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I Think I have a Problem


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I know there are already many discussions on this topic, but everyone is different and I want to know if anyone is even remotely similar to my current situation.

See, I have never had so much as a squish or crush, yet now I am starting to wonder if I have. People speak of romantic attraction as a warm, cuddly feeling and wanting to always remain at someone's side. I do not think that that is what I am feeling, but I might be in love with my best friend.

 

Whenever I am with her I feel comfortable in a way that I don't with anyone else. I feel perfectly fine separated, though I always feel happy and cheerful in her presence. Sometimes I also feel sort of queasy, in a way that I wonder if I'm really just sick. Hence my confusion. But every now and then my face heats up. Our other friends have also said that I've been in a better mood than usual.

 

Words can't quite express how I feel.

 

However, there are some issues as well.

We're both female and her parents are extremely homophobic, and she is also supposed to be moving to another town once the semester ends. She also says she might like someone. I don't know who they are yet, but it might not be me.

 

This pretty much sums it up, though I may have forgotten a few details. I would be very thankful for any replies.

By the way, we are both around fourteen, if that helps any.

 

Kind of sucks for my potential first love.

 

Edit: She believes she may be bisexual.

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I've never experienced either a Crush or a Squish, so I don't know if that's what you have.
But you did say that you're perfectly fine separated, so I don't think it's a crush.

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I've had sooooo many squishes it's ridiculous.

 

Squishes sometimes feel a lot like romantic crushes! With my latest squish I had to go through a lot of soul-searching to work out what my feelings were because I honestly thought I was experiencing a romantic crush, and I was afraid of what that would mean for my romantic orientation. I like being aro.

After much thought, I realised it's still only a squish. Although I often feel the same way as you do when I'm with this person - face heating up and warm, fuzzy feelings whenever we talk, feeling 100% happier when we interact - I knew that I didn't want to enter a romantic relationship with this person or do romantic things (you know, dating, kissing, whatnot). I just wanted to continue being the way we are, which is perfect. That helped me realise what I was feeling and what that meant for my own definition of my orientation.

 

This is where it gets tricky because labels and feelings are individual - they're all different and mean different things for different people. You just have to ask yourself what romance means for you. 

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Okay thanks. But it's kind of too late now.

One of our friends found out, about how we both feel, so we ended up talking it over.

 

We're not even friends anymore.

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1 hour ago, EucalyptusKNight said:

Okay thanks. But it's kind of too late now.

One of our friends found out, about how we both feel, so we ended up talking it over.

 

We're not even friends anymore.

I'm sorry to hear that.

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15 hours ago, EucalyptusKNight said:

kind of deserved it, to be honest.

Oh my gosh I'm sooooo so sorry. You didn't deserve to be dropped for your feelings, that's awful. If you ever need to talk about it :(

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16 hours ago, EucalyptusKNight said:

I kind of deserved it, to be honest.

I mean, unless you punched her in the face or something equivalent to that, you probably didn't deserve to lose your friend.

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