I am insecure and confused

[Sebastian The Bat]

I have been questioning my gender identity for as long as I could remember. 

 

There have been a few times where I have tried to be open about how I feel and my identity but I just stopped because of my insecurities about other people judging me and such. 

 

I have been wanting to be open about how I feel for so long and I keep telling myself to wait for the right time to do so.

 

Recently I have been trying to be more open. I have been talking to a few supportive friends about how I feel and all that. 

 

At this point I don’t even know if I want to put a label on everything. I really like the term genderqueer, I know it is an umbrella term but it has a certain ring to it that I like for some reason. 

 

I’m also worried about my SO judging me and saying that I’m just doing everything for attention.

 

I am not exaggerating when I say that in elementary school i identified myself as “anything but a girl” or “not a girl” 

 

I have at some point tried to label myself as Demi-girl, Genderfluid and bigender but now after a while of thinking and confusion nothing really resonates with me except for “genderqueer” but that’s more of an umbrella term.

 

I am sorry that this is all over the place, I don’t really know what else to say.

 

[Bloc]

All this sounds like gender queer describes you best. Why do believe you need a more specific term for your gender? The beauty of gender queer in my opinion is that it's not rigidly defined and you can find your own way to be gender queer. Maybe you will find a label which fits you better in future, but it is perfectly fine if genderqueer is yours.

 

For me genderqueer and non-binary are the only labels which fit completely because they are umbrella terms. if I want to be more specific then the labels seem only to fit partially in different degrees, let it be agender, gender fluid or trans.

[Sebastian The Bat]

1 hour ago, Bloc said:

All this sounds like gender queer describes you best. Why do believe you need a more specific term for your gender? The beauty of gender queer in my opinion is that it's not rigidly defined and you can find your own way to be gender queer. Maybe you will find a label which fits you better in future, but it is perfectly fine if genderqueer is yours.

 

For me genderqueer and non-binary are the only labels which fit completely because they are umbrella terms. if I want to be more specific then the labels seem only to fit partially in different degrees, let it be agender, gender fluid or trans.

I have heard from a friend that you can’t use an umbrella term to define your gender because it’s not a gender, it’s an umbrella term. Now that I actually type this out I realize that it is silly and untrue.

 

thank you for your input. 

[Bloc]

Glad that my answer was helpful.

 

One thought just jumped into my mind: Aren't also man and woman umbrella terms as there are so many different ways to be one?

[kaysir]

1 hour ago, Lily the unicorn said:

I have heard from a friend that you can’t use an umbrella term to define your gender because it’s not a gender, it’s an umbrella term.

Plenty of people use it that way! If it's the best way to describe your gender, it's all you need. You know what you mean by it and that's what's important.

[Sebastian The Bat]

30 minutes ago, Bloc said:

Glad that my answer was helpful.

 

One thought just jumped into my mind: Aren't also man and woman umbrella terms as there are so many different ways to be one?

Yes. I suppose so

[Just Somebody]

Gender identity are just words you feel more comfortable for whatever reasons being referred as at the moment or the box you feel more comfortable and better represented being inside as the moment.... that's it, pretty simple.

 

 

 

Gender expression is what other people get to perceive on you (your behaviors,  your name and pronouns,  your body and biological sex,  your clothes, etc)

 

 

 

It's OK to use genderqueer , gender-non-comforming or other umbrella terms as long as you feel comfortable with these words being referred to you .

[no-longer-in-use]

On 12/7/2018 at 10:18 PM, Lily the unicorn said:

I have heard from a friend that you can’t use an umbrella term to define your gender because it’s not a gender, it’s an umbrella term. Now that I actually type this out I realize that it is silly and untrue.

 

You're right that it's untrue. If you want to simply identify as genderqueer, nobody can stop you. Go for it. It's a valid gender identity.

[Colonel_Cookie]

Hi, I'm new. I'm 13 and seriously questioning my gender/sexuality with the few friends I have that accept me. I'm not sure what to call myself. transgender (FtM) is what I came out as at school but I don't completely want to give up the female side of me. And gender fluid I think describes me but switching in between the genders . . . I guess genderqueer although I can't see myself with no gender. I barely know any terms--I only learned about this stuff recently, so I'm not quite sure what I am. What do you people think?

 

Also, I don't know how to tell my parents about how I feel (they don't know me as anything other than female) because my mom's cancer has torn my family apart. Parents are arguing all the time. I'm a depressed only child keeping to myself (which I would be depressed anyway because, ya know, dysphoria) and I don't want to cause any more problems. What is the best way to do it?

 

Thanks