fetish Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 Ok, so hi... as the title says this is all very new to me. I’ve been with my partner for almost a year, and he recently confided in me, explaining he just doesn’t like sex. now... the thing is, he likes everything except penetrative sex and oral... I’ve had words with him about it, we talked about whether I could handle it as I’m a very sexually driven person. So I took some time away to educate myself on it all, what’s strange is that in that time I’ve realised I’m definitely Demi-sexual... so that was a shock. I’d never felt sexual attraction until I met my Significant other. i guess what I’m wondering is, if there’s a label for how he is? I mean, I don’t like to label things but I feel I’ll be able to understand what he wants and what I need to do to make us both happy if I’m able to do a little research on a specific type of Asexuality/Greysexuality... yeah. I guess I’m just struggling to come to terms with it all, but I wouldn’t let sex get in the way of us. hes exciting in the bedroom. He loves to experiment and try new things which I’ve never had before, so he satisfies me 110% 😂 but I suppose I just wanna understand him a little more, especially since he’s still a little confused himself. thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Agent_Smith Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 Does me mean that he's never sexually attracted to anyone, or that he simply doesn't enjoy the act? Also, have some cake 🍰! Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! He could be Asexual since an Asexual could still be okay with some sexual activities, and you say that he is. I don't know that I can help though, as in my case, I've never had or desired either sex or a relationship. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, Link to post Share on other sites
fetish Posted December 18, 2018 Author Share Posted December 18, 2018 1 minute ago, Agent_Smith said: Does me mean that he's never sexually attracted to anyone, or that he simply doesn't enjoy the act? Also, have some cake 🍰! He doesn’t enjoy the act, he’s sexually attracted to me he says. I had my doubts before he told me as we’ve never had sex, and with it being almost a year that worries me. But he reassures me every day and makes sure I know he loves me too. Thank you! ☺️😂 Link to post Share on other sites
fetish Posted December 18, 2018 Author Share Posted December 18, 2018 1 minute ago, MichaelTannock said: Welcome to AVEN! He could be Asexual since an Asexual could still be okay with some sexual activities, and you say that he is. I don't know that I can help though, as in my case, I've never had or desired either sex or a relationship. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, Thank you for your lovely welcome 😂 and thank you for your input, it’s very helpful ☺️ Link to post Share on other sites
fetish Posted December 18, 2018 Author Share Posted December 18, 2018 Hi guys, so I can’t believe it, but I found this website like 2 hours ago, posted less than an hour ago and already found a term I believe matches my SO :- Placiosexual - When one feels little to no desire to receive sexual acts but expresses interest/desire in performing them on someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
anisotrophic Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 someone can be asexual, but sex-indifferent -- and motivated not by sexual desire, but by a desire to see their partner happy. It's also helpful to distinguish between romantic and sexual attraction as being separate things -- and whether attraction is actually including sexual attraction, or if it's confusing romantic attraction with sexual. On the other hand: Stone butch lesbians are a group that are sexually attracted to giving but not receiving, and maybe he's like that. I don't think they consider themselves asexual... but that they experience desire, but only to give. I think placiosexual is like this outside lesbian context? There's also the distinction between attraction and lack of it, vs. repulsion and lack of that. Like a car: it can have gas and brakes. Most people have some gas and some brakes. Asexuality is "no gas". One thing to consider is whether he initiates and wants to have (or give) sex (sounds sexual) ... or you always initiate and he's agreeing to it, but is generally a bit stressed or unenthusiastic and has trouble getting into it (sounds more ace). Link to post Share on other sites
fetish Posted December 25, 2018 Author Share Posted December 25, 2018 On 12/18/2018 at 12:39 PM, anisotropic said: someone can be asexual, but sex-indifferent -- and motivated not by sexual desire, but by a desire to see their partner happy. It's also helpful to distinguish between romantic and sexual attraction as being separate things -- and whether attraction is actually including sexual attraction, or if it's confusing romantic attraction with sexual. On the other hand: Stone butch lesbians are a group that are sexually attracted to giving but not receiving, and maybe he's like that. I don't think they consider themselves asexual... but that they experience desire, but only to give. I think placiosexual is like this outside lesbian context? There's also the distinction between attraction and lack of it, vs. repulsion and lack of that. Like a car: it can have gas and brakes. Most people have some gas and some brakes. Asexuality is "no gas". One thing to consider is whether he initiates and wants to have (or give) sex (sounds sexual) ... or you always initiate and he's agreeing to it, but is generally a bit stressed or unenthusiastic and has trouble getting into it (sounds more ace). It tends to be him that initiates it, sometimes it’s me but lately it’s been me very rarely as I wouldn’t want him feeling pressured. But I’ve talked to him about this and he says he enjoys it just as much as I do, if not more? Link to post Share on other sites
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