Peanut_5000

Valid Reasons to be Demifemale?

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Peanut_5000

Hello everyone! I've been thinking recently. I've identified as demifemale for a while now, and all my friends know (I don't see a reason I need to tell my family yet, I know they would accept me though), but I don't really know if my reasons for identifying as I do are valid?

(My sex is female, by the way, I've just kind of slid over about 20% on the gender spectrum.)

 

I have a few reasons that I'm demifemale.

 - I tend to relate more to male and non-binary characters in shows and games, really just almost no female character really represents me at all

 - I act and dress (well, would dress, if I actually cared about what I wear) more androgynous and am more interested in androgynous fashion/clothing, but I do have an interest in dressing really fancy and feminine-ly sometimes.

 - I have more interest in activities that aren't to a specific gender or are more 'traditionally' masculine (outdoors hide and seek, etc), but I also enjoy doing things that lots of boys would write off as girly (sleepovers and games like truth-or-dare).

 - When I draw myself as a character or persona, I have trouble drawing myself with eyelashes or lips because it just looks and feels wrong, (for reference, I draw in a cartoon style so it doesn't look weird not to have them) but I don't have this issue drawing other people or characters. I'm starting to get over this by making the eyelashes smaller and look less feminine, but it still bothers me occasionally.

 - It sort of makes me feel weird when people refer to me as a girl, not in use of my pronouns (I'm usually fine with being called a she), but if anyone used to call me a "little girl" when I was younger. I didn't realize it but it felt weird to me. I prefer to be called a person instead of a girl.

 

Anyway, there's probably a few more. Bottom line, I don't really feel any dysphoria besides not wanting to have a large chest, but I don't know if that counts since it's mostly for practical reasons), so I don't know if I should still go back to being female or stay as demifemale. Thank you for reading!

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i3utterflyeffect

Welcome to AVEN!

I think that you should go with whichever feels right to you. I don't think you need dysphoria to be demigender, either. 

By the way-- here's some cake!

german-chocolate-wedding-cake.jpg?w=750

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Light02

If it feels right to identify that way and you feel a connection to the term then that's a valid reason for id-ying that way 🙂.

 

But I should also say your gender doesn't have much to do with gender roles (like what kind of clothes you like or whether you like typically "feminine" things and activities) because these are just stereotypes and there's plenty of cis people who don't fit them either. Hope this helped!

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Peanut_5000
On 12/2/2018 at 11:53 AM, Light02 said:

If it feels right to identify that way and you feel a connection to the term then that's a valid reason for id-ying that way 🙂.

 

But I should also say your gender doesn't have much to do with gender roles (like what kind of clothes you like or whether you like typically "feminine" things and activities) because these are just stereotypes and there's plenty of cis people who don't fit them either. Hope this helped!

Alright, thank you for the advice! ^^

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Peanut_5000
On 12/1/2018 at 3:10 PM, i3utterflyeffect said:

Welcome to AVEN!

I think that you should go with whichever feels right to you. I don't think you need dysphoria to be demigender, either. 

By the way-- here's some cake!

german-chocolate-wedding-cake.jpg?w=750

Aw, thank you! And thank you for the advice too!! ^^

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mashandgravy

This is probably difficult to gauge but I'd say a valid reason to ID as demigender is if the comfort it brings outweighs the difficulties brought on by openly holding a non-binary identity. Does living as a cis female feel wrong or off?

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Tunes
On 12/1/2018 at 3:52 PM, Peanut_5000 said:

I act and dress (well, would dress, if I actually cared about what I wear) more androgynous and am more interested in androgynous fashion/clothing, but I do have an interest in dressing really fancy and feminine-ly sometimes.

 - I have more interest in activities that aren't to a specific gender or are more 'traditionally' masculine (outdoors hide and seek, etc), but I also enjoy doing things that lots of boys would write off as girly (sleepovers and games like truth-or-dare).

 - When I draw myself as a character or persona, I have trouble drawing myself with eyelashes or lips because it just looks and feels wrong, (for reference, I draw in a cartoon style so it doesn't look weird not to have them) but I don't have this issue drawing other people or characters. I'm starting to get over this by making the eyelashes smaller and look less feminine, but it still bothers me occasionally.

As a cis female, I fully relate to all of these points. 

 

On 12/1/2018 at 3:52 PM, Peanut_5000 said:

I tend to relate more to male and non-binary characters in shows and games, really just almost no female character really represents me at all

I do not relate to this one. I mean, I guess someone male or nonbinary might pop up that I relate to, but on average, this is not the case. Though, I don't feel like it matters that much: I relate much more based on personality traits and life circumstances rather than gender. 

 

On 12/1/2018 at 3:52 PM, Peanut_5000 said:

It sort of makes me feel weird when people refer to me as a girl, not in use of my pronouns (I'm usually fine with being called a she), but if anyone used to call me a "little girl" when I was younger. I didn't realize it but it felt weird to me. I prefer to be called a person instead of a girl.

I think this one would depend a lot on how "little girl" was being used. If they were trying to use my gender against me, I would pick up on the negative connotation and be insulted. But otherwise, it just was. I think I would have had more problem with the word 'little' than the word 'girl'. And I absolutely LOVED anything that split the class into girls vs boys. I took great pride in being a girl who was kickass enough to win most wrestling matches and burst through any defense in basketball or red rover. :D (Not that I was particularly good at basketball - couldn't aim for my life, in fact. But when I started playing with the boys at recess (it was always the boys playing basketball for some reason...), I found that they actually liked having me on their team because I was really good at stealing the ball from the opposing team and getting it passed to someone on my team. It probably helped that I was useful without stealing any of the spotlight - everyone else wanted to be the one to get the glory of making the basket, you see). Not that you have to be that proud of your gender in order to call yourself female either - I just happened to be. XD

 

 

On 12/1/2018 at 3:52 PM, Peanut_5000 said:

I've just kind of slid over about 20% on the gender spectrum

In the end, if you feel like "female" is not a good term to accurately represent your gender, demifemale is fine. I feel completely comfortable being referred to as a female, 100% of the time. I never want anyone to call me anything else (including demigirl). This is what makes me female. If you feel like "female" mostly fits, but not quite, then you probably are demifemale, as far as I can tell. Just remember that gender identity is based solely on how you feel comfortable being identified - it has nothing to do with stereotypes, behavior, fashion choice, interests, body language, etc. It's entirely internal, so as long as you are choosing the label that is internally consistent with how you view yourself, then there is no wrong choice. :) 

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