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Aesthetic Attraction


E Wildflower

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I wish it was more socially acceptable to just tell people "I like your face". How would you react if someone said that to you? Would it be weird coming from some people and not others? I'd like to hear your thoughts. (I'm not adding a poll because I don't want to limit the variety of responses.)

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I mainly say that someone is good looking or attractive. My friends usually give me weird looks and I have to clarify that I mean and aesthetic attraction. It's less of an attraction for me and more of appreciation, like art in a museum.

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16 minutes ago, Salmiakki said:

I feel like that's just a weird compliment. To me it would feel weird if anyone said that to me. 

Yes, I know "I like your face" is a little strange. That's why I don't often actually say that to people, but at times I wish I could without it being seen as weird.

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I myself have never gone up to someone and said I think they're pretty/cute/etc., mostly because that's just not something I'd do. 

 

That specific wording is a bit odd, but in the world we live in, saying anything similar would likely be taken as more than just a friendly compliment, even if no further action is taken.

 

For me, saying someone is attractive means that I find them aesthetically attractive and only aesthetically attractive. But I feel that in general, saying that also implies romantic and sexual attraction also. I've had to explain that distinction so many times because I was the only one who saw them as non mutually inclusive. I think that's why the world seems so odd for me as an asexual, nearly everything has sexual undertones.

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RoseGoesToYale

I've never said it, but I wish I could. Yeah, it seems a little socially strange. But sometimes you see someone who just has a beautiful face and you wish you could say so, but you really can't use the word "face" for some odd reason.

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Being told "I like your [any body part]" would feel awkward to me at best, somewhat insulting at worst.  Like... is that really the best thing you have to say about me? :unsure:  I'm not smart, funny, endearing...?  You know, something that I've actually spent some degree of effort on, and isn't something I was just born with without any choice?

 

Even if it's not the intention, it just comes off to me as a Damned by Faint Praise situation, which is basically when something that sounds like a compliment actually comes off as insulting because it's clear you couldn't come up with anything nicer or more relevant to say about the subject.

 

It can be different coming from a friend or a partner, or in any other such case where I already know the person appreciates me for other reasons.  In these sorts of situations the remark comes off closer to what it was probably intended to, although compliments for my mind will always be received far better than compliments for my body, no matter who it's from.  From strangers, though?  Nope, it's just always uncomfortable for me.  Luckily, I'm male, physically unremarkable, and don't really get outside much, so this pretty much never happens.

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For me, normally I wouldn't care, but my experience when it comes to complimenting my body while looking up and down and staring deliberately makes me super uncomfortable.

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I don't like the idea; echoing what others have said, it seems like something you say when you don't know what else to say. Like conversation filler, just in a creepy manner. I would much rather discuss topics of interest to me rather then issue compliments on appearance, but that is just my opinion.

 

I would react by thinking how to avoid the complimentor as much as possible in the future.

It would be weird coming from anybody, unless, hypothetically, I was in love. The creepiness factor would decrease in that circumstance, but would still be odd.

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J. van Deijck

I've heard this so many times I just don't really pay any attention to complimenting my face anyway.

myself, I don't make such comments at all, but there are some people whose faces melt my heart. 😍

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I have a variation of the "I like your face" that I sometime think but I almost never say: "you're a pretty human."

 

Usually if I'm complimenting someone on an aspect of their appearance it's an article of clothing or some accessory that they are wearing/have. Then it is intended as more of a "you have good taste" or "we have similar taste - yay!"

 

Personally, I always feel a little awkward when I get complimented on my appearance - like on one hand I don't believe you but on the other I like that someone else seems to appreciate the effort I put in (i.e. getting to a healthy weight). This feeling occurs just about every time I receive compliments. My typical response - if I respond - is "I'm glad you think so."

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Celyn: The Lutening

If someone told me they liked my face, I'd probably reply that's it's not for sale, and avoid them like the plague therever after. It's a weird thing to say and being reduced to body part isn't nice.

I appreciate the point that some people are just desperately pretty but there's no point saying it, I'm sure they already know.

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I like compliments, but if a random person were to tell me "I like your face" I... I don't know how I'd feel honestly lol. Part of me would be happy to receive a compliment, but the other half would be a little bit weirded out? In just my experience, if a guy were to tell me I was attractive/pretty/etc, that usually meant he liked me or was interested in me, and that would make me uncomfortable. Girls compliment one another all the time, so I wouldn't be much bothered with that, unless she had feelings for me and then that would make me feel uncomfortable too. 

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WobblyWallaby

I never actually say to anyone that I think they're pretty. Usually I'll compliment their hair or clothes. It personally makes me uncomfortable for someone to tell me I'm pretty. I tend to prefer to be complimented on my outfit  rather than my face.. but that's just me

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"I like your face isn't something that I would say, it seems a little abrupt. I have complemented people's appearance before. I usually settle for something like "I like your hair" or "Your shirt is awesome" rather than outright telling them that I find them pretty/aesthetically appealing. I did once tell a girl that she was so pretty it was kind of intimidating. I don't think she knew how to react to that. 

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I'd rather be complimented on stuff I have control over, not physical features that are a part of me where I have no say. If I knew they were being honest, I'd appreciate the sentiment, but I also might worry its a joke or something. I feel like complimenting stuff someone has control over or can be viewed as an accomplishment, like their clothing style, their makeup, their programming skills, their bravery, their choice of posters, their socks, their tattoos... I feel like those are more genuine because you're complimenting them as a person, instead of their genetics. But everyone is different and I know a lot of people would really appreciate compliments about their physical features. In those cases tho, it can be helpful to know what people often find sweet and what people often find creepy. That really depends on the individual and the context, but I feel like complimenting someone's face might be seen as creepy by some people, especially if the person is a stranger or acquaintance. 

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
On 11/28/2018 at 7:06 PM, E Wildflower said:

I wish it was more socially acceptable to just tell people "I like your face". How would you react if someone said that to you? Would it be weird coming from some people and not others? I'd like to hear your thoughts. (I'm not adding a poll because I don't want to limit the variety of responses.)

I think I would be a bit startled or surprised but otherwise OK with it. There's nothing wrong with complimenting other people's looks without flirting after all. 

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  • 1 month later...

if someone told me they liked my face, I'd think it was funny and it would make me pretty happy :) 

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On 11/28/2018 at 10:06 AM, E Wildflower said:

I wish it was more socially acceptable to just tell people "I like your face". How would you react if someone said that to you? Would it be weird coming from some people and not others? I'd like to hear your thoughts. (I'm not adding a poll because I don't want to limit the variety of responses.)

I am pushing 60 and I started out plain, my reaction would be "see an eye doctor"

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  • 1 month later...
Squirrel Combat

There's a first time for everything. I'd like hearing that. Preferably from a woman.

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I feel awkward getting compliments, no matter how well meaning. 

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I tend not to compliment people on any part of their bodies, because it tends to come off as sexual.

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My way around this, without actually realising it may come off as creepy was to say to someone "I love seeing you, your smile brightens my day up" which is true, but I didn't even realise that I had made that comment, but someone at work recorded me speaking to the person telling me I was a creep, I went and apologised for sounding creepy, they took it as it was meant rather than me being a creep

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  • 9 months later...

@E Wildflower

 

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organisation, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to restart new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

  

iff, Census Forum Moderator

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