Kaira Aitken

I don't fully understand asexuality.

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R_1

The thing is my main motivation is to get rid of the problematic issue of the word desire. There is no answer to what point it becomes desire, and it's clear that not everybody knows what they want. I use indefinite as opposed to innate as indefinite state can work for those who are born that way as well as those who are no longer sexual and with zero chance of being sexual again because at some point, any difference disappear. I know it's strange putting it that way, but there has to be something to compare it to make sense of what I mean.

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Ficto.
24 minutes ago, R_1 said:

The thing is my main motivation is to get rid of the problematic issue of the word desire. There is no answer to what point it becomes desire, and it's clear that not everybody knows what they want. I use indefinite as opposed to innate as indefinite state can work for those who are born that way as well as those who are no longer sexual and with zero chance of being sexual again because at some point, any difference disappear. I know it's strange putting it that way, but there has to be something to compare it to make sense of what I mean.

By innate desire, it just means innate want. I want to fuck you for pleasure or I do not want to fuck you. That's literally all desire means. The reason we stopped using wants sex/doesn't want sex in the definition is because so many people got angry at the implications of the word want. Because technically someone who wants sex to have a baby is still wanting sex on some level, just not out of any innate desire to engage in sex for pleasure. That's the argument people were bringing to the table anyway. So we said 'okay yeah well it's actually about that innate desire anyway, that's a better way of describing it'.

 

Do you want to fuck someone for sexual and/or emotional pleasure? Or 'share your body with them' as you worded it? If so then that's an innate desire. If not, then no you don't desire that. 

 

But again, use whatever definition is easier for you. This wasn't actually a discussion about changing the wording of the definition itself (my definition is just a clarified version of the officially accepted one), it was about how an ace can innately want/desire to fuck other people solely for pleasure (answer: they can't or they'd be sexual).  We got into trying to define sexual attraction to illustrate the arguments we were trying to make :)

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Philip027
17 hours ago, R_1 said:

But, then here we have a issue though it can be solved easily. The main issue is that not wanting sex could be due to external reason rather than having to do with internal motivations. External reason like you don't want the risk of the possibility conceiving a baby with gene-related issue, or spreading incurable STD (resistant STDs and those whose cure have yet to be found)...

No, in these cases these people still want sex, but other factors are keeping them from actually pursuing the act.  We call these people abstinent.

 

They're still sexual, maybe not in the sense that they're actually having sex, but that they still have the same desires and attractions as any other sexual person.

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Philip027

Blargggg

Edited by Philip027
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œddy
37 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

Blargggg

🤮

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R_1
3 hours ago, Philip027 said:

No, in these cases these people still want sex, but other factors are keeping them from actually pursuing the act.  We call these people abstinent.

 

They're still sexual, maybe not in the sense that they're actually having sex, but that they still have the same desires and attractions as any other sexual person.

So, basically confirming that want with no additional notes does not always concisely describe? Thanks. I still sort of like the default, and prolonged state though as the base rather than want/desire/attraction as that gets around the issue of defining these 3 and their limitations, and the fact that some people could arguably be between want and meh, desire and meh, and attracted and meh. Yes, these people exist, and often they do identify as gray because of that. Plus, their subjectivity are their main limitation. There is no concise description that can be used to define want, desire or attraction. Without resorting to "I want that." or "I would like to have that", what exactly describe those? How exactly can people know? And if they are indeed clear as some people are making them out to be, then why is it exactly some people don't really know whether they want/desire/attracted to something?

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