dragonharpy

Aesthetic Attraction to One Sex/Gender

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dragonharpy

Hi! Sorry if this has been asked before, but I have a question. Is it possible to only be aesthetically attracted to one sex/gender?

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Philip027

Well yeah.  I'd say most people are, myself included

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Novocaine4thePaiN

I'd say yeah. Of course not everyone fits into it but there is basic aesthetic differences between binary genders if that's what you're referring to.

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Coddiwomple
1 hour ago, Philip027 said:

I'd say most people are, myself included

Wait really? I always assumed everyone was capable of finding anyone attractive regardless of gender. If we're talking aesthetic crush, that's a different story, but I feel like most people can find any gender attractive. Maybe that's just me, though.

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Philip027

I don't understand the difference, really.  All I know is that I've never seen most straight guys saying other guys look hot or pining after them in any other such way, which seems *normal* to me, otherwise I'd be questioning if they were totally straight.

 

The whole "everyone is at least a little bi" mentality seems pervasive, but it is not true.

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Greywulf

I believe it's possible; I consider myself aesthetically attracted to women, but never to men as far as I'm aware.

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Fluffy Femme Guy

Yeah, I'm like that. My aesthetic attraction is directed towards women.

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KendraPM

My aesthetic attraction is also towards women. Not that I can't recognize an attractive man, or find them aesthetically pleasing, but I don't personally find many men aesthetically attractive (I can count on one hand the number of times in my life I've actually been aesthetically attracted to a man, so I suppose I technically experience it to both genders, but considering the innumerable women I've found that heart-stopping "have to stare" draw to, compared to the literally three different men I've felt that with... I consider myself homoaesthetic.)

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MichaelTannock

@dragonharpy Yes, you can be Heteroaesthetic, Homoaesthetic, Biaesthetic, etc.
Aesthetic orientations aren't seen to be as important as the other orientations though.

So you won't find as much discussion about them.

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Aebt

I myself have never seen another male as aesthetically attractive. Females: yes; Transgender: maybe, in theory possibly but yet to see any; Males: no.

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Anthracite_Impreza

I have noticed three levels of aesthetic appreciation:

1. The ability to recognise someone is up to the standard of beauty set by society, without feeling anything yourself (me with all women and femmes and 99.9% of the rest)

2. An internal appreciation of beauty without being prompted (me with 0.1% of men and a considerable amount of vehicles)

3. Actual aesthetic attraction, where you are actually drawn in (me with certain cars, trucks, locos, lorries etc.)

The last is the one I would say is your 'aesthetic orientation'.

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Madao

I think that might be possible. I have aesthetic attraction towards all genders.

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Bejawa
13 hours ago, Coddiwomple said:

Wait really? I always assumed everyone was capable of finding anyone attractive regardless of gender. If we're talking aesthetic crush, that's a different story, but I feel like most people can find any gender attractive. Maybe that's just me, though.

Nah it's me too. As in even if I'm not crushing I can be like "yeah that's good looking".

I can also confirm that for my mother as she has said that outright.

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dragonharpy

I guess I'm just wondering because I'm confused on what aesthetic attraction means and whether it defines what I feel.  It's more like I see a certain type of guy (think Tom Hiddleston) and think he's really cute and hot and admire his looks. Everyone describes it like how you would like a painting but you don't want to have sex with it. I feel like it's more than that for me, though. I don't see the guy like I see a painting. I like how he looks, and how most of his body looks, and I completely understand why someone would want to have sex with him. I just don't. It's like a brick wall just suddenly comes up there. I'm just completely disinterested in the sex part. I'd rather just stare at him. I don't feel the same way about women, though. With them, I feel just like the painting metaphor. So is it aesthetic attraction or something else?

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Anthracite_Impreza

@dragonharpy I've never felt the painting metaphor is accurate either, it's much more in depth than that for me. It is an actual attraction, not just appreciation, but I don't have any desire for it to lead to sex either, even in the most idealised world.

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KendraPM

@dragonharpy The painting metaphor doesn't work for me either. When I'm aesthetically attracted to someone, it's more than just appreciating their good looks (I can appreciated the vast majority of people's good looks if push came to shove) it's a desire to stare, to look at them, and watch them. I'll even often have my heart rate pick up just a bit, but I have no urge to talk to them, interact with them, touch them, and certainly not to have sex with them. I just want to look and admire from afar.

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Katie15

@KendraPM what you said is probably the closest thing I've come in terms of understanding the concept of aesthetic attraction for me. I'm so confused all the romantic attractions, because people here have told me that what I describe often is aesthetic attraction, but I don't really feel comfy with that because it's more than just the way they look. It's like maybe it's their look that draws me in, but connected to that is often this desire or kind of fantasy of "knowing" that person (not in an icky way), being close to them, caring about them and having them care about me. that might sound like platonic attraction (????), but it feels more than that. So yep. confused. sorry. 

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œddy

I've certainly seen striking images or pieces that have set something off in my mind that I suppose is a similar feeling to seeing a beautiful person, but I think the painting metaphor was probably from someone who appreciates art a lot more than any of us.

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SilentRose

I'd say it's definitely possible, a lot of people including myself seem to only be aesthetically attracted to one gender. I think many women are very beautiful and enjoy looking at nice curves of course, but its never gone much beyond admiration. However, when I see a man that I find attractive, looking at him makes me happy or excited and I feel strangely compelled to watch him, look at him, hear his voice. I think that's where the "attraction" part comes in...while I usually have no desire to meet this person and form a relationship, I still feel oddly drawn to them and want to be near them.

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PuckTheMagicDragon

As a gyneromantic individual, I can testify that such feelings are entirely valid. I imagine that aesthetic attraction to you is like sensual attraction to me. Males are entirely excluded from this. I have only ever experienced sensual attraction towards females, in the sense that upon seeing them immedietly get the sense for whether or not I wish to cuddle said individual based on their looks. I can look at a guy and deduce whether or not I would want to, but I hardly feel the same automatic ‘urge’. I’ll flop down on my male best friend at any location for a nap and some warmth, but sensual attraction is out of the question. In any case, asthetic attraction is entirely valid when only experienced in regards to a single gender and/or sex. No social norms or expectations should dictate this. Be comfortable with yourself as much as you are able.

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amat96

While I do have some aesthetic attraction to females I am mostly aesthetically attracted to men. It confused me for a while and I went through a period of thinking I was gay before I realised that it was only aesthetic attraction.

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