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Bisexual/-romantic vs. Pansexual/-romantic


Miss_Bookworm

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Miss_Bookworm

Okay, so in my schools' GSA meeting today, one of the topics that were brought up was about the difference between Pansexual/-romantic vs. Bisexual/-romantic.

Our president said she believed that both groups are able to have an attraction to anyone, but yet there is still some distinction between them.

 

So then me and my friend were talking (She's Bisexual and I'm a Panromantic Ace) and we thought about the question. I knew that I could care less about a person's gender, and most of the time I see their personality or other qualities before gender. She said that she sees the person's gender as a factor right away, along with the personality, etc.

 

We asked my other pan- friends (A Pansexual and a Panromantic Demi) and they found that they felt the same way as I did and that the whole idea made sense to them.

 

I just wanted to see if anyone else found that this was the case for them, or they had a different one.

 

Thanks!

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letusdeleteouraccounts

Bi is a person who’s attracted to 2 gender identities, Pan is a person who is attracted to all gender identities, and Poly (not polyamory) is a person who sees themself as attracted to more than 2 gender identities but not all

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I think gender is a factor for me first because other qualities appeal to me more based on gender, and I'm not sure why. I'm more attracted to women if there's something masculine about them, and more attracted to men if they're feminine. This is a factor even with making friends, I like all my geeky, rugby playing female friends, and like all my male, knitting, cooking, prissy friends.

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Wolf_Dragon303

The definitions I’ve seen is

bi - two genders (men and women, women and enby, etc), noticing gender 

Poly - multiple genders but not their own gender

pan- all regardless of gender

Omni - all but notices gender 

 

in reality they largely overlap and people have different definitions. As long as something suits you, then don’t worry too much about it

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everywhere and nowhere
45 minutes ago, Wolf_Dragon303 said:

Poly - multiple genders but not their own gender

Isn't it rather "multiple, but not all, genders"?

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Wolf_Dragon303
59 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said:

Isn't it rather "multiple, but not all, genders"?

Could well be. Like I said, the definitions are variant, and it can change from person to person

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While a common, possibly the most common, definition of bi is "attraction to only 2 genders" another common definition is "genders like and unlike my own" which is synonymous with pan in how it includes all genders.

 

I personally go by pan but have strong preferences for genders and always notice gender when being introduced to a person. I know bisexuals with little to no preferences who pay no mind to gender.

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everywhere and nowhere
7 hours ago, kaysir said:

While a common, possibly the most common, definition of bi is "attraction to only 2 genders" another common definition is "genders like and unlike my own" which is synonymous with panse in how it includes all genders.

"Bisexual" (or "biromantic") by its very structure assumes that there are two genders. However, now that we know better, is it a bad idea to continue using this word in a meaning closer to the second? I personally perceive bisexuality and biromanticism as a potential ability to fall in love with any person regardless of their gender. (It reminds me of a little passus by the Ukrainian writer Olha Kobylanska, which I have found - she once wrote, in a piece of personal writing, that for her personality matters more than gender. Something extremely modern-sounding, and it was written in the early 20th century...)

It certainly does have one advantage over "pan-" - "pansexual" can mean something completely different. The first time I met the word "pansexual" (in a text from the 1930s), it was used in the meaning of "(culturally) sex-obsessed, prone to see sexuality and sexual motivations everywhere".

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Miss_Bookworm

Thanks for the input everybody!

The one thing I don't think was answered was if any panromantic or biromantic (or -sexual respectively) noticed a persons gender as one of the main factors or if they don't care about the gender until later.

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5 hours ago, Miss_Bookworm said:

Thanks for the input everybody!

The one thing I don't think was answered was if any panromantic or biromantic (or -sexual respectively) noticed a persons gender as one of the main factors or if they don't care about the gender until later.

I don't know why people got bogged down in giving you definitions, maybe if you just phrased the question as Does Gender effect how you feel attraction? In the titile, then put an explanation in the comment bit, you might get the answers your after.

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Miss_Bookworm
43 minutes ago, Gizamaluke said:

I don't know why people got bogged down in giving you definitions, maybe if you just phrased the question as Does Gender effect how you feel attraction? In the titile, then put an explanation in the comment bit, you might get the answers your after.

1

Ohhhhhhh....

yeah it was probably my fault😂

I couldn't think of anything to title it so I just chose that.

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  • 2 weeks later...
AceAndAnxious |-/

gender isnt a factor when i have romantic attraction 

it's just mostly personality that trumps over that 

doesnt really come into play much 

 

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On 12/7/2018 at 4:24 AM, Miss_Bookworm said:

Thanks for the input everybody!

The one thing I don't think was answered was if any panromantic or biromantic (or -sexual respectively) noticed a persons gender as one of the main factors or if they don't care about the gender until later.

I am not sure of the correct label for me, could be Polyromantic. 

 

Gender is definitely something that I notice. (I could add more detail on my relationships etc but I don't want to hijack your post)

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Bi- means "attracted to members of the same gender and of different genders". Hence the flag, where the pink represents same-gender attraction, the blue represents different-gender attraction, and the purple is a mix of the two. Of course, it was originally implied that there are only two genders (being sex), but the definition still holds up if "sex" is replaced with "gender". Correct me if I'm wrong though.

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All people identifying as bi I talked to would not hold to the definition of bi as being attracted to exactly two genders, but to be being attracted to more than one gender. I see being pan as that the gender of the person is not important how you are attracted to them, while some bi people told me that the way they experience the attraction depends on the gender of the person. The way I define pan and bi, every pan person in bi while not every bi person is pan.

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@smolfox1132 and @Bloc I always saw Bi as meaning two and thus "my gender" and "the opposite gender" (or sex). Since neither sex nor gender are really binary and there is a word/prefix for "many but not all" (poly) I like using that (though it often requires an explanation)

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