jordanmae

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jordanmae

I have been wondering if I am asexual for quite some time, but I know very little about the topic beyond the basics. Is there some form of therapy or treatment that asexuals undergo in attempt to enjoy sex more before fully considering themselves asexual? For any male asexuals, does taking viagra or some other form of stimulant affect the feelings/opinions one has towards sex? Finally, I am aware that asexuals typically respond to physical stimuli in a sexual experience, however they do not necessarily desire sex in the same way that others may. Is it possible for asexuals to enjoy sex at all and what triggers that enjoyment? 

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AspieAlly613

I can't answer all of your questions.  I can answer the last one, though.

 

8 minutes ago, jordanmae said:

Finally, I am aware that asexuals typically respond to physical stimuli in a sexual experience, however they do not necessarily desire sex in the same way that others may. Is it possible for asexuals to enjoy sex at all and what triggers that enjoyment?

Yes, some aces find sex enjoyable.  Some of the reasons are:

  • The stimulation still feels good.  It's analogous to getting a back rub, but you feel back-rub-attraction to people.
  • Sometimes, when you love a romantic partner, the knowledge that you're sexually satisfying xem is pleasant.
  • It can be a sharing/bonding/intimate experience that's similar to a friendly conversation with your romantic partner.

 

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lonelyace

Like any other sexuality, asexuality cannot be "cured" through any form of conversion therapy. Some asexuals do enjoy sex, some don't. I've seen what seem to be three categories of aces: sex repulsed, sex neutral, and sex positive. Sex repulsed asexuals are the ones who don't enjoy sex or avoid it for whatever reason. Sex neutral and sex positive aces do enjoy the act of sex but have varying levels of indifference towards it, Where you land on this spectrum will be something that's up to you to figure out.

 

Sex is a physical act, and the body does respond to it, regardless of if you're asexual or not. So yes, asexuals do experience the pleasurable sensations associated with sex, we just seem to view that differently than most people.

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St. Nyaaconix the II
4 hours ago, jordanmae said:

Is there some form of therapy or treatment that asexuals undergo in attempt to enjoy sex more before fully considering themselves asexual?

Asexuals I think usually don't seek out treatment for their orientation, they just are 'ok' with it. It's just their nature. There's nothing to fix. However IF you're really bothered by your lack sexual of desire. Then this might be something else... And yes. A psychologist (sexologist), can help you there.

 

For me it really was, oh? Really? I don't have to have sex if I don't want/desire to with another person?!?! OMG *brain explode*... I'm ace!

 

And welcome to Aven! :cake: :cake: 

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MichaelTannock

Welcome to AVEN!

 

Unfortunately, I can't answer your questions, because in my case, I've never had or desired either sex or a relationship.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake,

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Winged Whisperer
14 hours ago, jordanmae said:

I have been wondering if I am asexual for quite some time, but I know very little about the topic beyond the basics. Is there some form of therapy or treatment that asexuals undergo in attempt to enjoy sex more before fully considering themselves asexual? For any male asexuals, does taking viagra or some other form of stimulant affect the feelings/opinions one has towards sex? Finally, I am aware that asexuals typically respond to physical stimuli in a sexual experience, however they do not necessarily desire sex in the same way that others may. Is it possible for asexuals to enjoy sex at all and what triggers that enjoyment? 

Hello, Jordan!

In order:

  1. Nothing specific for asexuals, but in general sex therapy can reduce sex repulsion and increase your enjoyment of it (or at least decrease your hatred of it).
  2. I took viagra and cialis, and no they really had no effect whatsoever on my feelings towards sex. They're supposed to only help the physiological side by letting you get aroused easier and increase your libido.
  3. Depends on the exact meaning of "enjoy", but colloquially speaking, yes asexuals can enjoy sex, whether it's because of the dopamines released at orgasm or the positive vibe a partner gives off, or anything else. Naturally though asexuals don't seek out sex, so that enjoyment will probably only be small.

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Nowhere Girl

I have particularly noticed one word:

On 12/6/2018 at 6:47 AM, jordanmae said:

Is there some form of therapy or treatment that asexuals undergo in attempt to enjoy sex more before fully considering themselves asexual?

Some asexuals try different kinds of "treatment" in the mistaken assumption that lack of desire is a disorder. However, asexuals absolutely don't have to try any kind of therapy - and don't have to try sex either - in order to "be allowed to identify as asexual". I'm a sex-averse asexual. The idea of personally having sex feels scary and distressing to me. I actively don't want to have sex with anyone. Why should I try it if I know how negative are my feelings towards personally having sex? It would equal torturing myself. Most people don't do things which they find unpleasant or off-putting and which aren't necessary. I have no willingness to check if there isn't perhaps 1% chance that I could enjoy something which currently feels so horrible to me that I literally feel that I couldn't bring myself to have sex.

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Slimer509

In response to the second question, as the others have been pretty thoroughly covered:

 

Viagra and other sexual stimulants would increase how easily aroused someone is, but wouldn't make them suddenly interested in sex if they weren't already. Just like how someone on any of those drugs likely wouldn't start to have sexual desire towards genders they didn't already have attraction towards (ie, a straight man on viagra wouldn't feel increased arousal towards other men compared to normal).

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