ahyanyan

I’m so confused

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ahyanyan

Um, alright so I’ve been searching about different sexuality’s lately and I’ve always thought I was pansexual. I realized I’m not actually pansexual though and then thought I was aromantic. Now I’m just so confused on what I am. It’s like I get tiny crushes on both genders but It feels forced like I don’t actually feel romantically attracted to them I just like how they look :/. 

 

I mostly only feel sexual attraction to people. Like, I have a boyfriend right now and I feel so bad because I just don’t feel romantically attracted to him at all. I’ve been searching about these feelings for so long and never find anything. Am I actually aromantic or not? I’m so confused :( 

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MichaelTannock

@ahyanyan Welcome to AVEN!

 

There are different kinds of attraction beyond Romantic and Sexual you might find this often posted image helpful,

zlo2z.jpg

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake,

ZWughhv.jpg

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Anthracite_Impreza

It is possible to be aromantic and sexual, which it appears you are. Have you discussed this with your boyfriend? With compromise it could still work.

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Tame One

I can also tell you from experience that you can have a normal romantic relationship without romantic attraction (if that's what you want). While I've experienced romantic attraction to some people, never on my current partner, but that hasn't prevented us from having a strong romantic relationship.

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kaysir
On 12/3/2018 at 7:36 PM, ahyanyan said:

It’s like I get tiny crushes on both genders but It feels forced like I don’t actually feel romantically attracted to them I just like how they look :/. 

 

... Am I actually aromantic or not?

Do you want to be around you boyfriend? Do you care about his life and his opinions? Do you want to go on dates with him, be they just sitting around together, visits to museums, or candelit dinners?  Would you rather those events not be called dates? Do you have urges to do specific things you define as romantic? Would you enjoy romantic things even if you did not initiate them, or would you rather not do romantic things?

 

It's definitely possibly that you are not romantic and only experience aesthetic (visual) and platonic (friendly) attraction, and that you enjoy romance in theory but do not desire it. If you feel like aromantic is the correct word to call yourself, keep at it.

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