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Im feel im too young


mari

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I will be 50 in January but i feel that im to young for not recive again a hug, a caress, a touch, a kiss, a massage, intimacy, nudity, spoony sleep, but what can i do? I need aceptance.

 

When i was in my 20´s i watched my mom and my grandma and i thought "how do this women can live without human contact?" (my mom was divorced and my grandma widow. 

 

Now i think i had a premonitory thought.

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Do you feel you’ll never experience those things again?

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3 hours ago, mari said:

i feel that im to young for not recive again a hug, a caress, a touch, a kiss, a massage, intimacy, nudity, spoony sleep, but what can i do?

well, if that's how you feel, why not get hugs and kisses from family and friends? go to a spa for your massage? build up the closeness with your physically affectionate friends if you're not close yet? buy spoons?

oh wait you don't mean actual spoons, do you... 

uh then date? marry?

or you can just settle for a pet to cuddle with.

i don't know anything else you can do. it's an option to accept that there will not always be people around but you'll never be truly alone.

im not quite sure if it's possible to be completely devoid of human contact. handshakes? 

i wonder if i fully understood what you are trying to say

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3 minutes ago, havenseeker said:

well, if that's how you feel, why not get hugs and kisses from family and friends? go to a spa for your massage? build up the closeness with your physically affectionate friends if you're not close yet? buy spoons?

oh wait you don't mean actual spoons, do you... 

uh then date? marry?

or you can just settle for a pet to cuddle with.

i don't know anything else you can do. it's an option to accept that there will not always be people around but you'll never be truly alone.

im not quite sure if it's possible to be completely devoid of human contact. handshakes? 

i wonder if i fully understood what you are trying to say

I agree. Spa is a very great way to ease yourself into it if touch is something your not used to. Has helped me a lot. 

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2 minutes ago, Vårin said:

Spa is a very great way to ease yourself into it if touch is something your not used to. Has helped me a lot. 

what are spas like? from someone who has been there. just kinda curious but not curious enough to actually go. touch scares me too much.

 

Your profile pic. did you draw that? it looks pretty,

cheerful (i like to think that the thing to the left is its wing lifted up as if it's about to break into dance),

and quite awake if the lines around the head mean it's alert

 

um sorry. my mind wanders too much

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12 minutes ago, havenseeker said:

what are spas like? from someone who has been there. just kinda curious but not curious enough to actually go. touch scares me too much.

 

Your profile pic. did you draw that? it looks pretty,

cheerful (i like to think that the thing to the left is its wing lifted up as if it's about to break into dance),

and quite awake if the lines around the head mean it's alert

 

um sorry. my mind wanders too much

I am not sure I have been to an actual spa...but I like going to a massage therapist. I have not been used to touch and that helped me. Also I have a friend that gives me surprise hugs so that I will get used to it :)

 

Yeah, that is a drawing of mine. It is a bird called Vårin (it means spring in Norwegian). He is a character from a island I made up and a character in the story I am currently writing on. Just finished the first chapter actually. He looks alert yes. Good observation. Vårin is he kind of person, I mean bird, that could do that. Break into song or dance. He talk a lot. It is not he reason the lines are there tho. They are just "arrows". If you look at the whole picture you will se there is a text there "rødbrun" which means the colour of his feathers (brownish red). It is just a note I made to myself while drawing him. Since he is a character I need to draw several times I need to know what colours I should us to paint him. Her is another drawing:

 

A98C813D-EB68-4F1E-AB69-7B2344F9C88D.jpe

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41 minutes ago, Vårin said:

Also I have a friend that gives me surprise hugs so that I will get used to it :)

The last time a friend hugged me from behind, i shrieked. my elbow jerked out as a reflex and snapped her chin up. 

 

In the second drawing, the beak's color appears to be some sort of pale lavendar while in the profile pic it's blue/greenish? i think?

 

41 minutes ago, Vårin said:

Just finished the first chapter actually.

May i read it please? i would offer you a story in exchange... but that's not a fair trade... i try to write but my stories are rough and lack clarity. so i don't know...

 

your profile. Arcadia? As in Arcadia, CA? if so, aren't you sleepy? i wish I was because it's kinda late? if not, i'm sorry for my ignorance.

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1 hour ago, havenseeker said:

The last time a friend hugged me from behind, i shrieked. my elbow jerked out as a reflex and snapped her chin up. 

Hehe. I see. I like hugs...sometimes. Depends on my mood. Sometimes I am really cuddly sometimes I hide.

 

1 hour ago, havenseeker said:

In the second drawing, the beak's color appears to be some sort of pale lavendar while in the profile pic it's blue/greenish? i think?

Profil is watercolour. The other colour pencil. Have not drawn him more then four time I think so not decided on the colours. I am not that fuzzy about it...can one use that world? Fuzzy. Anyway. I do not draw that much at the moment. Just write.

 

1 hour ago, havenseeker said:

May i read it please? i would offer you a story in exchange... but that's not a fair trade... i try to write but my stories are rough and lack clarity. so i don't know...

If you like. It is just in Norwegian now unfortunately. But several people have been interested here at AVEN so I have asked a friend to translate it to english. Will be done in a few days maybe....I just handed the text to him today. I used to lack clarity in my writing, but it has improved. I spend seven years making that world. Puh. 

 

1 hour ago, havenseeker said:

your profile. Arcadia? As in Arcadia, CA? if so, aren't you sleepy? i wish I was because it's kinda late? if not, i'm sorry for my ignorance.

Hehe, no. It is a place from a game: Dreamfall. Did not know it was an actually place to. It is to late where I am. Only twelve a clock. Morning. Is it late where you are? In that case you should go to bed 🛏️

 

Ops, I mean. It is NOT late where I am. I write to fast.

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12 minutes ago, Vårin said:

Depends on my mood.

In a way, kinda for me too. Sometimes I can grit my teeth and bear it, and other times I just start shaking. If i get too scared, my body moves on its own.

 

17 minutes ago, Vårin said:

Fuzzy

in that context, i personally wouldn't use it. i think a few meanings of fuzzy are blurry, confused, or fluffy. there could be more that i'm unaware of though. you just can say you're not sure?

 

32 minutes ago, Vårin said:

it late where you are?

Yes

 

33 minutes ago, Vårin said:

In that case you should go to bed 🛏️

i have insomnia.

 

But sweet dreams. May the dreamland tree be kind to you on all of your nights.

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8 minutes ago, havenseeker said:

Yes

 

i have insomnia.

 

But sweet dreams. May the dreamland tree be kind to you on all of your nights.

I see. I kinda have that a bit to, but I am not sleeping now because it is day. I meant to say is NOT late. Haha.

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7 hours ago, mari said:

I will be 50 in January but i feel that im to young for not recive again a hug, a caress, a touch, a kiss, a massage, intimacy, nudity, spoony sleep, but what can i do? I need aceptance.

 

When i was in my 20´s i watched my mom and my grandma and i thought "how do this women can live without human contact?" (my mom was divorced and my grandma widow. 

 

Now i think i had a premonitory thought.

Sorry for talking about something unrelated on this tread....I want to get back to your question: Do you mean to say you do not get enough human touch? In that case that is very sad. People need that. And you deserve that to. It can be hard to feel accepted without some sort of intimacy. Hope it turn out better of you.

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9 hours ago, mari said:

I will be 50 in January but i feel that im to young for not recive again a hug, a caress, a touch, a kiss, a massage, intimacy, nudity, spoony sleep, but what can i do? I need aceptance.

 

When i was in my 20´s i watched my mom and my grandma and i thought "how do this women can live without human contact?" (my mom was divorced and my grandma widow. 

 

Now i think i had a premonitory thought.

So what do you do in regard to meeting men? Most men and women run into each other in some setting, some chemistry develops, and they become an  item. Some women avoid the public as much as possible because of insecurity, especially about their bodies. I have seen overweight women go to an exercise place, lose weight, get their muscles toned, and suddenly turn men's heads. Maybe a gym or a spa would be a good place to frequent?

Why did your mother and grandmother wind up without a mate?

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