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Asexual relationship with infrequent sex?


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I am hetero-romantic, asexual. However! I do crave sexual connection at the very beginning, bonding part of a relationship. After that, I don't think of sex at all. I don't even masterbate. Maybe twice a year I'll crave sex, but the rest of time, there's nothing.

 

I think since my sexual craving is non-zero, I might be incompatible with ace men. But since I am generally asexual, I'm incompatible with other men too.

 

Is it common or uncommon for an Ace to have infrequent sexual craving? What about bonding with sex, but quickly losing interest in it?

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I wouldn't really call it a "craving" on either of our parts (in my book, a "craving" for sex with somebody else, even temporary, doesn't really point toward asexuality and would rather put one someone more on the grey spectrum, but I perfectly understand the notion of considering oneself "generally asexual" as well), but my partner and I have occasionally had sexual interactions.  This is primarily because even though she's ace, she actually does have some degree of a libido, and we're comfortable enough with each other that she's able to "share" it with me on occasion.  Normally I am not inclined to partake in anything sexual on my own, but I'm okay with this sort of thing happening because it's still a chance to do something together.  (Pretty much everything is better with her!)

 

Ace doesn't inherently mean opposed/repulsed to sex.  You might wanna try looking for people who are okay with it happening but are as equally okay if it doesn't -- they exist; my partner and I are two of them and we're far from being the only ones.  These people even exist among the sexual spectrum, although they're certainly proportionally far fewer compared to those among aces.

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Found 'em here on AVEN :wub:  Well, more she found me, but whatever.  We got married almost 4 months ago, in fact!

(AVEN is not officially a dating site, but that doesn't mean you can't potentially form connections with people anyway...)

 

There's still all sorts here, even among asexuals.  If you look around, you might find that a lot of them would not be as incompatible with you as you might think!

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