Letzxy Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 Hi, my name is Marina. I've always been a love-shy girl (a lot less awkward now but I used to be VERY awkward) and I'm pretty sure I'm heterosexual, but I've had some kind of crisis this past few years, tho I'm more calm about it now. The thing is that i've been feeling like an alien, all my friends don't have any problem to make out with some random person and I'm here not even having the drive to even go on a date with someone I don't know, even if I find them physically attractive. I'm more confused than before, I've been asked recently to go out on a date with some guy from my college (I've only spoken to him two times). I do find him a bit attractive and I think he's a nice guy, but once I think about the soon to be date I just feel so lazy, like it's a waste of time. And the activity is also meh to me. It's not like I'm not super anxious about someone approaching me tho, so it may be that my lazyness about it it's caused by my anxiety and lack of experience? (not even a kiss, isn't that weird?)... Though I also have a very low sex drive, it's there, but it's very low... I'm so confused... Also there's the idea that the guy might try something and I'll have to say no to him since I'm not comfortable, I always think that if it was other person they would definitely not have any problems making out so soon... Should I just cancel it and go when I feel ready? Or go but tell the guy beforehand that I'm awkward? Also... What am I? Sorry, I know I'm acting like a drama queen, but I'm 22 years old and not having experience and feeling like sex is not that much of a big deal makes me feel like I'm broken... thank you for your attention! Also... english is not my first language, sorry if I made mistakes! Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyace Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 You sound like you could be gray asexual and also possibly aromantic or demiromantic. I think that looking into aromantic terminology and that community in general to see if anything fits might be beneficial for you. Link to post Share on other sites
i3utterflyeffect Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 If you don't cancel the date, I'd suggest that you tell him beforehand that you're not comfortable with sex or kissing. He should understand if he's a good guy. Also-- here's a chart that I've seen around. This may help you figure out your orientation. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 Maybe traditional dating isnt for you? I cant do it, I found. I need to know a person a long time to develop romantic feelings and want to kiss or anything of that nature... and dating just goes far too fast. I need to start as friends and go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
songchick Posted November 25, 2018 Share Posted November 25, 2018 On 11/22/2018 at 6:26 AM, Serran said: Maybe traditional dating isnt for you? I cant do it, I found. I need to know a person a long time to develop romantic feelings and want to kiss or anything of that nature... and dating just goes far too fast. I need to start as friends and go from there. Absolutely, I can't date someone I just met. For me, I have my boyfriend who lives a few hours away, and we chat online a lot. We only expressed attraction after chatting online for 6 months as friends. Now we visit each other every month, and again that is going slowly. We've been physically intimate, but that is difficult for me and it feels like it's going too fast even though we've been friendly for over a year. I'm having my questions also. Maybe telling your date that you've never had any contact with anyone romantically/sexually, and that you're uncomfortable could maybe get the person to slow down. Just an idea. Link to post Share on other sites
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