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Can you be asexual and have hyper sexual desire disorder?


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I am doing a project involving hyper sexual desire disorder for one of my classes. In one of the research things I was reading over it said their sample included asexuals with other sexual orientations for screening hypersexuality. I know being asexual dosen't mean you wont look at porn, have no libido, or not get aroused but it still seems weird to think you could be asexual and have hypersexuality. I don't know much about hypersexuality(which isn't a good thing for my assignment lol) so was wondering if anyone knew about it an asexuality.

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First, I think you mean hypoactive sexual desire disorder. (The -o vs. -er makes a big less vs more)

 

I'm of two minds about this. First, asexuality is based on a lack of sexual attraction. Sexual desire is not sexual attraction, and asexuals can have high sexual desire or low sexual desire, so from a simplistic viewpoint, asexuals could have HSDD.

 

But the disorder bit is throwing me. I know that this isn't always how psychologists/psychiatrists judge these things, but I think something is only a disorder if it causes a problem for the person experiencing it. So HSDD only really exists for people who want to have sex for some reason, in some part of their brain, but another part of their brain keeps them from actually doing it. But for an asexual, lacking both sexual attraction and sexual desire is complimentary, and therefore shouldn't be clinicalized/seen as a disorder.

 

That said, people are really complex, so maybe there are people for whom it causes a problem.

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In my opinion?  No.

 

You're sure to find people here who would say yes, though.

 

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First, I think you mean hypoactive sexual desire disorder. (The -o vs. -er makes a big less vs more)

No, I think the OP meant what they said.  That being said, referring to it as "HSDD" without context is inherently ambiguous for the reason you state.

 

"Hypersexuality" is often referred to instead as sex addiction, possibly to get around the ambiguity.

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Yes, you can be addicted to sex and have no sexual attraction for anyone. Hypersexual is an actual clinical diagnosis, it doesn't just mean "random person with high sex drive". You can have sex for any reason under the sun. 

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If you wanna fuck other people for your own sexual gratification, the basis on which you choose whom to do it with is pretty much what sexual attraction is.

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2 hours ago, Kumoku said:

Yes, you can be addicted to sex and have no sexual attraction for anyone. Hypersexual is an actual clinical diagnosis, it doesn't just mean "random person with high sex drive". You can have sex for any reason under the sun. 

Yes exactly like my hypersexual ex, he would fuck anything with a vagina. Okay so we had it wrong all those years though, he's the asexual who demanded sex twice a day, every day. I didn't want or desire the sex, so we were utterly sexually incompatible, but apparently that's because of his asexuality as it turns out I'm not exactly asexual. So that's why we were so incompatible, I see now. He was the asexual and I was just the shallow, dumb sexual who needed an emotional bond (which I didn't have with him) before I could actually want to have sex. It all makes sense now.

 

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everywhere and nowhere

First, it seems quite clear that the OP meant "hypo-", not "hyper-", but confused these prefixes. Not a big issue, mistakes happen. I have recently written that I'm the oldest of a bunch of cousins and they are all older than me - of course I meant younger...

As for the question... I'm not sure, because I don't agree with the way the difference between "asexuality" and "hypoactive sexual desire disorder" is framed. The way it is usually framed, it seems like the very act of self-identifying as asexual is a Perfomative Speech Act which - presto! - suddently makes you non-disordered. But if a person has never happened to hear of asexuality, obviously they can't identify this way and so are disordered by default. For me it's ridiculous to base the difference between these two on whether a person has heard of asexuality (and it pretty much boils down to this).

The main issue I have with this supposed difference, however, is that it introduces a textbook case of double standards: a different diagnosis and approach for those who happen to identify as asexual and those who happen not to identify this way. And for me it's crystal clear that everyone must have the right not to have sex and not to desire sex. Regardless of how they identify.

So my "counterproposal" is: hyposexuality is not a disorder. It is probably the same as nonlibidoist asexuality, only still judged by the psychiatric establishment to be a disorder due to strange stuff hapenning when asexuality is so partially accepted and acknowledged. It's just a part of normal variation. Which, of course, doesn't also mean that a hyposexual doesn't have a right to regret being hyposexual for whatever reason. But the fact that they feel bad about it doesn't make hyposexuality a disorder, it just means that they are experiencing distress due one of billions of possible reasons.

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First, it seems quite clear that the OP meant "hypo-", not "hyper-", but confused these prefixes.

How is that "clear"?  The context to me points toward the latter, since the OP said it would be "weird" for someone to be asexual and with HSDD.

 

Someone being considered hypo-SDD when they were actually asexual wouldn't be at all unusual; they have often been conflated, such as in the DSM before the 5th edition came out.

 

A "hypersexual asexual" on the other hand would indeed be weird, to the point where I'd say it outright cannot exist (yet, trust me, there are people who would say that it can).  Maybe an asexual with an overactive libido, sure, but that doesn't necessarily point toward sex addiction or looking toward other people to sate the libido (which, as far as I'm concerned, would make one sexual, not asexual)

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Ya guys I meant to say hyper sexual not hypo sexual. I personally don't think someone who is asexual who constantly goes to have sex as a form of hyper sexual disorder would be asexual; however, if they were addicted to porn or possibly masturbated so much it negatively impacted their lives then I could kinda see that. For anything to be considered a disorder in the DSM it has to negatively impact the individuals daily life and thinking. 

 

I don't mind the comments about hyposexual disorder and asexuality because it is one that I think about often. But I most definitely am referring to hyper sexuality. For the comments on hyposexuality for me if the personal has the lifelong form of diagnosis than I think that is just asexuality that was diagnosed as hyposexual before realizing they were asexual at the therapists office. If they do not have the lifelong version and for whatever reason had a sudden drop in their sexual interest/arousal then I can see hyposexuality as a valid disorder. But I do agree that it seems ridiculous that unless you tell the therapist that you are asexual then they could just give you the diagnosis without bringing up asexuality as another possibility.

 

I can post more later but I gotta go to class so I just wanted to clear this up really quick. Sorry about the confusion. 

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Winged Whisperer

So in case you don't know about me, I've been seeing a sex therapist with my wife for a year. HSDD is real, and in our latest session where I came out that I might be asexual, the discussion in our session was around how up until that point my therapist thought I had HSDD, but how if I was to be asexual then well the dynamics change. When I was first reading about HSDD and asexuality, I couldn't see how they're distinguishable, they read as the same thing to me with the difference that HSDD is when the person is also "distressed" because of it. However it turns out that there are a number of key differences:

 

  1. Asexuality is something permanent that's been with you, and by extension will be with you for all your life.
  2. HSDD is more or less "caused", it will have some root causes that can be traced (like depression, bad sexual encounters, physiological imbalances) while asexuality is a lot better to think of as innate.
  3. HSDD can be cured or fixed, asexuality can not. This was a highlighted point my therapist pointed to in our session.
  4. On the other side of the first point, HSDD is developed at some point in the person.

 

Anyway, HSDD refers only to hypoactive sexual desire disorder. For those who have sex a lot it's either hypersexuality, or sex addiction.

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On 12/5/2018 at 9:04 AM, Ficto. said:

... he's the asexual who demanded sex twice a day, every day. ... It all makes sense now.

 

I know you’re using sarcasm, and you posted this already:

 

But I want to react to it anyway. 🙃  I am very happy you had the courage to leave him. 😊 And he definitely does not fall within the Aven definition of an asexual:

 

From the Aven FAQ

Asexual: Someone who does not experience sexual attraction or an intrinsic desire to have sexual relationships (or the adjective describing a person as such).

Sexual attraction: Desire to have sexual contact with someone else or to share our sexuality with them. (Note: sexual attraction does not need to be based on appearance, and can also develop gradually over time.)

 

So if I make the substitution, I get: 

Asexual: Someone who does not experience desire to

- have sexual contact with someone else

or to

- share our sexuality with them. (Note: sexual attraction does not need to be based on appearance, and can also develop gradually over time.) 

or an intrinsic desire to

- have sexual relationships.

 

Reads pretty clear to me, an asexual does not desire sexual contact with someone else.

 

P.S. An asexual might compromise within a mixed relationship.

 

@Kumoku I think the above Aven definitions do exclude the sex addict/hyper sexual.

 

 

 

 

 

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Not to be rude or anything but could the comments now focus on asexuality and hypersexuality please. Just seems like everything is off topic....

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Winged Whisperer

Hypersexuality and asexuality are impossible to mix. You just can't have both at the same time. Asexuality by definition means lacking innate desire for sex, while hypersexuality means having a high and frequent degree of it.

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14 hours ago, Norellia said:

Not to be rude or anything but could the comments now focus on asexuality and hypersexuality please. Just seems like everything is off topic....

How are you defining hypersexuality? Because every response here has been about the fact that asexuality and hypersexuality (the way Kumo defined it) are incompatible. @Thea2 even went to the effort to pull definitions from the FAQ. It's this weird thing that's cropped up on the forums over the past few days where quite a few people have described someone like my hypersexual, sex obsessed ex as someone who would be on the ace spectrum due to having no real preference as to who he has sex with. That's why I mentioned him. The fact is, asexuality is a lack of a desire to connect sexually with others. You can't take that and mix it with a sex obsessed person who will bang anyone without preference.

 

HOWEVER, an asexual could actually have 'hypersexuality' in the form a libido that's so high that they need to masturbate like 10 or 15 times a day to deal with it, because that's an actual medical disorder where the hormones go through the roof and cause libido to skyrocket. It's just that for an asexual this still won't cause them to seek sex with another person. That's the key difference here.

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3 minutes ago, Ficto. said:

... every response here has been about the fact that asexuality and hypersexuality ... are incompatible. @Thea2 even went to the effort to pull definitions from the FAQ.  

Ha, ha, I am glad you mentioned it, because I did feel a bit hard done by. Thank you very much @Ficto. 😊🍰🌸

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hypersexuality
 A stronger than usual urge to have sexual activity.


 

Other than this... I can't find anything about HYPER sexual desire disorder in the DSM-5

 

And the title of your post even suggests it.

 

Desire

 

While asexuality has been defined as:

 

"a lack of an innate desire to connect sexually with other people" 

 

To which the DSM-5 says this:

 

Quote

For a diagnosis of female sexual interest/arousal disorder to be made, clinically signif­icant distress must accompany the symptoms in Criterion A. Distress may be experienced
as a result of the lack of sexual interest Arousal or as a result of significant interference in
a woman's life and well-being. If a lifelong lack of sexual desire is better explained by one's
self-identification as "asexual,"
then a diagnosis of female sexual interest/arousal disor­
der would not be made.


 

Same paraphrase is made with Male Hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

 

 

Can we conclude... A no, now? :) 

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Ms. Carolynne

I don't know enough about hyper sexual desire disorder to really say. What are the criteria and symptoms?

 

It would really depend if something like having a really high libido or porn addiction would qualify, IMO. In which case I can see that as a possibility.

 

However, if it's more about wanting and having sex all the time, then no. That would appear to be the opposite of asexuality.

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16 hours ago, Ficto. said:

HOWEVER, an asexual could actually have 'hypersexuality' in the form a libido that's so high that they need to masturbate like 10 or 15 times a day to deal with it, because that's an actual medical disorder where the hormones go through the roof and cause libido to skyrocket. It's just that for an asexual this still won't cause them to seek sex with another person. That's the key difference here.

Precisely. Someone can indeed be asexual by orientation, but have a very high libido in terms of genital arousal. It doesn't even need to be connected to anything inherently sexual in itself if you have a hypersexual paraphilic disorder, which many hypersexual people do. This does not make you seek out sex with other people, or even have any desire or interest in sex with others. Aka, an asexual. What it can do is make you constantly aroused and needing or fixating on compulsive masturbation in order to deal with the arousal.

Imagine this - you are an asexual person. You have never wanted sex, or seen others in a sexualized way. Sexual acts and behaviour, or sex itself may even disgust you. Now imagine you have a paraphilic hypersexual disorder that is controlled by something completely innocuous - some of the more common ones are articles of clothing like shoes, but it can be anything from balloons to tractors. Your libido is intensely switched on whenever you see, or think, about this object, and many people are compulsively obsessed with thinking about it. You can't get it out of your mind, therefore your are always aroused, and in order to find some relief you end up engaged in chronic masturbation.

All as a sex-disinterested asexual person. Sexuality can be very, very complicated.

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That’s what I was thinking as well... someone could be asexual (no interest in partnered sex) and yet still have a hypersexuality/sex addiction condition that manifests as excessive, risky, and/or otherwise life-affecting solo sex: things like porn addiction, excessive masturbation, masturbation in inappropriate places, etc.

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