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gender?


Kasper17

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Hello!

 i m not sure what gender exactly i am. i thought  i was genderqueer but i want to be more masculine than feminine or neutral.  when people say im pretty i say thank you and smile but inside i want to be called handsome. when people call me boy i am happy. but if girl im bit sad but sometimes neutral. but  i cant be transgender FTM because i want to have children in future and im okay with my vagina. but i m planning to have top surgery in 2 years.(dysphoria)

 

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52 minutes ago, Kasper17 said:

Hello!

 i m not sure what gender exactly i am. i thought  i was genderqueer but i want to be more masculine than feminine or neutral.  when people say im pretty i say thank you and smile but inside i want to be called handsome. when people call me boy i am happy. but if girl im bit sad but sometimes neutral. but  i cant be transgender FTM because i want to have children in future and im okay with my vagina. but i m planning to have top surgery in 2 years.(dysphoria)

 

You don't need bottom surgery to be trans masc. Even if you take testosterone there is a chance (does anybody know how large?) to get pregnant after stopping taking testosterone, but it may also render you infertile. I know a trans man who wants to have children in future but nonetheless transitions.

 

But you are also 100% valid trans masc if you decide to not take hormones. Would socially transitioning to male help you? Maybe your way is to socially transition and wait with hormones until you have children or take the risk of getting infertile by taking testosterone. This is something you have to think about.

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Just Somebody

There's alternative fertility treatments like taking "feminine" hormones and having surgery to preserve your gametes,  depending on the laws you can hire an surrogate person to gestate the kids for you, it's advisable for you to do such procedures before being on hrt for too long.

 

 

You can also live as a pregnant man if you feel safe to do so, you can even Google "pregnant Trans men" and you'll find some motivational stories. 

 

 

Anyway. ..

 

Gender identity are just words you feel more comfortable for whatever reasons being referred as at the moment or the box you feel more comfortable and better represented being inside as the moment.... that's it, pretty simple.

 

 

 

Gender expression is what other people get to perceive on you (your behaviors,  your name and pronouns,  your body and biological sex,  your clothes, etc)

 

Now it's all about only you to figure out....

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On 12/11/2018 at 10:19 AM, Kasper17 said:

i thought  i was genderqueer but i want to be more masculine than feminine or neutral.

You can totally be a mostly masculine genderqueer person! A tomboy can be a masculine girl, and a man can be masculine or neutral or feminine, so why couldn't you be masculine? You could go by he/him and boy/man and still be genderqueer. What's important is what feels best.

 

On 12/11/2018 at 10:19 AM, Kasper17 said:

i cant be transgender FTM because i want to have children in future and im okay with my vagina.

Surprise! Yes you can! For one, bottom surgery is super expensive and stressful so not a lot of FTM/trans men get it. For two, body parts don't matter when it comes to gender unless it's important for you as a man to not have a vagina.

 

Since it's not, you could totally be a genderqueer guy and a birth dad! You don't have to keep calling yourself a girl or anything just because you want to have a baby and don't hate all of your body parts.

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  • 11 months later...

hello! iknow its a year later but im still so scared of what people think and that i wont find anyone like a love. Because im kind of diffrent.  iknow people say thats nonsense but im really concerned and i feel really lonely everyday. scared of not acceptance and violence.

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@Kasper17 It's not nonsense. It's okay to be scared. The world is a scary place sometimes. That's why we need to find pockets of acceptance, social bubbles in which people accept you. I think it's important for you to find people who are like you offline, so you don't feel so lonely anymore. Online connections can only get you so far in the end.

I don't know if this is the same in the country you are from, but here there are transgender support groups you can join. I think they could really help you feel better about yourself. You wouldn't necessarily have to tell anyone that you are going to such a support group. It would just be for you to privately explore how you feel.

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