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Losing Interest in Romance and Confused


SweetTart

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It seems like lately I've been losing more and more interest in having a romantic relationship. I always thought from a young age I could never "find love" (oof that sounds so dramatic and cheesy), and I simply wasn't meant for relationships because I never really felt interested in anyone. Often this had connections to my self-image issues and such, but I've gotten a lot better with how I view myself and I no longer feel that way. Now I just feel like romantic relationships seem off-putting.

 

Being with someone I really enjoy spending time with and deciding I want to be in a romantic relationship just feels weird.. and uncomfortable. Maybe it's because people tend to jump into romantic relationships and be very affectionate and touchy right off the bat. And it just seems disingenuous and strange to me. It's not how I want to act or communicate. Maybe it's simply because I'm not used to that sort of relationship and communication? I'm not sure. It's just something I've noticed lately and been really confused about.

 

It's like I enjoy the idea of a romantic relationship in my head, but when it comes to reality.. well not so much.

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I completely relate!  I love the idea of the whole "couple situation" in my head but always find that the relationships fall through for one reason or another.  Granted, I have not been in a relationship with an asexual.  Personally, I hope to find a nice companionship with another asexual someday.  I wouldn't want to call it a relationship as it has the physical implications that you mentioned.  I feel like in order to achieve an asexual relationship one must first redefine the term "relationship" to fit them personally and proceed to find another with similar definitions.

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8 hours ago, SweetTart said:

It's like I enjoy the idea of a romantic relationship in my head, but when it comes to reality.. well not so much.

Ditto. 😖

 

I also don't get all touchy feely early in a relationsip. I usually have to get to know a person and be more comfortable with them before I start doing that. I don't like to rush into relationships. Someone I once dated years ago told me that they loved me the day after we started dating. That, um, seemed a bit fast for me... 😳

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The Anchorage

I know what you're talking about! I feel the same way. Good to know, that I'm not alone with this feeling. I enjoy the concept of romantic relationships in my head, but I never met a person I actually wanted to be in a romantic relationship with. I feels weird, as if I'm not made for it. Right now I couldn't care less, but there are times when I'm sad because of it.

 

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  • 1 month later...
On 12/4/2018 at 6:54 AM, SweetTart said:

I always thought from a young age I could never "find love"

Funny, I was the opposite. I used to always picture myself as a romantic person because as teen I liked some romance in certain movies and series and thought "I don't want children but I could get married one day" and was downright convinced I would meet the (romantic) love of my life one day.
The older I got the more I realized I can like romance in fiction but yeah, in RL it's the same for me as for you.
Because of:

On 12/4/2018 at 6:54 AM, SweetTart said:

Being with someone I really enjoy spending time with and deciding I want to be in a romantic relationship just feels weird.. and uncomfortable

I relate to 100%. And I tested it out and was in relationships with people that were capable of romantic love. It isn't something I want to experience again and it's an act of self love for me to say "don't". I also have a problem with people wanting to touch me in an early stage of a relationship. I need to know someone for a long time (years) before I can remotely enjoy a hug with them.

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