How do I tell my parents that I'm asexual?

[bella.lib]

I am a junior in high school and I've been pretty sure I am ace for a few years now. Some of my close friends know I'm ace but no one in my family has a clue. The only reason more of my friends don't know about it is that I hate saying it. I am comfortable with my identity but saying it (or even typing it) is awkward for me. Over the past few weeks, I have decided that I need to tell my parents (because them not knowing is causing a whole string of other issues that I'm not going to get into right now because they are completely unrelated). I don't know how to tell my parents is the problem and I feel like it will be even more awkward to tell my parents than anyone else I ever end up telling. I also do not want them to ask me how I know I'm ace because that is not something I want to explain especially to my parents. PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE LET ME KNOW ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NickyTannock]

Welcome to AVEN!

 

Maybe this will help? http://www.whatisasexuality.com/family-and-friends/parents/

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake,

[letusdeleteouraccounts]

Hey me and you are the same age 😁 but I get what you’re saying. The asexual just sounded so cringy to me when I first came out. It took a lot of getting used to and saying the word to different before I became comfortable with it. I would say you could either wait until a moment comes up regarding your sexual/romantic orientation to tell them or just straight up tell them “Hey, I want to tell you something. I’m asexual.” You likely will have to explain it to them and it’s a lot more comfortable to do over text message. If they ask how you know, just say that you’ve never felt sexual attraction and that you’re different from your peers

[Biblioromantic]

I'd be really, really careful about coming out as anything before you're legally an adult and living out from under their thumbs. Like, for reals. When I came out to my parents, they stopped speaking to me for six months, and I'm 37 years old living on my own. The consequences of you being ace for them are minimal at this point, but for you, the consequences of them not approving or not understanding or not accepting your identity could be pretty catastrophic. So my advice would be to wait it out for a while. Just shrug off the comments about dating or having future babies or whatever and leave it alone for now. There's plenty of time and space for them to react to your revelations after you've left the nest. And there's zero pressure to come out from other aces, unlike there was for gays in the 70's and 80's, when coming out was a political statement. So just be safe and wait.

 

And welcome to AVEN! We're glad you found us! 

[Sally]

If you think about it very carefully and decide that you must tell your parents, the simple way to do so is to say "I don't feel any need to have sex."  If you say it that way, they won't  get confused.  

[secrethamster]

You know your family better than the rest of us. Would they have any reason to disapprove for religious or cultural reasons? If so you should decide how strongly they may react and address those first. In general, you should be prepared to explain the vocabulary and how this affects whatever issues you mentioned are being caused by it. They will have questions and if you want to tell them you'll likely have to endure some frustrating comments, i.e: 

 

How do you know/you aren't old enough/haven't met the right person yet -> You know yourself better than anyone else. Things could change in the future, but don't plan on it.

 

Is this a side effect of some condition/you should get help/hormone stuff -> Asexuality has many causes but it doesn't matter as long as you are content with your situation. You don't need to try to "fix" something that isn't a problem, and for some (probably most) people it is a true orientation that cannot be changed.

 

Be prepared to talk about awkward topics and be patient. In the meantime, welcome and have some cake 

[AcornCarvings]

For my parents I avoided using the word asexual, or making it too big of a deal.

I tried just saying stuff like "I'm not really into people that way" or "Yeah, I don't really feel the need to have sex" or "I dont feel that type of attraction to people"

I got a bit of pushback and my mom didnt really listen to me or take it to heart, but at least they didnt freak out, and I broached the topic to them

 

since I dont know your situation I cant give you any super solid advice, but in general just be cautious, and don't be too surprised if it takes time or if they aren't super respectful or accepting.