Ugh, emotions. Help?

[AKHardy]

So. Hi. 

 

I’m still a 16-yo female virgin, strongly leaning towards ace or demi. 

And today I kissed this boy that I’ve had a queer-platonic relationship with for about 6 months (we’ve been friends for nearly two years now, total).  He’s one of only two people who know that I’m pretty much identifying as ace at this point. 

I have no idea what to do. 

I have no idea what I feel. Not really. 

 

So as a general intro? Sex = ew, ow, I’ll pass thanks.

Kissing though? Heavens knows. 

 

So we just pecked on the lips, twice. It was kinda playful, kinda more like a game, and we have been told more than once that we should go out. We just replied that  we don’t want to risk our friendship. Which is true. 

 

Yet here I am wondering if I want more. 

 

I know that you guys, as wonderful as you are, can’t tell me how I feel. But any advice or experiences that might help?

[NickyTannock]

Don't worry about it.

 

A desire for non-sexual intimacy with a specific other person, like kissing and cuddling, is considered Sensual Attraction, which many Asexuals experience, and which you can have with a Queerplatonic partner.

 

Here's an often posted image you may have seen before, that explains,

[AKHardy]

@MichaelTannock

wait, sensual attraction is a thing?

Because you may have just answered half my sexuality questions with that - thank you!

Wish I’d noticed this around before!

 

Thanks again. 

[NickyTannock]

You're welcome.

[Ceebs]

Get some more life experience. You're 16, it's normal for many people to not want sex yet at that age and to feel uncertain about themselves (in many areas of life of course, not just their sexuality). If you feel like you want to do anything with this guy, or anyone else, and you're comfortable with it, do it. If not, don't. That's how we figure ourselves out. And at 16, you've got plenty of time to do so.

[Ldlelee]

On 11/14/2018 at 6:26 PM, MichaelTannock said:

Don't worry about it.

 

A desire for non-sexual intimacy with a specific other person, like kissing and cuddling, is considered Sensual Attraction, which many Asexuals experience, and which you can have with a Queerplatonic partner.

 

Here's an often posted image you may have seen before, that explains,

Is that last one in the bottom-right supposed to be Benedict Cumberbatch, or--

 

@AKHardy I can't really say that I have much experience, myself. I've had two boyfriends, and they were duds. My first "kiss" was in a game of Truth or Dare, and I barely remember it. All I can say is that if both of you are comfortable with it, then there's nothing wrong with kissing, even if you consider yourselves nothing more than QPPs. You two are the ones that define your relationship, what it is, and what you want to do in it. It's also possible that those feelings will change, but that's okay.

[NickyTannock]

1 minute ago, Gareki said:

Is that last one in the bottom-right supposed to be Benedict Cumberbatch, or--

Someone else said a very long while ago that it is, so I think so.

[banana monkey]

On 11/14/2018 at 11:29 PM, AKHardy said:

@MichaelTannock

wait, sensual attraction is a thing?

Because you may have just answered half my sexuality questions with that - thank you!

Wish I’d noticed this around before!

 

Thanks again. 

That quote pretty much describes how I felt when I found out. It eventually made things more complicated though, and gave me more questions as it doesnt help me figure out the difference between romantic and (platonic) sensual attraction.