Sign in to follow this  
newconfusedbutthriving

I feel sexual attraction but I hate sex!

Recommended Posts

newconfusedbutthriving

HI guys!

 

I'm super duper new to this whole asexuality thing; and i have but a few questions about it.

I have been in previous relationships before that were sexual, but I was always terrified of having sex with someone. I knew deep in my heart that i didn't like sex, but I also thought that I was supposed to enjoy it. Anyways, I always did it for the other person, because I wanted to please them. 

 

I'm now dating another boy, and he is the most amazing boy I've ever met seriously. we are absolutely so compatible in every single way, I want to say he's my soul mate!

Anyways,

I was seriously wanting to have sex with him because I guess weirdly, the most sex i had i had this odd sensation for it afterwards, even though I knew I felt strange about it at the same time, which is SUPER confusing to me.

 

We had sex a little while ago, and after we did, we both felt super oddly strange. I was his first time mind you, but we felt like the sex had hurt us emotionally, and we felt super distant after. Before we had sex, we did a loooooot of foreplay, because we both enjoy engaging in that way. we both think it's super intimate and vulnerable and loving, but we don't like sex. Are we both asexual? Helpppp

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MichaelTannock

@newconfusedbutthriving If you experienced the desire to have sex with another person, then you wouldn't be Asexual, but you might be Greysexual.

 

You might find this post helpful if you haven't read it already,

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake,

ZWughhv.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Star Lion

I don’t believe so. There are many people who feel sexual attraction but don’t like sex. Whether you like sex or not is only a preference. Asexual have never desired sex from anyone but some asexuals like how sex feels physically and/or emotionally. That said, you can be a regular sexual person and not enjoy sex or the idea of it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Serran

Maybe you dont like sex traditionally. Maybe you would rather use hands or mutual masturbation etc. I hate sex as in penetration. Not everyone likes it. Try not going beyond foreplay or only using hands etc if you enjoyed that and see if that stops the feeling ?

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MrDane
8 hours ago, newconfusedbutthriving said:

HI guys!

 

I'm super duper new to this whole asexuality thing; and i have but a few questions about it.

I have been in previous relationships before that were sexual, but I was always terrified of having sex with someone. I knew deep in my heart that i didn't like sex, but I also thought that I was supposed to enjoy it. Anyways, I always did it for the other person, because I wanted to please them. 

 

I'm now dating another boy, and he is the most amazing boy I've ever met seriously. we are absolutely so compatible in every single way, I want to say he's my soul mate!

Anyways,

I was seriously wanting to have sex with him because I guess weirdly, the most sex i had i had this odd sensation for it afterwards, even though I knew I felt strange about it at the same time, which is SUPER confusing to me.

 

We had sex a little while ago, and after we did, we both felt super oddly strange. I was his first time mind you, but we felt like the sex had hurt us emotionally, and we felt super distant after. Before we had sex, we did a loooooot of foreplay, because we both enjoy engaging in that way. we both think it's super intimate and vulnerable and loving, but we don't like sex. Are we both asexual? Helpppp

If you both enjoy some things and not other things, then go with the flow. Talk, consider and ask sometimes, if any of you would like more than the foreplay-ish stuff. 

 

...and dont judge him on his first time. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AceyMacey

It sounds like you're sex repulsed. Since asexual is the lack of sexual attraction, and you have sexual attraction, I doubt you're asexual. That being said, it sounds like you and your boyfriend feel pretty similarly, so you could try different things to see what works for you to satisfy the sexual attraction.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tunes

Like others have said, experiencing sexual attraction means that you are not asexual. But again, there is nothing wrong with not liking sex the way it's normally done. If you both enjoy foreplay, then just stick with that. You can try experimenting with more traditional things now and then if one of you feels that you might have changed your mind and might enjoy it, but if you don't enjoy it, that's perfectly ok too. You can also try researching sexual kinks online (like roleplaying or bdsm or whatever else exists out there) and see if anything catches your interests. If so, give it a try and see if you like it - if so, yay! and if not, then that's fine too. Sex is pretty personalized for people anyway, from what I understand, so just see what works for the two of you. And if you really can't find anything, there might be a type of grey-sexual category that you might fall into, but it doesn't really matter that much. As long as both of you are happy, the goal has been achieved. :) Even if you are not asexual, sex is not a necessity for a healthy relationship. Just do whatever works for the both of you. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this