I found someone special.

2. Yes. I like the fantasizes that comes up then, the pleasure is meh.

3. Yes. But they never involve me. Atleast not in sexual ones.

4. No but i would like to the same as question 1.

5. No but I would like to someday.

6. No just no.

December 22, 2018

Moved to Census forum from Questions about Asexuality

Phoenix the II

Questions about Asexuality Moderator

December 23, 2018

20 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

To be honest, these edits are rather imperfect. "No, but I want to sometime in the future" - it's not even a good, logically correct answer to a question about enjoying and not having done. The correct answer would be something like (which could be simplified and shortened): "I have no idea because I've never done it, but I believe that I could enjoy it and would like to try".

Yeah, you're right. I couldn't find the right way to word it. To be perfectly honest it mostly makes sense for it just to be yes/no questions but people asked for extra choices. I'll word it like you so that it makes more sense.

December 26, 2018

No
No
No
No
No
No

December 30, 2018

1. Yes, with the right person. Just not so big fan of French kisses.

2. No.

3. Yes, but not about myself.

4. Very much, but only with people who have my permission to do so.

5. What is dating? I was in relationships.

6. Yes, quite a lot I must say. I don't feel anything special from the act itself, but I feel happy just by presence of someone I love and by knowing he enjoys it.

December 30, 2018

1. Never done it, it seems gross but I would be willing to try it

2. No

3. No

4. Definitely

5. No but I would like to

6. No and I would not like to EVER

December 30, 2018

"I believe that I could enjoy it and would like to try" is awfully specific; maybe some people think they could like it, but don't want to try? Or maybe they want to try it, but don't think they'd like it.

It would be great if "Never done it, and probably wouldn't like it" and "Never done it, and I have no idea if I would like it or not" could also be added to those questions.

December 31, 2018

1. Yes, sometimes. I'm not crazy about it like other people seem to be. But it can be fun, as long as it doesn't go on too long.

2. Yes. For both reasons.

3. Yes, but they never involve me. Always in the 3rd person.

4. Yes. Cuddling is okay. I really enjoy hugs, having my hair played with and back rubs more though.

5. Yes. I currently am and have had several partners in the past.

6. Yes, sort of? I've never had intercourse but have done sexual things multiple times in the past. To me it counts, but I guess some people would consider me a virgin. It's all confusing. Either way, I would prefer to never have it again.

January 6, 2019

1. Yes, quite a lot actually.

2. Yes, usually just relief though.

3. Yes, quite often. Helps speed up the relief, but I'd never even consider acting them out. Eugh.

4. Yes please!

5. Yes

6. Yes, and I do it regularly for my partner's sake... I'd rather be eating cake tho.

January 6, 2019

Sorry if TMI.

I have sexual fantasies, but they aren’t anything I’d want to act out. I only have them right before my period when I’m all hormonal and hungry. Any other time of the month it’s just boring.

January 6, 2019

All around No.

TMI

.

..

...

I used to masturbate and have sexual fantasies but since becoming ill all of that has disappeared, even though I'm recovering those feelings have not made a comeback.

July 9, 2019

On 12/21/2018 at 7:15 AM, GoneForGood said:

stop setting myself on fire to keep other people warm.

Wow I like this quote a lot. It can be applied to any situation, sexual or not.

July 17, 2019

I've kissed my boyfriend several times now, and I can't really decide whether I like it or not. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I really don't. That may just be mild touch-aversion at times though. I fantasise about kissing sometimes, so I probably like it. It's better in fantasy than in real life though.

July 18, 2019

There's a big difference from having a fantasy about something and wanting it in real life. That goes for other things than sex, too.

January 2, 2020

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Asexual Preferences (Quiz/Vote)