Ace/Allo romance & Waiting until marriage

[AspieAlly613]

I should preface this by mentioning that this is a completely hypothetical question.  I am currently romantically pursuing nobody, and contemplating romance with no one in particular.

 

Reading about ace/allo romances, I started to think "what if I were the allo in such a romance?"  A twist that I haven't read about on here (yet) that would be in my romance is that (for religious reasons) we would not have any sexual contact until we were married.  This means that none of the experimentation to find if there was any "happy compromise" until we were already married.

 

Has anyone been in such a relationship or heard of anyone who was in such a situation?

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[starweb]

I had no sex before marriage nor did I experiment. Found out I was ACE after marriage.

 

I'm one of the lucky ones, it worked out but only after a lot of struggle on my part which was solved by scheduled sex. 

[uhtred]

I think that in general, being as sexually active before marriage as you plan to be after marriage is a good idea.  Mismatched marriages are often misery for both people. If there is a mismatch, best to find out early. 

[Lara Black]

I think, it depends on whether or not the ace status was disclosed before these relationships. And how the boundaries were set.

If the sexual partner enters a marriage knowing that sex may never happen and every step towards intimacy is just a nice bonus, that’s one thing. If the sexual person’s expectations are that after marriage sex is a given – it would just click on – or doesn’t believe asexuality to be a real thing (like “He/She just needs me as the perfect partner”), then we’re pretty much guaranteed an unhappy marriage.