Confusion all over again

[Mae 🌼]

Sooo It's been almost a year since officially discovering the term aromantic and deciding it fit me and almost a year later I find myself just as confused as I've been for the last 3 years.

 

My best friend recently made some advances on me which I mentioned before and which I'm kind of okay with and kind of like it. However I still can't help but feeling confused.

I can tell that I care for them so so much, they are the most important person to me. But still, I don't think my feelings are quite romantic and I still absolutely can't see me being in or wanting an actual relationship. 

 

So I'm left thinking where does this make my romantic orientation sit?

Am I leading them on?

 

Just what exactly am I doing lol

[Kimmie.]

I don't much at all about this but platonic relationship is a thing. 

[Hermy]

I don't know exactly what you're talking about but have you considered that maybe your happy about "advances" because it means that your friend likes you? Maybe you're just so happy to know that someone would do such things for you?

There are such things as platonic crushes, they're called squishes and that might be the case with this. But really as long as you feel like aromantic is the term that explains your orientation then flaunt it. If you feel like you want something more specific or think it might be something else then look around and label yourself whatever you want - as long as it makes you comfortable it doesn't matter what it is.

[argar]

Everybody likes the feeling of being "wanted."

 

I think in your case maybe  you are enjoying this feeling, but are also having to deal with the fact you do not "want" this person in the same manner.

 

In my opinion communication is key in everything.

 

As much as it might suck for this individual to have a conversation on all your misgivings, I think it is important to have it.

 

Let them know where you stand, and find out what their expectations are.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Have a beautiful day.

[ally31098]

I don't think what you described is contradictory at all. As others have said, you can be fine with having advances made on you, but at the same time not want a normative relationship.

Honestly, I feel the same way: Not wanting  relationship but something more of a "partner" or a "really close friendship that is also somehow comitted if they want to"

My reccomendation is always: talk about what they want, try imagining yourself in different scenarios and try getting clear about wha you're willing to give and what you would like to get in return.

Good Luck, I wish you all the best!