songchick

Are sexual fantasies actually visual, sensory experiences?

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songchick

I have been talking to my boyfriend about how people have dreams when they're asleep.  It never occurred to me that people actually dream in real colors, feel real sensations as if it were real life.  For me, my dreams are totally black with only "memories" of pictures that are very nondescript.  I mostly dream of jumping down staircases, skipping all the stairs and floating above them.  Here's Dreammood's interpretation of this:

 

To dream that you are walking down a flight of stairs represents your repressed thoughts. You are regressing back into your subconscious. It also refers to the setbacks that you are experiencing in your life.

To see spiral or winding stairs signify growth and/or rebirth.

To dream that you are floating on air indicates satisfaction, contentment and acceptance of some situation. You are letting go of your problems and rising above obstacles. You are experiencing new-found freedom and gaining a new perspective on things. Nothing seems overwhelming or too difficult to handle. Alternatively, floating in your dream suggests that you are wandering through life aimlessly with no goals. You are just going with the flow

 

Anyway, I'm thinking the same is with sexual fantasies.  I have pretty much none.  For allosexuals (and whoever really), do fantasies manifest as real, actual sensory experiences?  Or are they very engrossing and engaging, causing emotions and feelings to be pulled at?  For me, I think of it and then it's a strain to keep thinking of it, so then I let the thoughts go.  If I masturbate, I think about getting it over with.  It only feels like I'm shooting up with drugs honestly.

 

I'm rambling.  But I'm just wondering about how sexual fantasies are experienced.  Or even dream states in general.

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Hapa

I've heard dreaming of snakes means so and so, ie ur pregnant but so far doesn't exactly hold true for me!

 

As for sex dreams it used to happen during adolescence (shortly after witnessing fellow students as young as like 9yo engaging in sex acts with each other) and often involve being forced to do something but afterwards I would feel relileved that it was just a nightmare.

 

Seemed very real, though! Glad just doesn't happen anymore now, in say a decade or so, so far.

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songchick
23 minutes ago, Hapa said:

I've heard dreaming of snakes means so and so, ie ur pregnant but so far doesn't exactly hold true for me!

 

As for sex dreams it used to happen during adolescence (shortly after witnessing fellow students as young as like 9yo engaging in sex acts with each other) and often involve being forced to do something but afterwards I would feel relileved that it was just a nightmare.

 

Seemed very real, though! Glad just doesn't happen anymore now, in say a decade or so, so far.

I'm glad for you that those dreams don't happen anymore.  Sounds scary.

 

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R_1

Mine are completely visual and detached. I'm never even there. No sounds either.

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songchick
Just now, R_1 said:

Mine are completely visual and detached. I'm never even there. No sounds either.

Does the visual experience look like actual pictures with color?

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R_1
7 minutes ago, songchick said:

Does the visual experience look like actual pictures with color?

Yes,  and mostly of anime-like quality with realism in proportion.  Now,  if I'm reading sexual literature,  it's almost real. It depends on the time and mood.

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songchick
Just now, R_1 said:

Yes,  and mostly of anime-like quality.  Now,  if I'm reading sexual literature,  it's almost real. It depends on the time and mood.

Woah, you mean you actually see pictures when you read?  That's mind-blowing.  Maybe that's why it's so hard for me to read.  I don't see any pictures.  I actually find writing more easier than reading.

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Violet of the Stars
19 minutes ago, songchick said:

Woah, you mean you actually see pictures when you read?  That's mind-blowing.  Maybe that's why it's so hard for me to read.  I don't see any pictures.  I actually find writing more easier than reading.

It sounds like you have aphantasia, which is the lack of a "mind's eye", i.e. you are unable to picture things in your mind. As far as I know, most people can picture things in their mind, with varying levels of detail.

 

Image result for mind blown

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SithMaster WinterDragon

I've never had any sexual fantasies, dreams or desires so I'm lucky for that as I avoid everything with sex and romance on all levels. However for other people it will vary on their experiences  on what their fantasies are.

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songchick
1 hour ago, Violet of the Stars said:

It sounds like you have aphantasia, which is the lack of a "mind's eye", i.e. you are unable to picture things in your mind. As far as I know, most people can picture things in their mind, with varying levels of detail.

 

Oh man, just looked this up, this IS ME.  Especially this page I am reading about being a writer with aphantasia (I write): https://www.critiquecircle.com/blog.asp?blogID=323

 

I think this interferes with my ability to have sexual fantasies.  If I didn't have this condition, would I be considered ace still?  This is really complicated.  Also, is there ever an interference of aphantasia and music?  I have a real aversion to music :( 

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Nowhere Girl

My dreams are always in colour - however, they are not about sex, I don't have sex dreams. But I have poor dream recall, I usually remember no more than 2-3 dreams per 20, or perhaps even less.

It was strange to me hearing that some people supposedly dream in black and white. The earliest dream I remember was very colorful - a pink sea, at the age of about 4. Some time earlier I've been to the seaside for the first time and it was very interesting for me to see how water colour changes depending on depth and how sometimes there is some shallow water far from the shore. In my dream I saw the same, but in shades of pink instead of greenish-blue...

I've once read than dreams in black and white are/were a real phenomenon and that what influenced them was... black and white vs. colour TV.
 

I do have sexual fantasies (only in third person - autochorissexual). And even though I have never noticed anything odd about the visual aspect of my dreams, I seem to have mild aphantasia. I mean - I can imagine how something looks like, but when imagining something, I never actually see any images in my "mind's eye". I'm an extreme verbal thinker and so when having fantasies, I'm trying to faintly imagine how the scene would look like, but I mostly describe it in words in my thoughts. Perhaps there is also an over-individual aspect to my way of having fantasies - I may be such an extreme verbal thinker because I learned to read early and started prefering it over all other activities - so a lot of my experience of the world became intermediated by the textual.

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Kayze

I've had fetish-related "sexual" dreams, but extremely rarely. It's never resulted in anything more than morning wood.

 

A lot of my dreams are a nonsensical string scenarios, jumping from one to the next. Never high detail, mostly in feel, like imagining something while awake. You never get too high detailed with those but get the basic idea.

 

But I also don't dream too often. When I do, it's usually stress dreams or otherwise emotional. So, I'm ok with my blank nights.

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Tame One

First off, woah. Me too. I'm not sure if I actually have aphantasia or if I just have a very limited mind's eye. (I'm leering of self-diagnosing). But this sounds awfully familiar to me too. I've always known I wasn't a very visual person, but having a description, knowing that this is a thing is revelatory.

 

3 hours ago, songchick said:

I think this interferes with my ability to have sexual fantasies.  If I didn't have this condition, would I be considered ace still?  This is really complicated.

 

I have wondered in the past if not being a visual person contributes to my lack of sexual attraction (though not a lack of sexual fantasy which is distinct for me--and which certainly is not visual). I don't know that it is the only factor leading me to never experience sexual attraction to anyone, though. 

 

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Tame One

I've been thinking a bit more about the relationship between my not being a visual person and my being asexual. And while I think there's more to my not being visual. Because I know that I appreciate visual art less than a lot of people for instance--I have a graphic novel book club and for me the art in graphic novels helps tell a story, but I rarely care about the style of the art, unless some of the other people in the book club. That's all with my eyes open and so doesn't have anything to do with aphantasia. (Maybe they're related, but I'm saying I'm less visual than most people in most ways).

 

I think that probably keeps from being attracted to people because I don't subconsciously judge a person by their looks in a way that at least some allosexuals do (as well as people who experience aesthetic but not sexual attraction). Aphantasia (or being close to that) may play a second role in lack of sexual attraction, because it would be awfully hard to have intrusive sexual thoughts about someone if my brain isn't set up to visualize. (Not that fantasy is only visual, but maybe a visual component is necessary or at least important to push intrusive sexual thoughts. I don't know, I need time to think about this.

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songchick
2 hours ago, Tame One said:

Aphantasia (or being close to that) may play a second role in lack of sexual attraction, because it would be awfully hard to have intrusive sexual thoughts about someone if my brain isn't set up to visualize. (Not that fantasy is only visual, but maybe a visual component is necessary or at least important to push intrusive sexual thoughts. I don't know, I need time to think about this.

EXACTLY!!  This aphantasia causes me confusion with determining what I'm attracted to also.  And I'm realizing that I have it with all 5 senses.  Damn.

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kiaroskuro
19 hours ago, songchick said:

Also, is there ever an interference of aphantasia and music?  I have a real aversion to music :( 

An aversion to music? That sounds terrible, to be honest :( Have you always felt this way?

 

I imagine that it's tough having aphantasia, but it's not necessarily a bad thing in all respects. Having a very vivid imagination isn't always a blessing; I often experience it as a curse.

 

4 hours ago, Tame One said:

I've been thinking a bit more about the relationship between my not being a visual person and my being asexual. And while I think there's more to my not being visual. Because I know that I appreciate visual art less than a lot of people for instance--I have a graphic novel book club and for me the art in graphic novels helps tell a story, but I rarely care about the style of the art, unless some of the other people in the book club. That's all with my eyes open and so doesn't have anything to do with aphantasia. (Maybe they're related, but I'm saying I'm less visual than most people in most ways).

 

I think that probably keeps from being attracted to people because I don't subconsciously judge a person by their looks in a way that at least some allosexuals do (as well as people who experience aesthetic but not sexual attraction). Aphantasia (or being close to that) may play a second role in lack of sexual attraction, because it would be awfully hard to have intrusive sexual thoughts about someone if my brain isn't set up to visualize. (Not that fantasy is only visual, but maybe a visual component is necessary or at least important to push intrusive sexual thoughts. I don't know, I need time to think about this.

Kind of interesting; but your theory wouldn't be true for me.

 

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songchick
1 hour ago, kiaroskuro said:

An aversion to music? That sounds terrible, to be honest :( Have you always felt this way?.

 

I actually used to be a professional-level classical musician, I played the viola.  For my entire childhood, I eschewed modern and non-classical music, and really used it as a reason to isolate myself from the world.  After developing schizophrenia in 2008, it really is not something I enjoy 100% of the time.  If I want to listen to music, I put it on and really focus on it.  I can't have it as a background type of noise for myself.  It's not bad when I go into an elevator or a store with the music playing, unless I really focus on it.  Christmastime is not the best because they just play the same songs over and over again.  I wish I enjoyed music more.  It makes so many people happy, but it makes me rattle in my bones.

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Marlow1

@songchick

 

 My device is not working and I am having trouble typing.I have total aphantasia (all senses). Almost all of my previous posts are about this. Please go to the seach box above. Where it says author type in Marlow1, and then in the search box Aphantasia, a lot of posts will come up. As I said I am struggling to type, but I will try to get online tomorrow. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIND ANY OF MY OLD POSTS AND IF THEY ARE ANY USE TO YOU

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Tame One
5 hours ago, kiaroskuro said:

Kind of interesting; but your theory wouldn't be true for me.

Of course. This is probably a half baked theory based on something I realize less than 24 hours ago. More importantly, what is the case for me isn't necessarily the case for other people. And I'm pretty sure that there's more going on with my asexuality that experience/lack of experience with the visual world. I don't know if it is a sufficient condition for my asexuality--I rather doubt it--and obviously it isn't a necessary condition to be asexual.

 

But, if you don't mind my asking @kiaroskuro - how does your experience work that this is different from my theory?

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kiaroskuro

@Tame One OK, let me think about how to explain it ... I'm a HSP (highly sensitive person) and like I said, I have a vivid imagination, so depending on the circumstances I can easily get turned on by certain voices, pictures, words (they don't have to be graphic descriptions of sensual/sexual acts), sensory input of different kinds. I'm quite sure that I'm ace, though, even sex-repulsed in part. So that's why I doubt that there's a connection between aphantasia and the lack of sexual attraction. But of course, it's different for everyone, like you said. 

 

As a matter of fact, I just learned about the term SPS (sensory processing sensitivity), connected with HSP. Humans characterized as high SPS (or HSP) are likely to “pause to check” in novel situations (Aron and Aron 1997; Aron et al. 2012), show heightened awareness of and attention to subtle stimuli, and appear to be more reactive to both positive and negative stimuli (Jagiellowicz 2012).

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4086365/

 

On 11/26/2018 at 4:02 PM, Tame One said:

Aphantasia (or being close to that) may play a second role in lack of sexual attraction, because it would be awfully hard to have intrusive sexual thoughts about someone if my brain isn't set up to visualize. (Not that fantasy is only visual, but maybe a visual component is necessary or at least important to push intrusive sexual thoughts. I don't know, I need time to think about this.

I think I understand what you mean, the visual component sure is an important part of it, but I don't have those intrusive sexual thoughts about other people, or rarely.

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Fluffy Femme Guy

My dreams are visual and in color, and there's sometimes sound, but are often silent.
No touch or smell sensations. There is sometimes a distinct emotional state that is blatantly related to the dream content.
Rarely do they contain people. It's usually 'places', either real or fantastic or real places/thing with some weird tweak or twist.
My dreams are rarely erotic or sexual, I can only recall a handful of that type at best.

My sexual fantasies are mostly visual, with some audio components (talking/speech).
 

On 11/26/2018 at 9:02 AM, Tame One said:

It would be awfully hard to have intrusive sexual thoughts about someone if my brain isn't set up to visualize. Not that fantasy is only visual, but maybe a visual component is necessary or at least important to push intrusive sexual thoughts. I don't know, I need time to think about this. 

Being a very visual person, I'm inclined to agree with this.
I'm also very into sounds and music. I have indeed experienced intense and/or intrusive sound imagining before (in general, not just sexual) , but it isn't the norm for me.

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Small Horse

When I dream or fantasize, visuals are actually rather fuzzy, but sounds and touch are realistic. So realistic that I've woken up and thought I actually heard or felt it. I can imagine smells too, but I normally don't dream or fantasize with smells unless it's food related. I have sensitive hearing, touch, sense of smell/taste, and to some degree bright light, but I've had very poor vision until I got LASIC in my early 20's, so this might be related to why my visuals are dark and fuzzy.

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IceKing

I've only had 4 or 6 dreams with sexual content in my whole life. Most of them were intrusive dreams like Hapa described. Not pleasant.
Luckily I don't feel touch in my dreams and there is no sound. My dreams are shaped by images (sometimes blurry sometimes not), colors and feelings. The emotions are the hardest part to deal with. As child I often had nightmares and the feelings inside my dreams felt very real so I was immensely scared but also relieved after waking up.
Fortunately I don't have nightmares anymore. As for sexual fantasies I rarely have some but if I do, I'm never present in them and the visuals are rather vague. Exception is while reading an erotic story - then images find their way more easily into my head. But this goes for stories in general. Sound can sometimes awake arousal inside of me but then there are no images just the audio I sink into and my feelings.

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sababajwa
On 11/25/2018 at 1:06 PM, songchick said:

I have been talking to my boyfriend about how people have dreams when they're asleep.  It never occurred to me that people actually dream in real colors, feel real sensations as if it were real life.  For me, my dreams are totally black with only "memories" of pictures that are very nondescript.  I mostly dream of jumping down staircases, skipping all the stairs and floating above them.  Here's Dreammood's interpretation of this:

 

To dream that you are walking down a flight of stairs represents your repressed thoughts. You are regressing back into your subconscious. It also refers to the setbacks that you are experiencing in your life.

To see spiral or winding stairs signify growth and/or rebirth.

To dream that you are floating on air indicates satisfaction, contentment and acceptance of some situation. You are letting go of your problems and rising above obstacles. You are experiencing new-found freedom and gaining a new perspective on things. Nothing seems overwhelming or too difficult to handle. Alternatively, floating in your dream suggests that you are wandering through life aimlessly with no goals. You are just going with the flow

 

Anyway, I'm thinking the same is with sexual fantasies.  I have pretty much none.  For allosexuals (and whoever really), do fantasies manifest as real, actual sensory experiences?  Or are they very engrossing and engaging, causing emotions and feelings to be pulled at?  For me, I think of it and then it's a strain to keep thinking of it, so then I let the thoughts go.  If I masturbate, I think about getting it over with.  It only feels like I'm shooting up with drugs honestly.

 

I'm rambling.  But I'm just wondering about how sexual fantasies are experienced.  Or even dream states in general.

I have sex dreams but I don’t care about it if it was happening in real life I could just walk out of someone kissing me that’s how much I don’t care LOL asexual to the core

 

but my dreams throw me off I’m like ? What the

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