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Because non-demiromanticism wasn't confusing enough for me already...


AspieAlly613

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To my (demiromantic) mind, there's friendship, where your social interaction is called "hanging out," and then there's a "I would rather we share our lives than live our own lives, you complete me" style of friendship, which is called "romance," and in a romance, your interaction is called "dating."  There's plenty of gray area in between, where a friendship is more than just a friendship, but less than a romance.  This is called "queerplatonic partnership."

 

Meanwhile, in the rest of reality, things (apparently) don't work that way.

 

Apparently, when most couples start dating, they're not "boyfriend/girlfriend/appropriate gender equivalent" yet, but they're not queerplatonic partners, either.  How does that work?

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Anthracite_Impreza
1 hour ago, AspieAlly613 said:

Apparently, when most couples start dating, they're not "boyfriend/girlfriend/appropriate gender equivalent" yet, but they're not queerplatonic partners, either.  How does that work?

Aren't they just "friends", quotation marks implied?

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I always thought of dating as two strangers agreeing to meet regularly until you both agree to skip the friendship part and become in a relationship.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I also find the beginning stages of dating to be very confusing. There is a girl that I've gone on a few dates with, but we're not officially "together" and I find I have no words to describe that kind of relationship. She's not my girlfriend, but we're interested in each other as more than friends. Whenever I try to talk about her or describe her in relation to myself, I draw a blank: "She's my...uh...?"

 

So far, the best I can come up with is "girl that I date sometimes."

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I think the problem here is that there isn't necessarily a progression from friendship to QPR to romance. One does not have to (and oftentimes isn't supposed to) lead to another. People don't necessarily enter friendships or QPR's in preparation for romance, and people can have romance without having the other two first. Each one is a separate form of relationship, rather than a stage in development.

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I usually develop crushes on people without knowing anything about them first. I have no desire to date people (and most people I have crushes on are celebrities or fictional characters anyway) but if I did, I guess I'd just kind of go for dating them before knowing them. Which, now that I think about it, sounds a bit weird. Like, you don't even know that person and you just immediately start getting to know them as a romantic interest? It sounds strange :D but that's how I would do it, I just fall for people fast before I have any time to become friends or anything that resembles that so possibly (if I were brave enough) I would just immediately ask them out in the romantic kinda way. And now that I thought of it more going from strangers to dating seems a bit creepy to me xD 

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