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Brahmacarya

Disliking sexual feelings

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Brahmacarya

Does anyone else who experiences general physical arousal dislike or feel otherwise uncomfortable with the sensations?

I have heard it frequently said that people enjoy "feeling sexy." This seems to relate both to the psychological gratification of the awareness that you are physically sexually attractive to others (with or without overture) and the sensations within oneself of erotic excitation and genital arousal. It seems detrimental to people not to feel these things, and I am told can even result in depression not to feel "virile."

This seems incomprehensible to me. I strongly dislike and feel discomforted by my own sensations of erotic excitation, genital arousal, or even mental preoccupation with any kind of sexualised thinking. I have no interest in being sexually attractive to others, or attracting attention or interest in myself on a sexual basis. I would vastly prefer not to have any form of sexual nature whatsoever.

Anyone else regard it similarly?

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hayden01

I know how you feel!

 

but honestly, that may say something about how I dealt with it and perceived it growing up.

 

most of the time I hate being sexually aroused, I don't like to think of my self as sexually appealing to anyone, I don't think I experience sexual attraction to people (at least under normal circumstances) because am somewhat demi-sexual, but when I start feeling any type of romantic attraction to a person, I hate it. I just hate the fact that I can feel that way, 

get attached to someone, be so attracted to someone...but i guess it's part of being human, to me it's not the part of my humanity that i want to nurture and fulfil the most,(mainly because it's harder for various reasons)

and so i try to help people, fall in love with as many things as i can, grow in art, feel the beauty of nature, let my mind and soul travel to worlds that I feel like I belong in.

 

 

 

but when I think of how girls and boys, feel for each other, how are they attracted to each other. I feel quite excluded, and it makes me sad. but at times more than others

 

  

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kaysir

Many people feel this way. It happens to me off and on. Some people enjoy the sensations and urges, some people don't like them but do like release through sexual acts, and some don't like any part of it. I go back and forth.

 

Anyway, if I could choose to never feel arousal again (without some dangerous or expensive process), I'd do it.

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Nowhere Girl

I don't mind being aroused, but I absolutely don't want to "feel sexy". I never do. I'm sex-averse enough that the very idea that I may be sexually attractive to someone feels uncomfortable. My sexuality is all in my head and I don't want to personally experience any kind of partnered sexuality.

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songchick
On 11/16/2018 at 2:40 AM, Brahmacarya said:

Does anyone else who experiences general physical arousal dislike or feel otherwise uncomfortable with the sensations?

I have heard it frequently said that people enjoy "feeling sexy." This seems to relate both to the psychological gratification of the awareness that you are physically sexually attractive to others (with or without overture) and the sensations within oneself of erotic excitation and genital arousal. It seems detrimental to people not to feel these things, and I am told can even result in depression not to feel "virile."

This seems incomprehensible to me. I strongly dislike and feel discomforted by my own sensations of erotic excitation, genital arousal, or even mental preoccupation with any kind of sexualized thinking. I have no interest in being sexually attractive to others, or attracting attention or interest in myself on a sexual basis. I would vastly prefer not to have any form of sexual nature whatsoever.

Anyone else regard it similarly?

I REALLY appreciate this question.  I see people around me enjoying their sexual urges, but it just doesn't feel natural to me.  It's also hard because people around me may be expressing their sexual urges socially through staring at me or even flirting with me, and I don't pick up on their vibes.  (I live in NYC, so I'm always around people on the subway, etc.)  In the past when I was more innocent and unaware, I've had molestations happen to me because I had no idea of the other person's intentions.  I have known certain people who are hypersexual, and hearing about their urges makes me uncomfortable.  With one former friend, I tried to get him to like me, but always turned me down.  I think he knew of my lack of sexual urges and desire for a soulmate partner, instead of someone interested in casual sex.

That's another thing, it's really foreign to me how people can enjoy casual sex.  I tried it way too much when I was in my 20s (I'm 33 now), and it was horrible.  I was trying to fit in and it didn't feel right at all.  I was really insecure then.

 

When describing myself, I don't like the idea that not feeling "virile" or "sexy" can cause depression.  The only depression I feel is when I try to compare myself to others who are "more" than I am.  Maybe part of that depression is due to lack of sexual performance desired?  At times if I feel a slightly physical sexual sensation while I'm out and about during the day (very rarely), I really hate that feeling.  It makes me feel out of control.  That's the scariest part of it for me also, that sexual urges seem to make people lose control of themselves.  I don't want to lose control of myself ever.  I want to be lucid and work efficient.

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Feys&Florets

I get this myself. It's sometimes enjoyable and other times downright annoying, foreign, and weird.

 

If it doesn't go away on it's own the fastest way to get through it is just to induce the orgasm and move on. At first I didn't actually enjoy the process because there's zero psychological connections or benefits - but I found a workaround. Instead of associating it with sex, I imagine myself doing something I'd actually enjoy, like riding a motorcycle down a highway. Grip of the handlebars, the hum of the motors, the feel of wind rushing past - it works.

 

I guess motorcycles are my cake.

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Evenstar

Asexual with a nonexistent libido here 🖐️ (Yes, my hormones are fine.) Though I've never experienced sexual attraction to another person, when I first went through puberty and my hormones were raging as they do at that age, I definitely felt chemically aroused. It happened at random times and was not connected to any foreign stimulation (such as by other people.) I remember finding it to be physically uncomfortable, annoying, and very distracting. After I got past my early teen years and everything settled down, I never really felt it again. If there's anything I can relate to at this point in my life where I haven't felt aroused in years, it's a general physical discomfort after sex - or particularly sex that ends in orgasm. I would almost prefer not to climax for this reason. Coming down from the chemical "high" of the dopamine/oxytocin after sex feels more like a mood drop than a high at all.

 

As for "feeling sexy?" I like to look good, or how I perceive myself to be "looking good." I don't exactly want to look "sexy," which I would equate to being extremely provocative/showing nudity in a provocative way. (Not nudity itself, but things like pasties, jock straps; things that intentionally draw attention to genitals, etc.) Presenting myself in any of those ways would make me uncomfortable. I do however really enjoy the style of subtle sensuality, which I interpret to be more mysterious and beautiful than sexual at all.

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