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Why can't i just accept myself?


Ace from space

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Ace from space

um, hi i guess. That's the second time i'm here, to be honest i feel terrible the last few days.. Why can't i just accept myself? why can't i just let me be? I'm always trying to force romance into me for no reason! I feel so uncomrftable when it comes to romance, why am i doing this to myself? I mean, i was totally okay with the fact of my asexuality, why can't i just be okay with being aromantic or lithoromantic af? i don't really know.. what i know for sure is that when i try to get involved with someone romantically, it feels so wrong! Like it's the worst thing ever.. Why am i forcing myself into this although it feels so wrong? I want to accept me and be happy, why can't i just do it? i don't understand me anymore..

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Just learn how to be yourself. You were born knowing this. You have simply forgotten how. A recent post of mine pondered some of the archaic misconceptions conservative societies foster. Maybe the worst of them is that women are incomplete without men. Curiously the opposite doesn't seem to be true. In fact it is almost suggested men are better off without women. Then some pseudo Jesus beats you in the face with a moldy bible proclaiming that woman is the downfall of man. I find it hard to believe that any of this is remotely believable. Ah, convenience.  So convenient.  Got milk? No? Fill your tank and fill your shopping list at the convenience store. I don't think people realize convenience isn't free.  It's a heavy tax masquerading as something you need. You REALLY need it. You really don't need it. Put down the damned i phone and turn off the TV. Fake news or not fake news. There will always be the commercials. Buy more. Buy more now. It goes on and on and on. I grew up during the closing days of the last counter cultural movement. No, not the X, Y or Z generation. This was Berkeley California, 1968. No, I wasn't there. I just watched some of it on TV between the cigarette commercials. Obviously something everybody needs. Filter, flavor, pack or box. Whatever. Beware merchants. These people can't threaten to kill you like soldiers can but they are masters of seduction. They are usually what kills counter cultural revolutions. I believe the first happened in Palestine two thousand years ago.  A group of foreigners were occupied by the most powerful military force on earth. Resistance was futile. Maybe not. A very clever group of Jews simply found that the best weapon they had was themselves. Disown the culture of those who seek to occupy you. Merchants in the temple? Simple. Don't visit the temple. Worship at home. Of course merchants are just as clever. The best weapon they have is deceit. If you can't beat them don't join them. Just pretend you do.  You can then have the best of both worlds. I saw the consequences of this when blue jeans changed from badges of resistance to fashion statements. Long ago and far away people's comfortable homes eventually evolved into the born again churches lining the streets of small towns like garbage cans. I don't know if any of this makes any sense to you but for what its worth it has kept me sane and happy all my life. No merchants in my temple. In the pasture where I live, the flock seems such an enormous herd of brain washed cattle.  I'm not one of them. You don't have to be either.

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It could be that something is missing in your life and you're trying to fill it with romance. If you don't have a sense of accomplishment or something to take pride in in your life, it's natural to fixate on something like romance as a way to soothe the ache.

 

Often times, to be happy with "who we are," we need to be doing things we can feel genuinely proud of. Hobbies, working out, and volunteering are often a good start that can help us feel more confident with ourselves and less like we need another person in our lives to provide something we're not providing for ourselves.

 

The world around us puts a lot of emphasis on romance, but there's so much more out there to do besides that.

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