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I don't want to believe I'm Aromantic


EmeraldAce

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I just recently realised that I'm asexual and then I started to think about what I'm attracted to, after weeks of thinking I just can't think of any time I've had romantic feelings for anyone. I really want to be romantically attracted to people but I just don't. I've always thought stuff like "oh he/she/they is cute but that's it. I just don't want to believe I am Aromantic, Maybe it's just cause i'm a introvert and don't meet a lot of people, but I don't know. I would really like some input.

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I saw the title of this thread and I just came to say that I relate. I'm basically in the exact situation as you.

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I don't think that's really something to worry about at 15. Just take it one day at a time - things can look totally different in a couple of months or even weeks. If they don't, it's just as fine :)

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I agree with Homer. It could also be possible you'll (only) fall in love if you know someone for a very long time. That "love at first sight" thing is really strange in my opinion.
So don't despair. Even if you turn out to be aromantic in the end it's perfectly okay and you will find your way, I'm sure.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm in a similar situation. What I'm doing is looking into romantic orientation in my free time and practicing positive self-talk. That's what works for me take it with a grain of salt 😛

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ButterflyBlues

Currently I'm identifying as demiromantic. I can't recall a time when I felt romantically attracted to someone but I want to date someone and potentially get married. To me personality matter more than appears and I'm attracted to characters, not the actors/actresses themselves. It is perfectly fine to be aromantic.  There is nothing wrong with it! 😊

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Moved from Asexual Relationships to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations

 

Gareki

Moderator for Asexual Relationships

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I'm in a similar place. I don't know if I'm Demi-romantic, aromantic, grey romantic, or what have you. What I've found helpful is working on accepting not knowing and being open. Romantic orientations are really hard to figure out because they aren't as clear and people have trouble describing them. So I know it's hard but try to find ways to be okay with not being certain about your orientation and focus on figuring out what you want. If you want to try and date, go for it. If you want to wait and see if anything comes up on it's own, do that. If you don't want to date people, then don't. I'd never had a crush until my final year of High school, and I haven't had one since, so things may change, they may stay the same. Just try to focus on self-exploration and self-acceptance 💜 You've got this. 

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AroaceScriptette

I class myself as aromantic asexual and it was both the best and worst discovery. 

 

I think a lot of aromantics have felt that way - i certainly do. I tell myself that sexuality and romantic attraction are / can be fluid so i believe that my aromanticism may just fit for now and may change later.

 

You dont have to label yourself. You dont have to have one label forever. We a change and grow and develop. You are valid however you identify. 

 

Im here if you have any other questions :) ive been identifying as aroace for 4 years now :)

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The first time somebody suggested to me that I could possibly be aromantic, I just flat out refused to believe it. I thought they were crazy! They clearly didn't know a thing about me or what I wanted in life!

 

It wasn't until I started doing research on attraction and started to learn the difference between romantic and platonic relationships that I finally began to take that suggestion seriously. I didn't want to believe I was aromantic because I knew that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone- I've always felt the need to be close to someone- but knowing that platonic relationships are a thing, and that they can be just as deep and meaningful as romantic relationships (minus all the uncomfy stuff, like making out) really helped me to come to terms with it. If you don't want to force yourself to be romantically interested in people who you're not, but still want a partner who you can be close to, just remember that that special person doesn't necessarily have to be a "romantic" partner! ;)

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Thanks for everyones reassuring messages. I think I just don't wanna except it cause I've always had the dream to have a child and feel the love of a newborn baby when I first see them and first get to hold them, to watch them grow along side my partner and just live a "normal" life. But maybe that's just what i've always been expected of me. A few monthss ago I walked into my aunts house for a family dinner wearing a nice dress and heels, my grandpa walks up to me and says "you should go to church and find a nice guy to settle down with and have children with" which kinda annoyed me cause 1: maybe I don't want to marry a guy 2: maybe I don't want to marry anyone 3: I'm 15, why would I do that when I could go to school and have a career. Sorry about the rant that just really upset me especially cause my aunt is like 45 and never got married, never had kids, she has a dog and a good career and that's all she needs (her dog is 16 in human years, partially blind, and most likely wont live much longer). I'm gonna stop typing now, lol, you didn't need to know my life story.

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Nothing wrong with being Aromantic, I have the best friend ever, who loves me for who I am in that nice friend way! I'd never give that up for any romantic relationship.

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4 hours ago, Agent_Smith said:

Nothing wrong with being Aromantic, I have the best friend ever, who loves me for who I am in that nice friend way! I'd never give that up for any romantic relationship.

Literally, I love my platonic humans so much that I really don't see what benefit having a relationship would add! I think maybe on some level, somewhere I maybe want a relationship? But like, I want a puppy more so #priorities 

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On ‎12‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 10:59 AM, Muir Caileag said:

Literally, I love my platonic humans so much that I really don't see what benefit having a relationship would add! I think maybe on some level, somewhere I maybe want a relationship? But like, I want a puppy more so #priorities 

 

puppies are adorable, bunnies are too

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