windfleurett Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 I've been lurking for awhile and finally convinced myself to make an account and post. I'm not so good at sharing stuff 😅 but reading everyone's posts here has helped me a lot so I felt I should share too. I first heard about asexuality a couple years ago when I came across a short comic about it and was like "hey that sounds like me," and just went on with my life and didn't think much else about it until recently. I wouldn't ever say it's something that I've always known but rather I had no idea that others didn't feel the same way as I did about sex and the like. My friends and I never talked about that stuff so all I really had to go off of was books and movies which I had just thought were exaggerated for entertainment purposes (turns out they're not). When it came to relationships I always just did what I thought I was supposed to do or was expected to. I never enjoyed it or got anything out of it but I just assumed that was normal. When I met my now fiance I continued on the same path but finally started to question things because it turned into something long term and we would actually talk about these things. We've been together almost 9 years. I didn't think it was anything and carried on. Recently we've been having some problems which I'm not going to get into right now but it made me really start to question things and I remembered the comic so I started to do some research and came across this site. It all became totally clear to me and I was like yup this is it. Everything in my life suddenly made so much sense. I've opened up to my fiance about things a lot more than I ever have. I haven't used the actual word asexual yet with him and I don't know if I ever will, I'm not one for labels anyway. It felt good to be honest with him and myself. He says he's okay with it and that there are more important things in life than sex. I also know that in some ways he won't ever be okay with it and probably won't totally understand but he's been super supportive which kind of surprised me. Anyway this turned into a novel sorry! If you stuck with me I thank you! I look forward to getting to know others here on AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
RosePhoenix Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 Hello and Welcome!! Have some cake🍰🎂 Also this: 11 minutes ago, scarletflash said: I wouldn't ever say it's something that I've always known but rather I had no idea that others didn't feel the same way as I did about sex and the like. My friends and I never talked about that stuff so all I really had to go off of was books and movies which I had just thought were exaggerated for entertainment purposes (turns out they're not). is totally relatable. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 @scarletflash Welcome to AVEN! Don't worry about the length of your post. I'm happy your partner is supportive, even if you haven't used the word, Asexual. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, Link to post Share on other sites
windfleurett Posted December 13, 2018 Author Share Posted December 13, 2018 @RosePhoenix thank you! Ahh it feels so nice to have someone be able to relate to me for once haha @MichaelTannock thank you! I am glad too though I still have my worries! But I hope we can continue as we have up till now since nothing's really changed, he's always know how I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Juliatransdress Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 Welcome to AVEN :) Link to post Share on other sites
windfleurett Posted December 13, 2018 Author Share Posted December 13, 2018 @Enzic thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 Welcome! Don’t worry about your post being too long, some welcome posts are over 10 paragraphs! Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted December 16, 2018 Share Posted December 16, 2018 Hi and welcome Thank you for signing up and stopping by! You've come to the right place - AVEN is a wonderful community with lots of friendly and supportive folks from all over the planet. A lot of us will be able to relate to your thoughts and feelings! It's good to read that you've been open and honest with your spouse. Honesty is key! Personally I don't think that mentioning that word is necessary as long as you get the message across. Did you check out Asexual Relationships yet? It's where we talk about how being asexual (or somewhat close to that) affects our everyday relationships, be them familial, platonic or romantic. If you want to have a look at the other side of the equation, For Sexual Partners, Friends And Allies is the place to be! Take your time to read and rummage through all the forums and if you have a question, ask away! I hope you'll enjoy being a part of AVEN Link to post Share on other sites
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